I think you answered your own question...that's what I'd of said
Is it POOR PARENTING to raise a child into a religious faith?
by nicolaou 73 Replies latest social family
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VoidEater
Giving a child only way to believe in things is poor parenting. They will grow up in an ever-expanding and -changing world, and if all they know is one religion, one worldview, one way to think about God, they will not succeed. They will be as impaired as if you have tied one of their arms down their entire life.
I was always told - even in the Truth - there are many ways people think about this. Some people think this way, some think that way. We [my parents] believe this way, and this is why.
Maybe my parents weren't good JWs - but I have never been shocked, stunned or stuck by other peoples' beliefs, and have always had an empathy for other people because of this.
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flipper
NIC- A very good topic! I feel you hit it on the head as Scully said in teaching children how to think, not what to think! Whether religious or atheist, I feel we all have the chance to teach our children good social skills, emotional skills, and educational skills to live as responsible adults in this world . I don't hold it against anybody if they are religious, however if the edicts of the religion become more important than being a good person , and that is taught to the children, as Jehovah's Witnesses teach, I think it is a negative thing for our children. So now I've circled the wagon with my comment, yes, religion can influence our kids for bad , and be the result of poor parenting, but it depends on the control allowed of the children by the religion and the parents ! Peace out, Mr. Flipper
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helncon
If it all that you know.
For me its more of teaching my children in everything but the most important thing if for them to know from good and bad and right from wrong.
Helen
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nicolaou
the most important thing [is] for them to know..good and bad and right from wrong
How do you decide what is good and bad, right or wrong? By being told? Almost all religions teach that homesexuality is bad and wrong. Is it? Moral values - not causing harm, taking care of the weak and vulnerable, respecting the elderly are much more valuable than giving a child a list of rights and wrongs.
The Ten Commandments have never worked.
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Mary
I don't think that raising a child in a religious home is detremental to their emotional health at all, unless of course, the child is being raised in a cult. I know many happy, well adjusted children that are raised in religious homes, just as I know many happy, well adjusted children that are raised in non-religious homes. I don't think "poor parenting" can be defined by one or the other. Poor parenting means being either neglectful or abusive, not teaching your children anything useful or preparing them for life. It means never teaching them about money, responsibility, love, relationships, self respect, or to plan for the future. You can get poor parents who are religious or non-religious just as there are good parents in both camps too.
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DJK
Oh I don't know about that, let's not get too unemotional about it. Rational thinking is one thing but these little ankle-biters grow up to be the darling little wallet emptiers we adore so much.
I love my darling wallet emptiers and they grew up better than I did, lovable and likable because they were not brought up in a religion that expects meeting attendance, field service, bible study, talks on a platform, bowing to the abuse of school classmates and no association with anyone who is not part of their religion.
My darlings have grown up to be better individuals than I because they were not raised as Jehovah's Witnesses and they did not have a bible crammed down their throat.
Children will learn what they live. At some point in their young live's they may decide they don't like it and if you continue to force it on them you may lose them, possibly forever. This is not an opinion. This I have learned from experience, my best teacher.
DJK
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nicolaou
Mary: Poor parenting means being either neglectful or abusive
Surely raising your child to be a Catholic or Mormon or Hindu or Atheist is being neglectful. There is a whole world full of different ideas and philosophies, putting your child into a theological or ideological straightjacket might, I contend, be abusive in that it stunts their personal development and outlook.
Let them grow.
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BurnTheShips
Depends on how it is done, but studies show it is very positive:
Study: Religion is Good for Kids
By Melinda Wenner, Special to LiveScience
posted: 24 April 2007 09:39 am ET
Kids with religious parents are better behaved and adjusted than other children, according to a new study that is the first to look at the effects of religion on young child development.
The conflict that arises when parents regularly argue over their faith at home, however, has the opposite effect.
John Bartkowski, a Mississippi State University sociologist and his colleagues asked the parents and teachers of more than 16,000 kids, most of them first-graders, to rate how much self control they believed the kids had, how often they exhibited poor or unhappy behavior and how well they respected and worked with their peers.
The researchers compared these scores to how frequently the children’s parents said they attended worship services, talked about religion with their child and argued abut religion in the home.
The kids whose parents regularly attended religious services—especially when both parents did so frequently—and talked with their kids about religion were rated by both parents and teachers as having better self-control, social skills and approaches to learning than kids with non-religious parents.
But when parents argued frequently about religion, the children were more likely to have problems. “Religion can hurt if faith is a source of conflict or tension in the family,” Bartkowski noted.
Why so good?
Bartkowski thinks religion can be good for kids for three reasons. First, religious networks provide social support to parents, he said, and this can improve their parenting skills. Children who are brought into such networks and hear parental messages reinforced by other adults may also “take more to heart the messages that they get in the home,” he said.
Secondly, the types of values and norms that circulate in religious congregations tend to be self-sacrificing and pro-family, Bartkowski told LiveScience. These “could be very, very important in shaping how parents relate to their kids, and then how children develop in response,” he said.
Finally, religious organizations imbue parenting with sacred meaning and significance, he said.
University of Virginia sociologist W. Bradford Wilcox, who was not involved in the study, agrees. At least for the most religious parents, “getting their kids into heaven is more important than getting their kids into Harvard,” Wilcox said.
But as for why religious organizations might provide more of a boost to family life than secular organizations designed to do the same thing, that’s still somewhat of a mystery, said Annette Mahoney, a psychologist at Bowling Green State University in Ohio, also not involved in the research. Mahoney wondered: “Is there anything about religion and spirituality that sets it apart?”
Unanswered questions
Bartkowski points out that one limitation of his study, to be published in the journal Social Science Research, is that it did not compare how denominations differed with regards to their effects on kids.
“We really don’t know if conservative Protestant kids are behaving better than Catholic kids or behaving better than mainline Protestant kids or Jewish kids,” he said.
It’s also possible that the correlation between religion and child development is the other way around, he said. In other words, instead of religion having a positive effect on youth, maybe the parents of only the best behaved children feel comfortable in a religious congregation.
“There are certain expectations about children’s behavior within a religious context, particularly within religious worship services,” he said. These expectations might frustrate parents, he said, and make congregational worship “a less viable option if they feel their kids are really poorly behaved.”
http://www.livescience.com/health/070424_religion_kids.html
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BurnTheShips
Here is another good one: