are we inactive or what?

by inactive? 252 Replies latest watchtower beliefs

• 

  AnneB

  I believe you. There are too many similarities between what's happening to you and what happened in my family for me to disbelieve. I haven't posted anything about my history because it's as bizarre as what is being told in this thread and truthfully I didn't think I could deal with the nay-sayers.

  I think you hit it right here, inactive:

  we were told that night it would be announced that we were volunarily stepping down as pioneer.

  Now why would the elders want it to appear that you were volunteering? Because they don't want dissention in the congregation! That's the key to the whole thing. They can't kick you out but if it looks like you're going voluntarily then you aren't a good example any more, are you? As good as you were they were/are afraid that others will start to question, start to examine your situation.

  You probably don't know the waves you've caused just by being "good Christians". Now you have to be weeded out, but carefully, so you don't suspect it's happening.

  The organization looks after itself, not after you, the publisher. Maybe I shouldn't say that, maybe it's dumping too much information on you at one time and will start you thinking that this board is made up of gut-level WT/Jehovah haters but that's not the case; it's just that I've learned over time...and with much pain.

  As far as writing to the Society, please be aware that your letter will be forwarded to your local elders. "Brooklyn" doesn't handle local matters, they bounce them right back. Anyone can write to them though, and anyone can call; they will listen but won't tell you anything definitive, just bounce it back to the locals again.

  It feels odd saying even this much. I could say a lot more but again, I haven't told my story and I don't think I'm up to it today. I only mention mine because it resonates with the story you tell. There may be gaps in what you say but I think it's because you don't know yourself what's missing. If you did you wouldn't need to post here, you'd already know the answers.

  Shaken to read your experience!

  Anne
• 

  Bobbi

  After so much time and pain, some of the details may be lost or blurred. Inactive may not know herself what really happened.
  She mentioned death of a family member and a previously "obedient" daughter going off the rails. Pile on harrassement and
  hatred from her "spiritual" family, no wonder things seem odd at times.
  
  You can only mistreat an animal so long before it leaves or bites you. She put up with the typical abuse (We have all felt
  one degree or another) until she couldn't stand it anymore.
  
  Her husband may be unwilling to face the facts of his life, loathe to leave the only security he knew. Sound familiar?
  
  Inactive is here trying to make sense of her life. Let's help. She is alone in this fight. How many people came to this site
  looking for help, towing family pressure, spouses who oppose or ill health caused by the society?
  
  If we get tricked again at least it is our choice. I personally believe her.
  
  She could have been lurking for sometime and picked up some of our lingo. I know it didn't take me long to start using it.
  I have used the phrase "good little JW" myself recently and Para laughed about me saying stuff like that.
  
  Don't make pull a Cranky Bobbi.
  
  Bobbi
• 

  Gill

  JWs live in a parallel universe and some more than others.

  It's hardly surprising that her story sounds odd in some ways to those of us who have been 'out' for a while or who were in relatively 'normal' congregations!

  But I promise you, there are some pretty warped and horrendous goings on in some very bizarre congregations! It's all a matter of perception and intelligence.

  I'm willing to give Inactive the benefit of the doubt....after all I have heard and even experienced worse from some congs we have been in!

  Let's not be too hasty to judge here.
• 

  inactive?

  Anne, thank you for believing me. I am finding that I cannot handle the naysayers either. I am so raw over this that I am really feeling hurt by some in here. I also am not sure why I ignited such hostility in here, i thought theses were people who for some reason got treated badly by 'the organization' and could talk to me about my experience. I know I am at a crossroads and it is really scary. Now I am thinking about turning and running back, and got told i am 'stringing people along". I am upset and afraid and trying to convey my feelings as best as i can here. But Anne, it never occured to me that by what they say is 'voluntarily' stopping pioneering that we look like we were guilty of something and therefore stepping down,,, I do not know why i did not see that, but I was so shook up about my daughter being disfellowshipped and my dad's recent death,, i still cannot believe i did not see that. I now see by being what i called 'good little JW's" that caused waves because we were acting like we did not do anything,,, we did not, but it looks like we did because we 'stepped down'.... why did i not see this before?? It is true Anne, I do not know what else is missing and that is why i posted here to try to find the answers. So the elders are covering their butts? Am I that naive? Maybe OnTheWayOut is right and the elders do think we are crazy because they expected us to run, when instead we tried to remain loyal in spite of adversity. I am unsure what to think now, but you opened up something for me Anne that i guess no one else in here could.. all i saw was nastiness, and i have already had my fill of that from ones who are supposed to love me.
• 

  mrsjones5

  Let's not be too hasty to judge here.

  I agree, it's getting too much like a kingdom hall here - you know what I mean?
• 

  Gopher

  I"ll just say one last thing here...

  Inactive came here with a story of being rebuffed by the JW's, the main social group in her family's life. A couple details were different from what we would usually see -- mainly the part about being asked to clean but not being allowed to turn in service time. Unusual? Yes. Impossible? No.

  For all who called "troll" on this poster, I ask -- what harm or threat did this poster bring to you? She Isn't automatically a troll just because something about her post reminds you of Trevor.

  On the other hand, what possible harm could have been done to her on this thread? It is entirely possible that her details are true, and that she was looking for understanding here. In such a case, you who were eager to jump to conclusions here may have done her some very real harm. A place like this can be and has been a lifeline for some people. Think of Awake & Watching from Ohio, as a very recent example. Why push someone away when they may have a million thoughts swirling in their mind, and need some support?

  If someone is blatantly over the top and trying to bait us, then I could see us calling "troll" (especially if they're pro-JW). This poster didn't cross into that territory.
• 

  inactive?

  Bobbi, thank you for the kind words, I read a few threads on this web site, and thought I could get a little empathy, advice, sympathy, ect... because it sounded like so many in here had some unbelievable experiences themselves. As a matter of fact, I would not believe some of what I have read if i had not been going thru this myself. That is why I am here, I found I am not alone, or I thought I did. I am unsure on what about my so called 'lingo' is so odd. Witnesses here (Colorado Springs) say those things, especially those with internet experience, which I have very little of. As for the Kingdom Hall cleaning, I am fed up with that too, my husband hangs on to it as our last priviledge, but I think it is ,, well using us. Our circuit seems to be in need of change, I noticed a lot of what I thought was odd things but wrote it off until this all happened to us. I have not gone into the odd things I noticed because this thread is specificaly about my problem, but perhaps I should post on a thread about the other stuff. I tried to fill in as much as possible on the first post and have tried to answer questions and stay on subject, and was accused of with holding information. Then I am slammed in a PM for saying where I am from, most profiles here say where you are from, and I was told to say where I am from to be checked on to make sure I was not this trevor thing. Excuse me for saying, but some seem so bitter by their experiences they can only believe in what they say happened... but really, why is it possible that women are bleeding to death in childbirth, and pedaphiles are rampant and protected by elders, but my story is just too outrageous to be true,, sounds pretty tame in some respects compared what some go thru, even the stories of what happened to those at Bethel,, just horrendous, but not questioned or scrutinized like this has been. Yeah, I am very touchy, and very sensitive, and very raw about what I have been going thru, because frankly, by printing it here, I have tried to pull my head out of the sand to see what is really going on. Jehovah does not want it to be like this, as for what the elders will or will not allow,,, maybe that is the problem,,, it should be what Jehovah will or will not allow... and He gave us the rule book for that,, and it is the Bible. I still believe that,, but my faith has been shaken by the deeds of men, and after years of dedication, it is hard to cross this road, but my emotional state and my declining health as a result cannot take much more. Jehovah does not allow us more than we can handle and He provides the way out.. I am having a hard time seeing the way out... so I am searching,, and if some of you call that "trolling" so be it,, I am sincere in my efforts and in my pain and am tired of being kicked around.
• 

  Rosalee

  inactive? ... why would you ask admitted apostates for help with JW problems????
• 

  inactive?

  Rosalee i was under impression all were welcome here, and there are witnesses here as well, and i thought some who had been thru difficulties with similarties to mine could provide some insight, like i said, i want to talk to someone.
• 

  Rosalee

  Well ... I'm here ... not too sure about the welcome though.

  I just find your story TOO hard to believe.

  Why on earth would you clean the bathrooms of people who do not accept you??

  Some self respect is in order ... that's why I find this whole story beyond belief.

  AND no congregation I know of would allow you to clean the hall if you are not an accepted member.

  It does not compute ;)