Dare a married guy meet up with his teenage infatuation? HELP! (page 4)

Vernon Williams

I am holding a stick you dynamite....should I lite the fuse and just watch it burn?

V

John Doe

I still say go and bring the wife--there's always the chance of a 3 way. ;-)

delilah

If you do go to meet her, take your wife with you. Is she even agreeable to this?

You just may find, that the "teenage crush", is nothing like she was back then. You may be glad you are married to your wife.

Thanks for your comments and private messages. Can't begin to tell you how my easy, day to day life has been churned up. I've never felt temptation like this, thought I was better than that. Damn! Am I just another pathetic 44 year old going through a mid-life crisis?! I think going to see this woman would be the stupidest thing I've ever done . . . . but must I wind up a faithful old man who never did anything stupid? Now she's offered me her phone number. God, I want to see her.

sweetstuff

Thanks for your comments and private messages. Can't begin to tell you how my easy, day to day life has been churned up. I've never felt temptation like this, thought I was better than that. Damn! Am I just another pathetic 44 year old going through a mid-life crisis?! I think going to see this woman would be the stupidest thing I've ever done . . . . but must I wind up a faithful old man who never did anything stupid? Now she's offered me her phone number. God, I want to see her.

Umm ok the cat's really outta the bag now, you are tempted, you really want to see her and you refer to being faithful as "winding up a faithful old man who never did anything stupid". You need to wake up and shake your head. You are not that happy in your marriage, otherwise, these thoughts wouldn't even been entering your mind. You feel you have missed out on something, that part is obvious. The question is, are you prepared to deal with the fall out of acting on your impulse to meet her? What if you do meet her and the sparks fly and you fall into bed with her? Have you thought about the pain you will be inflicting on your wife? Your children? The loss of respect your children will no doubt feel towards you if you do make a stupid mistake?

I would suggest that not only do you NOT meet with her, you get some marriage counselling and figure out if you are staying in your marriage for the right reasons and if you are truly happy with your situation. Don't start something new until you end or fix your current situation. It's unfair to all involved. I can tell you personally, you may well live to regret this decision. My ex-husband gave into temptation with another woman, me being his one and only lover, married young, etc. When I kicked his arse to the curb, he sure regretted it then, still does. Word to the wise, be careful what you wish for.

Lady Liberty

Dear Ayles...,

I haven't had time to read everyones replys to you, so sorry if this has been already said. Does this woman know you are married? Yet does she still trying to give you her phone number and hook up with you?? If this is the case BEWARE! Think beyond the obvious for a moment.

Ok..let's just say you meet with her and through a series of events decide life with her must be better then the wife you are currently married to. What would make you think that she wouldn't tire of you in time and chase another married man? Break your heart and leave you just the way you left your wife hanging?

This exact thing happened to my ex brother in law!! Fortunately for my sister, she moved on and found another man, but her ex husband is now all alone, sad and miserable because his idea of what life would be like with someone else fell quite short of his expectations! Now my sister has someone to grow old with and he doesn't.

My ex brother in law was dumped after 2 years of being with this other woman that he left my sister for. And guess what, this woman ended up cheating on him with another married man. Sometimes people only like the challenge or excitement of chasing married people. Then once they have conquered them and the excitement is gone they look for someone else to conquer. When he was dumped flat on his butt he called my sister and apologised for what he had done to her years earlier, as he explained he know knows the pain he must have caused her.

He has been miserably single for many years now after deciding to leave his wife for someone who he had built in his mind what life would be like. It was a high price to pay, he has two children who he left when he left my sister. Now after things have all washed up, after 6 years, he is the sad miserable soul, who you can see in his eyes everytime we drop off the kids to his house how he looks at my sister wishing they were still together.

So..my friend..think long and hard about what you are contimplating starting. Apparently if this woman knows you are married she has no respect for you or the one you have loved enough to marry. And keep in mind too, that life changes people, she is not the same person that you knew. You could be dreaming about the what ifs about a person who physically is the same but mentally and morally etc, may not be the person you have built her in your mind but is based off a old memory.

PLEASE think hard about what you are entertaining..sounds like you have alot to lose if you take this gamble.

Sincerely,

Lady Liberty

journey-on

but must I wind up a faithful old man who never did anything stupid?

You wanna do somethin' stupid? Go buy a motorcycle....leave the chicky-poo alone!

eclipse

Here is my two cents.

I'm going to come at this situation from a different angle.

I am putting myself in your wife's shoes.

I am pretending that I am your wife, and you told me that you wanted to meet this past crush. What would I do?

Well, I would want you to meet her. I would want to be there and meet her too.

She's a part of your past, and that's what helped made you who you are.

It's part of the husband that I love.

So I support you meeting her, especially if it's going to eat you up inside, and she will be the only thing on your mind!

I would rather you get this out of your system.

I would let the chips fall where they may.

Would you swoon over her? Maybe....would you find her more attractive (physically or personality-wise) than me? Maybe.

Am I afraid?

It depends on how much trust you and I have with one another. I trust with a giving spirit, not blindly.

If you have made me feel secure and loved in our marriage, then I have no reason to feel scared because of this other woman.

But if you are not happy with me, then perhaps she is what you want and need.

I am independent enough to let you live your life, I really just want you to be happy.

I am a firm believer in the adage that

If you let something go, and it returns to you, it was truly yours.

If it does not, it was never yours in the first place.

I'm sure most would disagree with me, and I understand. This is just my perspective as a woman/wife..

I will never hang on to a man who does not want me in return. Just my feelings on that matter.

purplesofa

I moved away from a lover some years ago. We were in a sorted relationship.......ok it was an affair. I moved 1200 miles away from him to not be tempted any longer. I wanted to come back to the truth!

He called me shortly after I moved away and was coming to the state I was in for an event. I was focused on what I was doing then, working, raising my kids. and I told him NO, I would not meet him.

It was very tempting, but I knew it would not lead anywhere. Over the years I have wanted to meet and talk to him many many times, to see how he was doing, catch up.

He is a person I loved very much at one time.

Last week I had an occasion to speak with him again. Something unavoidable, it was business.

We were not long in the conversation, it was going well. And he said a few things to draw up some old caring feelings.

I was surprised as I thought that could not be possible. That sweet, vulnerable naive, giggly girl came out to play.

I cannot meet him, it is flirting with danger. The danger of my well being and emotions.

That is what I think you need to think about. And only you know, from looking deep inside you and assessing your life and situation, can you truthfully answer that.

I was glad to know I was still alive enough inside to be sweet and vulnerable naive giggly, even desirable, but it cant be with him.

Good Luck

I am not here to judge, our individual journeys are personal and unique

purps

edited to add: Don't be embarrassed at the attraction, you are human, its normal.

Dare a married guy meet up with his teenage infatuation? HELP!

MsMcDucket

Vernon Williams

John Doe

delilah

aylesbury_lad

sweetstuff

Lady Liberty

journey-on

eclipse

purplesofa

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