Share your favorite silly/stoopid joke...

by Priest73 155 Replies latest social humour

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  bem

  Or this??

  Little Janice was not the best student in Sunday scool. Usually she slept through class. One day the teacher called on her while she was napping, “Tell me Janice, who created the universe?” When Janice didn’t stir, little Johnny, a boy seated in the chair behind her, took a pin and jabbed her in the rear.

  “God Almighty!” shouted Janice and the teacher said, “Very good” and Janice fell back asleep.

  A while later the teacher asked Janice, “Who is our Lord and Saviour.” But, Janice didn’t even stir from her slumber. Once again, Johnny came to the rescue and stuck her again.

  “Jesus Christ!” shouted Janice and the teacher said, “Very good,” and Janice fell back asleep.

  Then the teacher asked Janice a third question. “What did Eve say to Adam after she had her twenty-third child?” and again, Johnny jabbed her with the pin.

  This time Janice jumped up and shouted, “If you stick me with that thing one more time, I’ll break it in half and stick it up your a$$!”

  … the teacher fainted!
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  Abandoned

  Three newly married women are sitting around talking about their husbands. The first one says, "As a wedding gift, my husband bought me a new car."

  The third one says, "That's nice."

  The second one says, "As a wedding gift, my husband bought me a new house."

  The third one says, "That's nice."

  Then the first one asks the third one, "What did your husband get you."

  She responds, "My husband sent me to Charm School where I learned how to say that's nice instead of f*ck you."
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  Sad emo

  Two newlyweds are on their honeymoon sitting by the side of the hotel swimming pool.

  hubby gets up, climbs onto the diving board, jumps off and does a beautiful, perfect fancy dive into the pool. He keeps going back and doing more amazing twists and turns. Eventually he rejoins his wife at the poolside.

  "Those dives were amazing" she says "Where did you learn how to do those?"

  Hubby replies "Ah, I forgot to tell you, I was junior olympic diving champion"

  Next day, they're at the pool again and the wife decides to go for a swim. She swims length after length of the pool, backward and forward for an hour - non-stop.

  She eventually rejoins her husband at the poolside.

  "You're a very strong swimmer darling" he says to her "When did you learn that?"

  She replies "Oh sorry, I forgot to tell you - I used to be a prostitute in Venice."
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  MissingLink

  A man goes to the doctor complaining of a pain in his ass.

  Doctor has a look and says "I can see why it hurts, there's a lettuce leaf sticking out".

  The man replies "That's just the tip of the iceberg"
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  primitivegenius

  little johnny got a bicycle for his10th birthday party and the only thing his father had to say was............ dont you be useing that to ride up the road to that topless place............ inside you will see things you shouldnt see.......

  so a few months went by and johnny rode that bike all around the neighborhood............ and all his daddy said was........ dont you be useing that to ride up the road to that topless place.......... inside you will see things you shouldnt see...........

  well two months later.......... johnny was telling his friends............. i rode my bike all the way up the road to that topless place........................... and i saw things i shouldnt have....................... the little boys asked....... WHAT DID YOU SEE! WHAT DID YOU SEE!

  MY DADDY
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  MsMcDucket

  Man thinking to himself "I've got so many remote controls. I don't know if I'm turning on my wife or my car!"
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  Billy the Ex-Bethelite

  What's blue and bubbly and scratches on windows?

  A smurf in the microwave.

  Why was Michael Jackson loitering in the JC Penney store?

  He saw the signs saying that boy's pants were half-off.
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  Priest73

  If your wife is yelling at the front door and you dog is barking at the back door,
  who do you let in first?
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  Priest73

  Q: How do you make a Kleenex dance?
  
  A: Put a little boogie in it!
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  Priest73

  What do snowmen eat for breakfast?
  Snowflakes.