you are like all us guys, we want all the women!!!!!!!!!!!!!
big d
Dare a married guy meet up with his teenage infatuation? HELP!
by aylesbury_lad 65 Replies latest social relationships
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aylesbury_lad
Let me make this clear. This is NOT about sex. Frankly I couldn't give a shit if you believe me or not but it's the truth.
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Abandoned
I couldn't believe it when I saw her picture. We've exchanged a few emails and I told her about the ridiculous crush I had on her back in the early 80's. We've both moved on of course and there is no way I'd risk my marriage for some vain, ego trip to the past.
No offense dude, but I don't believe you. You were sending out feelers. I think you're looking for justification for doing what you already want to do, hook up with her.
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cognizant dissident
Wow Eclipse.. you are one evolved, secure woman!
I actually agree with you in some respect. I try to picture myself as the wife. Hmm.. what 's the only thing worse than having your husband meet up with his old crush and dump you for her? How about having him live with you for the next 20 years, knowing he wishes he had met with his high school crush and had a life with her... I think I would hate that even more. Call me proud.
I would suggest meeting up with her with the wife. Coffee or lunch. Pulblic place. Nothing romantic. Chances are, reality will put any old feelings to rest. If your feelings only increase, then I suggest you get thee to marriage counseling and work out whether your issues are mid-life crisis (looks like it to me, since you no longer really know this other woman you are projecting major fantasies on to her) or whether your issues are with your marriage itself. If this other woman was 100 percent out of the picture (dead?) would you still want to stay in your marriage or would you be dreaming of getting out with someone else? Decide first whether you want to be in the marriage, whether this other woman is in the picture or not. Then decide if you want the other woman. First things first.
Cog
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sandy
I didn't read all posts so here is my opinion. Only meet her w/ your wife if you are going to meet her at all. I'm all for meeting up with old friends who've left the org. Just don't put yourself in situations that could have the potential to hurt your wife.
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momzcrazy
I haven't read all the posts but...Have you ever thought that one or both of you may be disappointed if you met face to face? The memories are not likely to match up to reality and age.
Go to a meetup, take your wife who gave you kids and many years, and proudly introduce your past and present to each other. Hold your wife's hand and share a smile and small kiss every now and then. You have given each other many years and memories. They are worth more than anything your past could conjer up. And you could ruin it all in minutes. A whole life GONE. All to satisfy curiosity over a past crush.
Grow up. Take your wife to dinner and make sweet love by candlelight. Remember that what is NOW is what is important.
momzcrazy
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R.Crusoe
It depends on the relationship you have with your wife!
I'd hate your wife to be hurt and/or feel destroyed over this but at the same time I know I've given toooo much of myself to others who dont give a rats about my feelings and quality of life. Right now if my heart said go and so did the other I would be hard pressed not to but I am unattached and kids all grown up and left so your considerations are greater!
It's a funny world!
We grow up spending a whole life in religion that later we totally change tack on yet when the same happens with a partner it's complicated and some criminalise the idea! Basically I say do your thing with what all your emotion and reason commands but take the pain if it comes as well as the pleasure. Getting screwed up too much in everyone elses opinions is like living someone elses life and things tend to go from bad to worse anyhow! You sound to me like maybe you want out of your marriage!
Some kids would rather be with parents some of the time who are happy than with both parents all of the time who are unhappy!
The equation is yours to resolve one way or the other! Life is choices and regrets. I have so many regrets it *&$ses me off and nobody feels I've been worth the sacrifices I feel I've made - in fact quite the reverse! Go figure!!
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moshe
Asking for our opinion tells me all I need to know. Be honest with yourself the next time you look into the mirror.
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FlyingHighNow
Dude, you're worried enough about this to make a thread. You know you're thinking with you pantz. Take your wife to meet her and keep the wife on your arm. That doesn't sound good? Then your intentions are not respectable. And you know this.
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R.Crusoe
Remember you're the judge of what repectable is! It's your heart and your life and you only got one shot!
The number of females I talked to who think of themselves as naieve and respectable who've had like 25 partners and give big mouthy stuff to folks who had numero uno. You wouldn't believe it!!
Remember the personality types - some judge and justify - judge others and justify any stuff they pull!
If you are an empath I fully understand you - its like you don't want to hurt anyone and go a whole life doing things for others you get involved with for reasons of being tooo willing to please and always sacrifice what you've felt at heart for the sake of others who demand your time so they can go get a life and play with the moon!
Work it out for yourself but whatever you do start to feel and think calmly. There is not even any need to talk of sex even if you feel it. Just get to know someone over time will gradually tell you things.
It's like everyone thinks our life belongs to someone else like they own our soul and have a right to it!
If I was younger I'd be going skyclad under a full moon with a circle of lovelies and male sure when I was this age I had at least one memory that stuck!!!
What can I say to someone I don't fully understand or know their situation? You are the best judge of what your heart desires! I would hate to be with a woman who would prefer to be with another man!! I despise sympathy to high heaven! I want genuine feeling or nothing!! I despise liars of emotion who pretend for some advice written on an archaelogical find!
Religion takes our heart out of our soul and plays ball with it!
A life without religion could have been so different and so less painful!
But only you know your place so take your time and feel the moments! we're talkin people here - not some extra terrestrials!