Why do you put up with crap off your JW famlies? (page 7)

BFD

Dawg,

I could never pull the rug out from under my mom. Believe me I've thought about it. She'll be 77 this year. I put up with the shunning because really, I have nothing better to offer her. Just love. She doesn't see it that way.

What is pissing me off is that she is so intelligent and I can't believe she's swallowing the current WT$ drivel I've been reading about here. If she don't wake up now, she never will. I won't force it.

I so hear you and all but the bottom line is everyone's situation is different. There is no right or wrong way.

BFD

Carlos_Helms

Looks like everyone's found a mechanism to deal with being "out" while family and friends are "in." The whole thing is a freaking corporately-created social nightmare. But it is GENIUS! Just look at what it does to people who are in identical fortunate positions. Shunning is meant to destroy relationships. Jesus meant to build relationships. Shunning is anti-christ. And now maybe we should shun the shunned? Like it or not, lots of us checked our cajones at the tower...and we still haven't found them.

Carlos

Deidra

Hallelujah DAWG!!!! You said so eloquently what I couln't have said better. I got so tired of tip toeing around my family. I had to take a stand for what I believed in - and it wasn't the JWs. I felt so much better once I did. They are wrong and I let them know to this day. I do not give in to them and God has blessed me for it. We'll never get anywhere with JWs if we have some people that accept the way they're treated. I call them out - in public - wherever. The way they treat DFs is downright ugly. They can't treat human beings worse than dogs and make the world think that they're such a great group of peole. NO!!!!!!!! It's their turn to be embarassed. I tell everyone I can so that they don't give the JWs the time of day when they come to their door, etc................

White Dove

I'm playing the wimp for now for the sake of my very old grandparents, one of whom is an elder since the beginning of time immemorial. They have taken such good care of me and still are. I'm doing this as a gift to them for the love they have shown me. I don't want their last thought to be that White Dove won't be there to greet them in the next second of their memory (the first second of their resurrection). It's a gift. Once they have passed on, I may come out of the aposta-closet.

If I do it prematurely, I will hurt two people who love me very very much and also hurt any chances of getting my other family out of the org. They will not listen to an apostate, but they will give an ear to someone who might be a bit weak but no less still "in."

It's better this way.

Junction-Guy

Dawg didn't name anyone in particular when he mentioned cowards, if someone gets offended, then perhaps the shoe fits. Why do people take things personal when it clearly wasn't meant to be directed toward anyone specific?

As for the college thing, alot of XJW's think they are much better than those without college, kind of like an elitist thing. Some do love to throw it up in others faces, I have witnessed it myself personally.

White Dove

I can only stand up for myself when I know for sure what I'm talking about and that I'm dead on accurate. If I'm not wholly convinced that I'm right, I lack confidence and can't argue the point. People always demand proof of my statements and I had better have that proof or shut up about it.

It takes a long time to become convinced beyond a shadow of a doubt that everything I was taught my whole life from birth was wrong. I know it's wrong. Now, I have to find out why it's wrong. Next is really believing that it is wrong based on facts.

It's a long process and takes time. That is why so many of us stay in the closet. It is only one reason, though.

Oh, and although I have a college degree, I don't feel better than anyone else. Shame on those who do.

Junction-Guy

I can understand what you mean White Dove, some people only have one good chance to tell it like it is, and if they blow that one chance then that is it. It is always good to make sure of what you believe and why you believe it, because we are not just going up against our families, but a well crafted lying cult that has permeated their minds.

White Dove

That's exactly it. Prematurely coming out of the aposta-closet to family and friends would be like going into a gunfight without a gun. They are going to demand reasons and proof. I want ammo that will take them down in one shot. Just can't do it yet or fast and in their faces.

jgnat

I don't have any Witness relatives aside from my husband. But I do have crazy relatives. I don't tell them everything I'm thinking, either.

It's not lack of courage.

I choose to speak up when it would make a stitch of difference. Otherwise, I keep my opinions to myself. Why would I do that? Because sometimes speaking up does more harm than good. I'll give some examples.

My son faces sentencing for an assault charge. My crazy relative shows up in the waiting room and begins to trash my parenting and tells big fat whopper lies about my abusive ex-husband. According to her my son is a complete loser and he turned out that way because of my terrible parenting. I make motions to my son that he should walk away, but he sits and takes it. What do I do? Make a scene right there in front of the courtroom? That day is not about me, it's about keeping my son as calm and sane as he can be before he hears his sentencing. I walk away, and don't return until court is in session. I hold his hand.

Another court date, another confrontation with my crazy relatives. This time the frail grandmother grabs my hand, looks deeply in to my eyes, and begs me to take back my "lies" and begs me to make up with my ex-husband before she dies. Keep in mind I have not been in the same room or spoken to my ex for over 25 years. When I left him, the man was punching me and beating me every few days. I look her in the eye and say no more. As soon as she lets go, I leave the room. Tell me, can that woman face the truth? What's the point? It's kinder to let her die with her delusion. Again, the day and place were all wrong. I was there to support my son, not to get in to a screaming match with an eighty year old dimwit.

I do not think weddings or funerals are the place to get in to confrontations. Emotions are high and memories are long. Support the couple getting married, remember the friend or relative that is gone. Leave the battle for another day.

Junction-Guy

I completely understand White Dove. 10 years ago when I first found out the real truth about "The Truth", I didn't know nearly enough about the Watchtower and all her deceitful tactics, if I would have confronted someone back then, then only argument I would have had was that they changed the 1914 generation.

Now 10 years later there is the UN, Silentlambs, Rand Cam, and so on. I am to the pont now, that I am nearly impervious to any argument or coercion tactic they could employ. Problem for me is that I no longer live near any JW relatives and my Dad has basically ignored me. One day I will have the opportunity to tell him face to face and that will be another milestone for me.

Why do you put up with crap off your JW famlies?

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