Does Debating Have to Be Abusive - To Be Effective ?

by flipper 143 Replies latest jw friends

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  Xena

  Coming in late on this one.

  I don't think debating has to be abusive to be effective. IMO once it reaches that point it's no longer debating it two people bashing each other over the head with their entrenched viewponts. Course I'm not gonna lie, I'm as guilty as the next person of being drawn into that kind of pissing match. All it did was make me feel bad, certainly didn't change my opinion or open my mind to any new ideas which for me is what debating is all about.

  Couple of things I've learned thru the years on discussion boards. State your views, be willing and able to back them up with facts, keep an open mind yourself to others viewpoints and show them the same respect you would like to get, be ready to walk away when you realize it's futile to continue the discussion. Oh and it's ok to say "Dang I was wrong".

  I generally tend to ignore people who talk trash to and/or about me. People who know me know the person I am. People who don't know me will either take the time to get to know me or think the worst of me based on something they read online, guess which person I care about. That said I do at times feel the need to confront people that I feel are abusing myself or others, everyone needs some type of accountablity and I pick my battles.
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  flipper

  XENA - I agree with you. you have good points
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  R.Crusoe

  Sometimes it's a remote control channel switching thing!

  Cosy chat show on channel 1 all the way to Madison Square Gardens channel 12 round knockout! with a few in between!

  Ladies know all about this!

  Cute hard working help with the house work hubby at home and leapord skin jockey body builders downtown nightlife. Each have there uses and even though one may prefer to be the other never let him know that's your type or else you lost a faithful and discreet slave!

  One is the impression you want to give others and the other is the impressions you want them to give you.

  Humans are chamellons deep down!!
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  trevor

  Like most people I think this board works perfectly well. No one is obliged to read or type a single word.

  
  It is through challenging each others beliefs and forcefully telling it like its, or how we think it is, that progress is made.
  I for one enjoy a good fight, battle of wits, or struggle. It is exciting and helps to shed pent up frustration.

  We don't come here just to massage each others belief system. We come here to test our own beliefs and views in the arena of debate.
  To the Death - and may the best man win. Of course wrestling with female posters is even more exciting!
• 

  flipper

  R>CRUSOE- I agree it's a channel switching thing. We have lots of threads and other subjects we can tune into on different threads !
  
  TREVOR- I think the board works well too. I agree that by challenging each others beliefs we can be up front and tell it like it is honestly. But don't have to force our views on others. Agree to disagree is my motto. If for some reason I don't agree - I have a right to express that in freedom - as do other posters on the board. But , if I do express my view, I will leave you or anybody else with their dignity intact
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  hillary_step

  Trevor,

  An excellent post with which I could not agree more.

  Like most people I think this board works perfectly well. No one is obliged to read or type a single word.

  This is why using the Board requires a certain level of maturity. As I have repeated ad nauseum, whether we are new here or experienced posters, we are just one click away from discomfort - if that is what we feel when we read or engage in heated debates.

  The threads that produce the most grammatical violence are the political threads, the occasional JWD apologist, or the science/evolution threads. If we do not want our little world shaken, then just do not click the thread title.

  Cheers - HS
• 

  coffee_black

  Xena,

  I think you said it brilliantly!

  Coffee
• 

  flipper

  COFFEE BLACK- I agree with you . Xena did express it well
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  mentalclearness

  I think for the most part the majority of posters debate in a mature matter. once in a while a topic might hit very close to home and some passionate views or some comments that are probably not within the normal character of the poster shows up. I have no problem with this, and I personally have experienced this. I think we all have.

  I do have a problem with a poster who´s insults and demeaning remarks are a character trait. It happens in all their posts. The funny thing is, in a debate when a person gets emotionally charged and starts spewing insults and the like they lose sooooooooooooo much credibility. They might have had valid points to begin with but in the end the way they express themselves takes center stage as opposed to the information they give.
• 

  hillary_step

  mentalclearness,

  I do have a problem with a poster who´s insults and demeaning remarks are a character trait. It happens in all their posts. The funny thing is, in a debate when a person gets emotionally charged and starts spewing insults and the like they lose sooooooooooooo much credibility. They might have had valid points to begin with but in the end the way they express themselves takes center stage as opposed to the information they give.

  Strangely enough this might be your experience, but this differs with others.

  One of the most effective, intelligent and hard-working anti WTS posters on this Board, and one whom numerous people on this and other Boards have directly attributed their exit from the Watchtower Society too, is AlanF.

  Now, AlanF as many of his 'enemies' will acknowledge found no difficulty in describing a 'moron' as a 'moron' when the person was writing like a 'moron'. Alan believed in the 'slap around the head' methodology of breaking a mindset, something that over the years he recognized worked to great effect. Many of us, whom Alan smacked around the ear, may not have enjoyed it at the time, but it did help us to grow up more quickly than cuddles and empowering negative intellectual behavior.

  Of course he became 'hated' by some posters whose nose he had bruised and who used every opportunity to undermine and provoke him because of this. I know Alan in real life and he is one of the most decent people I know. Kind, considerate, and smart as a whip. It is a fool who thinks that 'Jekyll and Hyde' is at play when they try to judge a character from an on-line debate, especially if it becomes bloody. It could be they that are missing a very important dimension themselves.

  As an aside, the only time when Cuddly people have no issue with name-calling of any sort, is when they are dealing with JW apologists, arguably the newest of the 'newbies'. Perhaps one of the Online Cuddly Club might explain this dichotony?

  HS