I just don't understand (page 2)

ttc99wilson

Here is another stumper with her. Like I said, she only stays at home two nights a week because of our work schedules and someone needs to be there when I go to work at 5 am. When she is gone for two or three days she never calls to check on the kids, except twice. For example, on the weekends I will take the kids to my moms (cause we both work) and they will be there from Friday afternoon to Sunday afternoon and she won't call to check on them or talk to them.

I think she has felt trapped because of the marriage (being a submissive wife and having two kids) so I figured because she wasn't calling the kids that she was just trying to get some space. The other day I mentioned full custody and when I got home from work her and the kids were gone. She had taken them over to a friends and was very upset. Her decisions right now aren't making any sense at all.

jgnat

Which makes me think she doesn't know what she wants, either. Her motives may range all the way through 1 and 4. I think you both need a neutral counsellor to work through all the feelings.

nvrgnbk

Look at reality.

It can be frightening, but it will free you.

Jesus said something like that.

BFD

I have made up my mind about getting baptized. I would appreciate not getting advice from those of you that aren't witnesses or who were but aren't now.

Welcome to JWD. A place to get advice from those who are or once were JWs.

BFD

DJK

Advice from non-witnesses? Talk to your elders about a divorce and the consequences if you are baptized. It appears you are facing a divorce like it or not. No one here will tell you to never baptize, they will suggest you hold off until your divorce is final.

Divorce is tough on children. It gets tougher when the parents are in constant dispute thereafter and thats something the elders wont be able to help you with. IMO.

DJK

nicolaou

Her decisions right now aren't making any sense at all.

I'm sorry but they do make sense - of a sort. She has woken up to reality ahead of you and wants a life away from field service, meetings, elders and nonsensical, judgemental rules. If she's having an affair that is to be deplored but I think I can try to see it from her side.

She may never admit to having done anything, but if she has and I don't know then I will be stuck waiting around instead of getting on with my life.

That's the kind of idiocy she wants to leave behind. Are you sure there is no chance of reconcilliation with your wife? Have you thought of trying to see her point of view? Would you consider taking her back on her terms? Do you still love her? What are her feelings for you?

I do feel for you, you have my sympathies but for god's sake man WAKE UP!

Satanus

Why not let her divorce? She will likely carry on w someone else later, anyway. The wt said that in a case like this, if she divorced on paper, you would still be considered to be married until she did the dirty w someone. So, if you set her free, you can remain like you are married until that happens. You both get what you want. I'm sorry for the kids, but, as someone said, two parents unhappily together are worse for them than two parents more happily apart. Best wishes.

S

Ps, why not wait to be baptised until you get this thing settled?

ttc99wilson

For the record, I have tried to work things out with her. She told me there is no chance for r econciliation. She has even went so far to say that she still wants to go to meetings with her mom but they will both find another hall to go to. It seems that she wants out of this marriage but still wants to go to meetings, but that is a conflict and she I think she is having trouble because she realizes that she can't fool Jehovah.

nvrgnbk

Sometimes the love dies.

Sometimes it was never really there.

It's liberating when one realizes it.

jgnat

I realize she says she doesn't want to work it out. But why? That's going to bug me to my dying day, but there is only so much one can accomplish on a discussion board.

I just don't understand

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