by oompa 47 Replies latest jw friends
Is anybody else effectivly faded in full, but still goes once in awhile to meetings for non-spiritual meetings? I know I could not do bookstudy as long as CLIMAX is the topic....can't believe I said that!.....oompa
I have but I am very insane because of it! I would seek a second opinion or expose this doctor to the witness rule book. I would point out that though witnesses have lightened up on visiting shrinks it is still frowned on and you might be forced to cease seeing him because of it.
Going: Does he mean to stop posting on JWD? ...........No he means to stop trying so hard with my JW fam and friends....I have driven them all nuts......oompa
This is one of those cases where the mental patient is the sane one and everyone else are the nuts.
Hey Oompa,
I'd just like to echo some of the comments here regarding starting to build a life outside of the JW group. Going back in for social reasons doesn't sound like a great fit for you.
If you are a strong enough person internally you may be able to pull it off temporarily, but it is not for everyone. The urge to shout bull*&%t from you chair may just be too overpowering.
If you don't think you can build a support group from the "outside world" that easily for whatever reason, then you can always try to pull a few borderline JWs that you like, out with you. That couple who attend only a couple times a month sound like a worthy target. Look around - there are others you could get to as well. Presto, instant support group.
Best of luck to you, my friend! Either way - I know you are going to get through all of this just fine.
Peace.
The Oracle
Oompa: the jw's got you just were they want you. your love sick, and the only way to get back love is going to the hall... they got you over a barrell, your starting to break. so maybe just a few meetings a month will not hurt.? they got you in the plams of thier hands. go back and you will be more sorry than you are now, in a few months. all your hard work to get out and now you may go back? . they will play you like a puppet. stay strong and keep away from the jw's. just my 2 cents. john
"but that the word "bull$hit" would be on the tip of my tounge at all times if I have to attend anymore." LOL - same here. I made the compromise of stopping attendance entirely, even if it meant no longer hanging out with JW friends. I get lonely sometimes, but with work, grad school, and home life its not a big deal.
It may be that the therapist thinks that you're a bit too obsessive over the whole thing. By attending a "few" meetings and trying to be social with JWs it might help you to avoid being so critical of them all the time.
They may be thinking in normal relationship terms...by your taking an interest in your wife's interests, to a point, it can build a stronger relationship. One doesn't have to abandon their self found belief system away from the former group think, but to be a little open minded to your wife's position and beliefs might help you to be less critical, more accepting of her and her position thus strengthening (over time) your relationship with her.
If you're not willing to do that, then divorce may be your only way out of having JWism part of your everyday life.
I'm not saying that I would agree with such a suggestion, but I can see someone saying that. Even physciatrists and threapists who may understand the dynamics of cults/control groups better than the common layman still do not know what it's like to have actually lived in one and escaped.
I do think that as long as family members don't continually throw JWism in my face and try to guilt me or force me back to meetings, then I'll leave them alone to believe in it as they wish. I don't look for every oppurtunity to show them up or prove them wrong. I know what I know and I know that they're wrong, but I can't change them if they don't wanna change so I just work on myself and leave them to their own devices.
ANd how's that working out for ya? How many family members that you love have now left the mindcontroling cult? None, Right? WHen I made my stand some followed and some didn't, but I can tell you for a fact that none spoke out before me... when I did it some followed, it was easier for others when I said something. All I did was speak what many had been thinking. ANd doing nothing:? It ususally accomplishes just that.
Marriage is a financial arrangement to share assets and liabilities. If you dont have any assets to preserve or share you dont have much to work with. Thats the way I see it and have seen it with others. Love, lust only goes so far and only last so long. But assets if properly managed can be a nest of gold.
Dawg, I'm assuming that your comment was directed at me. If so...
ANd how's that working out for ya?
Quite well, thank you. They leave me alone and don't harrass me with coming back and I don't bother them. They have the right to believe as they wish afterall. You pointed out that this is a "mindcontrolling cult". If one is controlled by others to the point of not listening to anything negative about the religion, then you're wasting your breath trying to debate the issues. You have to wait for the oppurtune time to drop bits and pieces of info that hopefully will stick in their mind and create a paradox for their brain later on.
How many family members that you love have now left the mindcontroling cult? None, Right?
Actually one family member and a couple of friends from the hall have left. Nothing that I did by myself did the trick, but when the oppurtunity presented itself, I dropped hints and subtle comments that stuck and later own they remembered them and investigated it.
WHen I made my stand some followed and some didn't, but I can tell you for a fact that none spoke out before me... when I did it some followed, it was easier for others when I said something. All I did was speak what many had been thinking. ANd doing nothing:? It ususally accomplishes just that.
What works for one may not work for another. Knowing how defensive my family gets and how stubborn they can be, I know that it's better to tread lightly and take my pot shots when I can. I liken it to guerilla warfare. Hit and run. A full on frontal assualt does nothing. In between the oppurtunities to drop hints, I respect their right to believe as they wish and I don't harrass them about it. In return they have learned to be more respectful in return. I know that I can't "free" them all, so just having them accept me as I am is good enough.
Marriage is a financial arrangement to share assets and liabilities. If you dont have any assets to preserve or share you dont have much to work with. Thats the way I see it and have seen it with others. Love, lust only goes so far and only last so long. But assets if properly managed can be a nest of gold.
So, if you do have a certain amount of assets, you should put up and shut up for the sake of monetary security, versus your own personal happiness??? Love, lust only goes so far and only last so long, in SOME cases, not all. I have seen the kind of love that goes beyond what you describe, in action.
