The end of marriage?

by BurnTheShips 64 Replies latest jw friends

R.Crusoe

When having intimate relations with a female, she gets a whole multitude of the mans DNA and he simply gets the satisfaction that she let him! And she thinks she is doing him a massive favour whilst she is really acting none too bothered unless he is worshipfully endowed.
And so is set the standard for his whole existence lest he has even more to give than she is used to in which case he becomes a living god!
So men are either disposeable or, if lucky, a god.
Now if he's a god he will be in so much demand it will be hard to choose in the stampede which one to marry!
And if not, then why marry and be held ransom as refuse, to be disposed of whenever god comes along and only usefully retained as free money, entertainment, happy families or whatever tickles her fancy ?
If a guy buckles down and works hois ass off till tired 24/7 whilst the woman looks after kids, she may well get bored and look for fun in the female liberated environment before her and stray anyhow! So males are waking up to this and realising being a commited father can well end with you being done over well and truly for busting your own soul for those who will dispose of you at the drop of a hat!!
This is why marriage is being questioned - the long term insincerity of trends and attitudes toward making each other feel like sex on legs and truly believing it to the point of a lifetimes chosen pathway! The eye to eye conviction and commitment to a life together for the sake of each others soulbond - a work in progress without wanting it to ever end! Such attributes are becoming very sparse and uncultivated in the present climate and environment, coupled with the awakening to a melting pot of thousands of years of religious distraction!
Imposition of any standards should be from the hearts of two people and absent dictatorial rulings expecting mind blanked observance. The trouble is, each gender are having models presented before them which all too frequently display danger signals as to the pitfalls of lifelong marriage - just like the WTS and shunning mulrkey.
Maybe this is why marriage is on the decrease - because people are choosing their own pathways! It's amazing how mant high society marriages have paid childcare and time apart and last due to the afordable freedoms they enjoy!
When a person enters marriage and all their sincerity is betrayed in various ways, how can they ever believe in it again absent serious reservations as to the dangers ahead? Humans are waking up to the possibility it may just ruin their life and not, as they used to be conditioned to think, be their destiny.
DaCheech

I know plenty of witness women here in jersey that do not want to work. most of these do not have children.
my friend K.S. was in one of these and his wife had sex with 3 guys in the span of 5 months! he got divorced and his bank account empty to a woman that
never earned a penny, stayed home, and he had to make her dinner, coffee and tea! for those 5 years, he could of went to a strip joint and it would be cheaper!
quietlyleaving

burn
Well hell, like I said, the law favors women. What's sweeping about that if it is accurate? What part of that doesn't make sense? How many men lose the right to be with their children and get billed for the pleasure? The socialist state has undercut the need for men by financing single motherhood. It incentivises the problems you yourself note. I worked in the public school system for 4 years here. The great majority of the problem children were not from traditional families. Care to address that instead of what you think my particular prejudices are?
I'm curious - what were some of the problems of those children from non traditional families?
diamondblue1974

Well hell, like I said, the law favors women.
I disagree and I am sure that there are numerous other academics, lawyers and commentators that would disagree too. The law has never since the history of man favoured women, in fact when you look at womens rights across the board they have had to fight for every semblence of equality there is. I agree that sometimes men do get a raw deal in family issues but largely this is not the case.
Well I am not talking about Genghis Khan spreading his seed across Eurasia centuries ago. I am talking about HERE and NOW. Men and women are not the same, whatever your unrealistic notions are. Our minds and bodies are different. Our reproductive roles are different. As for calling a spade a spade, I call them like I see them, and I think the same about men and their philanderings, as my own post history bears out.
Actually I was talking about here and now as well - it is socially acceptable for a man to go out of a weekend and spread his seed (for want of a better expression) but when a woman does the same she is regarded differently and is treated like a slut. Again I reiterate there is no excuse for promiscuity with any gender (and we appear to agree on this) but the disparity of treatment is disgusting in my view.
Whilst I accept the biological differences this is no reason for women to be treated differently societally.
I take issue with the fact that you appeared by your comments to make the whole breakdown of marriage a gender issue when it isnt about gender or legal rights at all.
All to many here seem to value their own sexual freedom and the right to indulge their animal passions over the duty to care for the results of those sexual unions-both men and women. Our children are the ones who are paying the price.
We appear to agree on the issue of childcare but I do take issue with the assumption that children are not adequately cared for in alternative relationships other than marriage. Regardless as to whether anyone chooses to marry we must all take responsibility for our sexual freedoms and the results of the same. I was born into a single parent family and I am largely successful and responsible - I know a number of other children born to single parents who have also faired well.
Also too, one of my friends has children from another relationship (a marriage) but they share residence equally - his children are well behaved, well mannered and this is despite (again for want of a better expression) custody being shared. Whilst children fair better when they are in stable families (marriage not being a prerequisite) this is not the only way in which children are best cared for.
You gotta be freaking kidding me. So why do people get married?
There are numerous reasons as to why people get married these days but the reasons behind such choices are not a gender issue and there are far more alternatives out there that suit the individuals concerned.
Gary
Sirona

I really hate that "why buy the cow" comment. I always have, it's so condescending. It sums up the entire worth of a woman, it's essentially like using the C word.
"Why buy the bull if it means you have to deal with all his shit?"
Exactly.
I'm far from confused, Burn. You've consistently made sexist comments on this thread. You have been shown that your views are flawed.
Now crawl under your rock- I'm sure the women in your life would be grateful if you did.
Sirona
R.Crusoe

This thread bears witness to why marriage is under or on the rocks!
Religious stereotyping for one respecting both sexes who were born to want sex and in an age where contraception lets them! The desire for more intense experience leads thousands of both sexes to foreign locations annually and leaves females branding men perverts or worse and males branding females sluts or words to that effect although one must concede that generally sexual vocabulary attached to males is far more debased than any attached to females. It is a gender war!
Females unhappy with roles within marriage toward children and raising them - wanting more of a personal life! Even giving all the chores to the kids to get it!
Males unhappy with the expectation placed on them to provide and deliver unexpected extras and take the heat if breakdown occurs by relinquishing rights to the children and income etc.
Effectively marriage has changed completely into a highly charged reaction which outsiders are all too ready to get in on the act of when problems arise!
It is no longer a partnership!
It is oftentimes a disagreeable arrangement where each agrees to marry for reasons they don't tell the other about which become all too evident when break up time comes along.
The sexes are being conditioned with different expectations of each other from infancy and around role models confusing all ideals.
It's becoming like two religions coming together - male and female! How can it succeed without lots of stressful change?
Temporary trial and error makes much more sense and is probably a more compassionate expectation on each other in the environment many of us are in!
momzcrazy

he got divorced and his bank account empty to a woman that
never earned a penny, stayed home, and he had to make her dinner, coffee and tea! for those 5 years, he could of went to a strip joint and it would be cheaper!
I haven't worked outside the home for 10 years. Before that there were times my income supported us, at times income from 3 different jobs. My husband was gone 300 days out of the year for 5 years. Now he is "home", but rarely home before 8 pm. Most times he is gone all night and shows up at 6 or 7 am. He is a pretty powerful man in his line of work. I don't know who or what he does while he is gone. But I do know what I am doing. I am home every day and night with our 3 kids, caring for our "showplace" house he wanted to build to show his position. I pay all the bills, care for the house and kids, and entertain his associates. For me marriage has become servitude. If was to work secularly in addition to everything else, I would be awake 24/7. Ever seen Sopranos? I'm Carmela. I ignore the women, the drinking and staying out all night.
It has become my job to care for my kids and my home. I wanted a degree and a snazy job, but that isn't what happened. So I perform my duties well. I resent the women who stay home and do nothing but screw the pool boy and drink cocktails.
I'm looking for a job, which will probably be no more than $12/hour because I have stayed home for so long. But I will do it anyway. My contribution to this marriage enabled my husband to rise to the position he is in now. So yes, when I file for divorce I am taking everything I can. After 16 years and 4 babies, doing everything for him and them, I think I have earned it. I will be working my ass off when I am on my own. But servitude is making me too sick and tired.
momz
BurnTheShips

Now crawl under your rock- I'm sure the women in your life would be grateful if you did.
I thought there could be a convo on this here without this kind of crap.
You do not know me, nor the women in my life, so stuff it. You are making it personal, the "cow" comment is an old meme and succintly explains part of the issue.
Burn
BurnTheShips

I haven't worked outside the home for 10 years. Before that there were times my income supported us, at times income from 3 different jobs. My husband was gone 300 days out of the year for 5 years. Now he is "home", but rarely home before 8 pm. Most times he is gone all night and shows up at 6 or 7 am. He is a pretty powerful man in his line of work. I don't know who or what he does while he is gone. But I do know what I am doing. I am home every day and night with our 3 kids, caring for our "showplace" house he wanted to build to show his position. I pay all the bills, care for the house and kids, and entertain his associates. For me marriage has become servitude. If was to work secularly in addition to everything else, I would be awake 24/7. Ever seen Sopranos? I'm Carmela. I ignore the women, the drinking and staying out all night.
It has become my job to care for my kids and my home. I wanted a degree and a snazy job, but that isn't what happened. So I perform my duties well. I resent the women who stay home and do nothing but screw the pool boy and drink cocktails.
I'm looking for a job, which will probably be no more than $12/hour because I have stayed home for so long. But I will do it anyway. My contribution to this marriage enabled my husband to rise to the position he is in now. So yes, when I file for divorce I am taking everything I can. After 16 years and 4 babies, doing everything for him and them, I think I have earned it. I will be working my ass off when I am on my own. But servitude is making me too sick and tired.
momz
Damn, that sucks Momz.
How old are your children?
Burn
R.Crusoe

Momz - in your situation I imagine your hubby , if you do split, would be more than respectful that you have helped him launch his own potential and income!
I think the law was meant to be fair in situations like yours!
As we know, the pool boy may come in handy to loosen the burden but the work and commitment should not be forgotten!
Work and commitment should always be acknowledged and fairly considered IMHO! It is proof of your soul being given to a situation, whether it gets broken or not!

The end of marriage?

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