Why do you put up with crap off your JW famlies? (page 4)

DJK

DJK-Good point about funerals, so if not at the very gatherings where their actions are taking place then where?

The Kingdom Hall.

lonelysheep

I truly believe its our fear that keeps us from making an impact. We have no strength as we do not stick together, refuse to speak out boldly... we fear what relationships we might lose all the while ignoring the fact that our cowardice allows others to suffer. If we all banded together, refused the shunning or exposed what was happening as to cause the shunner remorse for their actions, or even shame...then I believe we'd see a change in how we are treated.

Bravo!

Real life in the real world does not allow for shunning. Only jw's world.

At some point, if possible, make them own you (your relationship), not the WT.

Doe says.. "I am not outspoken. I never claimed to be. What I said is my family knows my position. I have told them what I think of JW policies. At the same time, I'm not on a rampage to make them adopt my beliefs, nor do I claim to have a monopoly on being right. I take offense at your words because they are judgmental, narrow minded, and not constructive".

You came on thread looking for nothing more than a fight,If you're not outspoken as your words say, then how do they know your position? You continue your foolish words and contradict yourself in the same sentence, then you make up arguments and attribute them to me (straw man)I've never said I want my family to think like me, nor do I always think I'm right, I just don't accept the shunning.

Nothing you say stands up to reason, maybe it's best you remain quiet with your family.

dawg

Gilead, good to see you've made such a strong stand, if Doe would only take the time to see all the examples written on this thread where making a stand works, then maybe he's be able to make an impact instead of making cop out remarks.

I've read all your posts, thanks for the input.

John Doe

You came on thread looking for nothing more than a fight,If you're not outspoken as your words say, then how do they know your position? You continue your foolish words and contradict yourself in the same sentence, then you make up arguments and attribute them to me (straw man)I've never said I want my family to think like me, nor do I always think I'm right, I just don't accept the shunning.
Nothing you say stands up to reason, maybe it's best you remain quiet with your family.

Perhaps a definition will help you grasp the concept:

Main Entry:
out·spo·ken Listen to the pronunciation of outspoken
Pronunciation:
\?au?t-'spo-k?n\
Function:
adjective
Date:
circa 1808

1 : direct and open in speech or expression : frank 2 : spoken or expressed without reserve

"Direct and open" means just that, direct and open. There is a distinct difference with giving your opinion whether it is wanted or not, and answering questions when asked. I have not contradicted myself here, and you have not made a point. You are using the false dilemma that if you are not outspoken, no one knows your position. That's a rather ridiculous and childish position to take.

You say you don't always think you're right and you don't want to force your family to think like you, but as you say, "actions speak louder than words." I am not the one contradicting myself.

Balsam

I'm with you Dawg I would make a scene. Thankfully I have only one nephew and his idiot wife who live 3000 miles from so the heck with them they are dead to me. I have ex in-laws who are JW's but dont have to deal with them either except on rare occasion and I don't bother with them. Actually my ex-husband is polite I have to give him credit for that. He knows I'd go off on him if pushed too far though. LOL I think it is absolutely necessary to stand your ground. On more than one occasion I've watched the in-laws who have never been JW's turn against their family who are, because of their actions to me which is cool and take my side. LOL

MissingLink

I agree with you dawg. Living a "double life" is no good for your soul (if there is such a thing). We all gotta be careful about what we say at times and try to help others along. But when it hits the fan, you gotta be honest.

If ever faced with a shunner I will definitly be very outgoing with them and make them shame themself as much as possible. Make them face the fact that they are rejecting me, and I'm not rejecting them.

bluesbreaker59

I don't, I wrote a letter saying I wanted no part of the Borg anymore, and told them all to leave me alone. When my family has confronted me about that stuff, I've told them, "I will NEVER, EVER return to being a witness, I guarantee it. I love my freedom to do what I choose to do, and I love my fiancee too much, we don't want our (future) children, to be brought up in a mind controlling organization."

They don't speak to me, and I don't seek them out really either.

Fadeout

I'm not in a situation where I have to live much of a "double life."

I work in a respectable business, am not covered in tattoos, am not fornicating, am clean shaven, go to college, and abandoned the meetings by coinciding my fade with a congregation change so that nobody misses me.

I deconverted my closest relative simply by NOT being outspoken but by taking things slow, being tactful, respectful, sensitive.

If I want to help others I care about, and I do, it would be self-defeating to be too outspoken in a foolish display of "courage" or "taking a stand."

I am fighting a billion-dollar corporation that has assimilated the minds of my family. Guerrilla warfare is my only option.

The individuals are victims; they are not the enemies that I need to "take a stand" against. If I have a chance to rescue them one at a time, the right thing is to do so. I don't know how many I can get before I'm caught, maybe none, maybe a few. But I don't really see a lot of other options. So I play along and interact with them in a way that hopefully maximizes my chances for success.

dawg

I'm sorry fadeout and Doe, but that pig don't fly. Are you really going to sit here and tell all us ex-JWs that your families don't confront YOU about this JW mess? And the both of you can sugarcoat it all you want, but to not speak your mind, say what you truly feel is an act of cowardice.

You can do it many ways, if you'd read this whole thread you'll see that I didn't come out on the attack but came out slowly and stated my case.

Doe doesn't say what he does, but from his posts I can see he doesn't do anything.. how's that working out for you Doe? I've gotten 3 of my relatives to speak out openly by writing my letters, and by their acts of courage many more may be rescued. But saying and doing nothing you enable fools to enslave your families and friends, then your retort is you don't want to alienate them.

GET this point folks, you are alienated yourself if you can't say what you feel, it's them that has that power over you not vice versa. And that's the point, doing nothing accomplishes nothing. You can call me childish or anything you like but your actions speak volumes.

I think the both of you feel ashamed and embarrassed that you don't take a stand... as I said in a previous post, my hard line stand took years, and you can start yours today at a slow pace, but doing nothing means that no one know how you feel. And that's fear that keeps you from doing what's right.

Why do you put up with crap off your JW famlies?

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