by ttc99wilson 58 Replies latest social relationships
but that is a conflict
Why? How does meeting attendance equate to a happy, fulfilling marriage? It has nothing to do with the state of your relationship AT ALL! Sure, it's nice to have common interests and goals but if she doesn't love you anymore and the relationship has irretrievably broken down no amount of meeting attendance or 'spiritual' counsel will put it right.
Try to take the meetings, scripture and Jehovah out of the picture for a moment - now, what would be your next step?
I have made up my mind about getting baptized. I would appreciate not getting advice from those of you that aren't witnesses or who were but aren't now.
Why don't you want you to understand your wife? Maybe it have something to do with your issu ... Cause I guess she is able to understand what you stand for (as a born in JW).
When I'm reading you I can only see a man who needs advice from elders (well, where did it lead till now?) waiting? trying to get something effective against her scripturally (without considering any context? or what ever you may have done wrong yourself for the situation to get there?). I mean she wants to leave you, she is able to (it seems like) forget about her kids - well that deserves a real attention to understand the basis of thoses breaks.
Being closed mind won't help your wife to be open to tell you her real feelings and reasons ... you are closing the doors actually ... how many times have you closed the door just for instance because whatever is not scripturally JW based on many matters? (in knowing - but maybe you don't by now - that the JW doctrine is quiet F*cked up - maybe you'd like to know before to get baptised and more involved in it). You're playing your life and your kids childwood here (you are responsible too even about this matter it will have an impact on them ...).When a woman is ready to forget about her kids (very often : it have way more to do with an other man - it have way more to do whit I'VE GOT ENOUGH I NEED TO BREATH) of course it sounds selfish but maybe she went as far as she could.
My mother did abandon us (I was 12) I have nothing to hold against her about that ... I have more to hold against her following the JW silly rules and putting us and herself in trouble by frustration ... (hope you'll understand what I'm trying to tell you here - for your kids own good).
I wish I knew the answer but she is unwilling to talk to me or any of the witnesses besides her mom. And as far as I am concerned her mom is one of those witnesses who leads a double life. She married a wordly man while she was inactive and then started going to meetings again after some time went by. I think my wife will eventually try the same. She can had her witness life when she goes to meetings and when she gets home she can have the world and not have to answer to a Christian husband who is going to question her actions.
All of a sudden, I have this irrepressible urge to leave this thread....
She has even went so far to say that she still wants to go to meetings with her mom but they will both find another hall to go to. It seems that she wants out of this marriage but still wants to go to meetings, but that is a conflict and she I think she is having trouble because she realizes that she can't fool Jehovah.
I wish I knew the answer but she is unwilling to talk to me or any of the witnesses besides her mom. And as far as I am concerned her mom is one of those witnesses who leads a double life. She married a wordly man while she was inactive and then started going to meetings again after some time went by. I think my wife will eventually try the same. She can had her witness life when she goes to meetings and when she gets home she can have the world and not have to answer to a Christian husband who is going to question her actions.
Do you really care about what she wants? Why would she care about what you want? why do you think that she feels comfortable with her mom?
Your are ALL lost in the RELIGION SHELVES ... want to follow but can't without messing about most important things (that's what JW doctrine is all about) ... it shoudn't be this way ... bad fruits, bad tree !!!
For you my friend.
As in wake up and smell it.
Women need to feel loved and special and appreciated.
Come to think of it, so do men.
No amount of "theocratic activity" can be a substitute for that.
a Christian husband who is going to question her actions.
If that person is you, there's your problem. If you are trying to use JW rules to be the
HEAD of the household, she might hate that, she might have found a non-JW.
You should similarly use the JW rules now that this hasn't worked, to wait it out before
baptism, so you won't have any judicial trouble if you want to date and marry again.
Nobody is going to beg you to avoid baptism. You want to have your cake and eat it too.
I am saying that you can do this by waiting.
We just give opinions because A) you asked and B) that's what the forum is for.
I wish you well. You are welcome to stay on the forum.
Just read the whole thread...wow and you wonder why she's leaving you?
Thank you all for your support and advice. It is really hard to know what to do right now, part of me says let her go if that is what she really wants and the other part says try and get through to her no matter what it takes.
I am going to try and get through to her as a friend and husband, we have been through a lot over the last 8 years and although I have a strong desire and committment to serve Jehovah my zealousness may be pushing her away. The best I can hope for now is that she will meet me somewhere along the way and confide in me what is really going on and maybe she will be willing to give us another chance.
Now you're getting it, thank you.
Approach her with your history as friends and a couple, and try and really listen. Realize you may not be able to salvage the marriage. But you might be able to get through this friends. For your boys' sake.
