Hi! I am new here and I joined honestly to collect information to understand something a little better. My boyfriend, well-now kinda boyfriend (were at a weird place) is a Jehovah's Witness and I am not. He knows this. He waited a little "far" into our relationship to tell me he was, which created a mess, honestly an emotional dyfunctional mess. He was always a little shady from the beginning with tons of secrets no one understood and when this came out it explained everything but also tore a lot of things apart.
1. Is he allowed to be dating me?
2. Is he really never allowed to marry me unless I convert?
3. Will his faily disown him if they find out about me?
I ask these things because I don't want to be with someone I will forever "stand still" with. What I mean is, were boyfriend and girlfriend and none of his family know about me, and I am aware of this and at the same time am aware that he plans to never tell them about me either-- which okay, whatever I hate meeting parents anyways. I never honestly want to be married and I already have a kid from a previous relationship, so I really don't wanrt anymore, I'm good with one. What I am saying is, if we stayed together I would want to move in with him, but is that allowed? Don't get me wrong, if he asked, I would marry him. But... I will never, ever convert and he knows this.
Truth is, what were arguing about is "changing" and how neither of us are going to, but what he doesn't understand is that I do not want him to change. I love him for who he is religion included, before I knew he was a Jehovah's Witness I loved him, and that didn't change anything, so why wouldn't I still love him? He needs to realize that this is not about changing one of us. He's never asked me to convert I think he's just hoping I will "naturally want to on my own" because his family are serious religious fanaticals in their religion. I mean for goodness sakes his mom holds the "Studies" at their house-- which proves so right there.
It's weird. I have to wonder how commited he is to his religion based on the fact that
1. He did date me, when he knows he is not suppose to, and 2. He has slept with me
and 3. He's been with a NON-JW before.
I honestly believe he struggles between his religion and how he feels about me... I really do. I mean he leads a double life as far as his family is concerned when it comes to not knowing about me at all.
If you have any information and can post religious scripture to back it up and better explain it to me I would really appreciate it. I would really like to make this work with him. I know it's going to be so super-hard and I totally understand the long-haul involved... I just believe that love overcomes all obsticals.
First things First though... I kinda have to fix things with him because I kinda ripped him apart the other day for his religion... and I totally regret it. Wish me luck.