Is JWD a healthy place to be for those who have left the Watchtower?

by AK - Jeff 57 Replies latest jw experiences

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  AK - Jeff

  I received this email today from a friend who posts from time to time on JWD and who struggles with this issue.

  Dear Jeff:
  
  I have some thoughts for you to consider. It has been over 2 years since I left the Watchtower Society.
  
  Everyday, that I read, write, think and talk about the Watchtower Society makes me think whether or not I have really left it for good.
  
  I fail to see the good in reliving the past in this way.
  
  The discussion board features individuals that have 3 to 6 years on the board and individuals who have left the organization more
  than 10 to 15 years ago.
  
  At this point, can I say that I have really left the organization if I spend most of my waking time discussing an organization that I know is false?
  
  What are your thoughts?

  Here is my reply .

  My Friend -
  
  You pose an interesting point.
  
  My personal opine is that it takes several years to heal from the abuse that we suffered as Jw's. Sometimes it takes years to realize that we were abused at all. Healing is individual, and like therapy with a costly couselor, it may take much more time than we think going in.
  
  Rape victims likely consider the matter of rape/safety/morality/activism constantly, perhaps for life. Many forge ahead and use the energy derived from the attack they survived to channel positive encouragement to other victims of this crime. I believe that many of the members of JWD are looking for ways to 'save' others, or help them to heal well.
  
  Perhaps the rare rape survivor just forgets the matter and 'moves on' with no thought of the crime. But most are affected for life. Survivors of cults are often affected for life. Some more deeply than others.
  
  In addition - many leave this cult after having lived the majority of their life without any friends or social structure outside the religion. At the age of 45, 55, or sometimes 75, it is difficult to make many new friends - and there is no common denominator often with others. While they were living life - we were bottled up inside a cult. Now, JWD becomes not just a lifeline - but a social environ with others who share our past.
  
  I guess in short; the social dynamic is to me much larger than it appears on the surface. And though it could be considered a 'waste of time', what other activities in life could not be labeled the same, depending on one's persective?
  
  
  Jeff

  Any thoughts to add?
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  ninja

  tell ted jaracz to stop e-mailing you jeff.....he he
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  nvrgnbk

  I think those that claim to have 'awakened' suddenly after years of involvement in the cult and then merrily move on, commencing a 'normal' life without therapy or the cathartic effect of posting in a place like this or writing a book or some other way of working it out are either much to be admired or very much in denial.

  Sorry for the long sentence.
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  AK - Jeff

  Sorry for the long sentence.

  nvr - you need sentence run-on therapy, man! LOL

  Jeff
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  nvrgnbk

  Hey, I'm usually very concise. LOL!

  Just couldn't find a way to break that down.

  Great response, BTW, Jeff!

  And actually a fair question from your friend.

  Tell yaddayadda I said hello.
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  fedorE

  IF your whole family is still in it including your son/daughter its real hard to totally stop thinking about it ..so this is a pretty good place to shoot the S..T, or to be encouraged , and to share if u feel like it and also to plot the demise of the WTBTS..and the pictures are nice 2..and the ppl
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  Gordy

  There is a saying "You can leave the Watchtower, but the Watchtower never leaves you."

  Most of us on here still in some way have a connection with the WT. I still have a wife and two daughters who are JW's, none of which have spoken to me in the last six years since I DA'd. Can I just ignore the fact because of the WT they have no contact with me.

  If it wasn't for JWD I may not have been able to get on with my life. Realising that I wasn't alone that the same or even worse had happened to others. Last year I met through Dansk (may he soon be well) arranging a meeting with 30 other exJW's.

  Its doesn't mean that I spend every waking moment thinking about JW's. I have work and other family members to think about.

  Though I do like to know what they are up to, so to speak. As with the latest Kingdom Ministry over bible study.

  As Jeff said in his reply to the person. When something happens in a person life, like rape or child abuse etc. We can either dwell on it and let it run out life or we can use it in a positve way. We can use the expereince to help others or draw strength from it and be determined not to let it rule our life.

  Which is the healthier if you are a JW who has left the WT whether DF'd, DA'd, fading etc. Or to sit at home brooding about it or to speak to others who are going through the same thing.
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  flipper

  Hey Jeff- I totally agree with what you wrote your friend. Having been raised in the witnesses from birth and getting out at 43 ,4 years ago , I've found this forum to be a place of learning and healing for me. Also it has been an education for my wife who wonders about my relatives still in it . It is also my goal to help as many as I can with situations and problems that I might have gone through so they can best navigate their way out of the witness organization with some shreds of their sanity left, so in turn they can heal and maybe help others. I get more respect and caring from members of this board than I ever did in the organization , unconditional caring based on respect of where we are in life, not conditional caring based on how supportive I am to a magazine printing company. So yes it's a very healthy place as long as people keep it in perspective for what it is, a support group to help others. We will all do away with the witness lingo in due time, takes some longer than others. But I stopped calling it the truth even before I left the org. Good thread Jeff
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  changeling

  I spent over 40 years in, excuse me if it takes a while to wrap my head around that.

  changeling
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  nvrgnbk

  Is a hospital a good place to be for those recovering from major surgery?