Why do you put up with crap off your JW famlies?

by dawg 78 Replies latest jw experiences

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  DJK

  What if you called a shunner out at a funeral? Is that any harsher then them not talking to you or treating you unkind at a moment of grief? What would be wrong if you stated out loud why a family member isn't talking to you? Wouldn't that bring shame on the religion as it well should?

  Some bad things were said by the witnesses at my mothers funeral. My new stepmother behaved badly at my sisters funeral. I didn't need to point it out as it was so obvious to all of the non witnesses present.

  They do well enough to bring shame on their religion, I don't need to be the one outspoken person in a crowd bringing shame on myself. There's a proper time and place for everything and I don't think a funeral or someones wedding would be the right time and place.

  I understand what your saying and I agree people should stand up for themselves. I understand what others are feeling and I'm sure that someday they will reach a breaking point or a comfort zone and speak up.
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  dawg

  Dove wrote "I love them and worry about losing their love. How pathetic is that? I think it's normal, actually. I need them and they, to a certain point, need me. It's best not to burn bridges".
  
  How can someone profess love to you and then not care what you think, not listen to your opinions? It's not love if someone can't accept you.
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  Mickey mouse

  Because families put up with one another's crap. It's what they do. My mum carried me for nine months, nursed me through babyhood, placated me when I fell and hurt myself.....my father worked hard day in and day out to put food on the table and whatever mistakes they made they did what they thought was best for me. I think I can forgive them for putting loyaty to the F&DS before me, afterall they are in a mind control cult.

  Let him without sin cast the first stone and all.

  Mickey.
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  dawg

  83501-I'll go and see your family if you want.
  
  Awakened-To each his own is a cop out, here's what I see on this board, a bunch of folks too afraid to speak but more then willing to come on here and complain. And what does that accomplish?
  
  Doe-I never said coward, but you are one to come on a thread and post a threat... and I bet you've said nothing oh brave one to your family. Actions speak louder than words.
  
  Outlaw, good to hear from you.
  
  Sheep-Good for you that you speak your mind, and here you give yet another example where sepaking didn't cost you a thing.
  
  Josie-thanks for another example where speaking your mind works.
  
  DJK-Good point about funerals, so if not at the very gatherings where their actions are taking place then where?
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  dawg

  So mickey, you say nothing and allow the ones you profess to love to stay in what you described as a mind controlled cult, the man that worked so hard to raise you and the woman that carried you, you don't love them enough to at least try and help them see the light? Interesting kind of love you have there Mickey.
  
  If families take crap off one another "that's what they do" isn't it time they at least listen to you, isn't them doing what families do?
  
  This is what you are really feeling, you have facts backing you up, why are you so willing to let your family suffer under the yoke of the Wt if you profess your love for them?
• 

  easyreader1970

  Dove wrote "I love them and worry about losing their love. How pathetic is that? I think it's normal, actually. I need them and they, to a certain point, need me. It's best not to burn bridges".
  
  How can someone profess love to you and then not care what you think, not listen to your opinions? It's not love if someone can't accept you.

  Because their minds have been turned to jelly by the Watchtower, that's how. And because of that you cannot expect them to respond to things in the same way as a person who is not indoctrinated by the Society. The Society has made them irrational and unthinking. Everyone has to get to a point that they are comfortable. Some people are perfectly fine with denouncing the Organization and losing their close family ties--mothers, fathers, sons, daughters, friends, etc. I do not think that makes them more brave than the person who doesn't want to lose these connections. You can argue that they are cowards, but choosing to live with and maintain relationships with the only family you might ever have is not a cowardly thing. Let me ask you this question. When slavery was legal in the United States, some blacks tried to escape. This was brave, of course. They did it with the possibility of being caught and killed and also they would lose their family and friends. Some chose to stay for various reasons. Some stayed out of fear of physical violence by the white man, but some did not want to leave their husbands, wives, or children. They had family ties there. Were the ones that stayed cowardly? Surely all of them were not. The Society has done an excellent job. You can be free from them, but you may never be free of the lasting and burning effects of their hold. They will scar the remainder of your life forever. It is, of course, your option if you want the scar. At the same time, I can see your point. If more people stood up to the wrongful practices of the Organization in a concerted effort, things might change. The Organization might change its stance or possibly others might leave. It's sort of like going to war. You have to be willing to make the ultimate sacrifice and many people aren't willing to do that. Especially since everybody has not bought into that idea. er
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  dawg

  This is what I see from this board, almost everyone that writes in here gets pissed when someone calls someone out for not actually telling their families what they really feel. They get on threads like this one and act pissed to the core, but I think it's all reaction formation.
  
  Many say I'm trying to tell them how to act, but that's not true, I'm looking at how they are acting in amazement, I'm amazed that something has hurt them to the point they come on sites like this, yet they're too afraid to speak. You can find ways, as many have, to say what you feel without alienating your families, there's more than one way to skin a cat.
  
  But the thing I find deplorable, is when you whom are too afraid to speak cut down those that have courage. Like Cognac for instance, many of you were saying she was a troll, discouraging her methods. It's those of you that are too afraid to speak that should be looked down on, not someone like cognac.
  
  Many of you were sheep, that's why you joined the foolish JW religion in the first place, and now I see that many of you are still sheep... sad really.
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  dawg

  By the way, Junction Guy, good to hear from you man,.
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  dawg

  Good points all around easy reader, but your last statement was the point I was making.,
  
  Also, there are ways to do things that don't completely alienate your family. I was able to present points to my dad for years and I wasn't shunned, but I learned that my silence was costing others, making generations of my family slaves to the WT cult. I can't live with that.
  
  As to the point on slaves,that is a choice... but I would say that those that wanted freedom and were too afraid to run were cowards...
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  Switch

  I hear ya too Dawg. I've said before that I can't understand how people do a slow fade and keep any sort of sanity. My life has done a total turnaround in only 6 mos. I went from being a totally faithful, little lemming to NOT believing in the organization (obviously) but also pretty much chucking the idea of God, the Bible or any sort of eternal future. I'm keeping an open mind but if nobody has come up with all the answers in thousands of years past then I hardly expect a brilliant breakthrough in my life. At least I feel like I'm in reality now with the rest of the world.

  Anyway, I know I couldn't possibly dump all of this on the family at once. Gotta take that in stages. But I've definitely stated my views of the Gov. Body to my friends and family. They are still reeling from the shock and audacity of me, I'm sure.

  Also, I have to take into account that I always have to take crap from my mom on a weekly basis anyway. Usually it's not religion related. So why should the JW issue be any different? I guess that's what families do....or maybe it's just JW families? hmmm. Now you got me wondering. I think my mom has a very critical personality but maybe the cult has emphasized it more.

  Well, my point was...families are going to give ya crap all your life. They criticize, question your decisions, treat ya like a child when your 37 yrs. old, etc. Hopefully, they'll still talk to ya after all is said and done. I don't care if my friends and family agree with me but they should at least show some respect and hear what you have to say. Unfortunately, my mom doesn't (so far) want to hear anything from me, but at least I have opened my mouth and I feel better for having expressed myself to her.

  switch