Is JWD a healthy place to be for those who have left the Watchtower?

by AK - Jeff 57 Replies latest jw experiences

  • LongHairGal
    LongHairGal

    Jeff:

    I think I know who you are talking about but I won't say because it wouldn't be right to reveal this.

    I tend to disagree a little with this person because I feel people who post here fall into several categories which have been described pretty much by everybody on this thread. Although I do understand that for certain people it does them no good to talk about it and they have to give it a rest.

    This board does serve a purpose for those who need to vent, those who need to inform, those who need to help and those who need to be social.

    LHG

  • Paralipomenon
    Paralipomenon

    I'd say the forums are bitter-sweet for people that leave the organization. There is alot of information and support to help people to come to terms with their loss of faith, but there's alot of anger and pain as well.

    I think some get sidetracked in their personal healing process by reading and rereading the accounts here. Like a wound under water, it will never heal and there is nothing to stop the flow.

    Some you can tell have family or friends that keep renewing the pain, other do it to themselves.

    Just my thoughts.

  • AK - Jeff
    AK - Jeff

    I must say that I did not expect this much reaction to the post.

    I think it has been a healthy exercise though. Many here are still hurting, or have just found the forum, or are just leaving the organization. Those people need the support of those who have been out for a while, and understand the ups and downs of emotion and reaction that typically follows an exit. Others have been out for a long time, but still hurt. They need friends and support too. All who were dedicated Jw's for a time, have had their entire world turned inside-out. All have lost the entire social structure that they expected would be part of life till they died or reached the New World. Some have moved down the continuum of growth much more quickly than others. Some might not ever get fully healed from the loss.

    Speaking for myself now - I lost only a couple of family members when I left. But I lost all that I believed in for 40 years. The exit has left me without shared history. Except on forums like this one, or in the company of those who were part of the organization while I was, everything that made me what I am, is just an odd history that means nothing to them. I am building a 'new history' in the past 4 years or so, and will sometime in the future have 'old times' to talk about with others I have come to know since then. But for the rest of my life there will be a large hole in my historical perspective. Marriages, births, deaths, conventions, field service, illnesses. I shared these with a group of people that I considered in the largest sense of the word , my 'brothers', mi amigos.

    Mostly, I come here now to see if others can be helped by a kind word or encouragement. I understand the pain they have. I had it too. That pain does not often revisit me now - time heals most wounds. But from time to time, I need to know that others understand my perspective also. I rarely debate doctrine, for I consider it of little personal interest at this point in my life. But new developments in the fight against cults in general or Jehovah's witnesses in particular are of great importance to me. I want to watch the Tower fall in my lifetime, though I doubt it will happen.

    Jeff

  • Gregor
    Gregor

    Jeff, your last post is very eloquent. You have put into words, I think, the essense of why most of us come here. Those who have questioned whether this is healthy or who ask why we don't just get on with our lives, etc. tend to come across as thinly disguised trolls.

  • AK - Jeff
    AK - Jeff

    Thank you, Gregor.

    Jeff

  • CommonBondTim
    CommonBondTim

    Just as we can't change the color of our skin or where we grew up we can't change the religious upbringing we had. I consider my Witness years as my religious heritage. Not all pretty - not all bad. There's a poem by Tennyson that I love and feel sums up my life so far:

    I am a part of all that I have met...

    Tho' much is taken, much abides...

    That which we are, we are-

    One equal temper of heroic heart...

    To strive, to seek, to find and not to yield.

    I have been out of the Organization for over 10 years, never joined another church, yet have found peace with God. I truly get excited meeting former JW's. When you put many years into something of course it is going to be hard to let go. Personally I feel pretending it never happened is not the way to deal with the experience. I miss many of the brothers and sisters whom I truly considered friends and I miss the close relationship I once had with my Witness family. I think this forum is a wonderful way to talk about the good and bad about having been a JW.

  • sass_my_frass
    sass_my_frass

    This comes up every month, I'm sure of it. What's your friend done that I can't do? That's what I want to know - his secret. If I could stop missing my family, and I didn't still feel hurt at their rejection, and I was confident that I could get through a week without wanting to sit in a ball on the floor and cry, I might feel like I don't need to come here and talk about it. I guess I'm just a big lame-o.

  • wednesday
    wednesday
    I think some get sidetracked in their personal healing process by reading and rereading the accounts here. Like a wound under water, it will never heal and there is nothing to stop the flow.

    Yes , it is very hard to read about abuse and not have anger well up inside. it is sort of like a wound that you keep picking at and it won't heal.

    You never know who you will help. The night I posted the link to the professional abuse site, someone felt overwhelmed with gratitude .It was just what they needed. Sometimes someone says just the thing to help me gain yet another prospective on my experience with jws. That is why I stay.

    weds

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