The Friends Ain't So Friendly

by StAnn 53 Replies latest jw friends

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  erandir

  To StAnn and Jamie,

  Hello fellow Ohioans! I hail from Western Ohio (near Dayton).

  Now...back to the topic:

  My on topic post has to do with group mentality. They shun as a group, and they agree to look down on "worldly" people. As individuals, things vary widely from person to person, once you get them alone. I know a lot of genuine, albeit mislead, friends and also a fair share of hypocrits who are just in it for status or power or being the center of attention. So, if I must make a generalization here, witnesses aren't very different from other groups of people.
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  Eyes Open

  Most groups of people like Nazis and Jehovah's Witnesses have a variety of types of people in it. Studies into obedience to authority have given some scary results.
• 

  milligal

  There was a study done at Yale in the 70's. A psychologist told a median group of people -all age ranges, all economic status's that they were doing a learning test and the person in the room behind a glass wall, was supposed to answer some questions correctly, when they didn't the person doing the test was supposed to shock them, (the ''student' who was part of the test was supposedly wired up in a chair able to receive up to 350 volts. the blind person did not know that the chair was not sending real shocks). Shockingly, 60% of participants were willing to shock a perfect stranger on command.

  The reason for this study was the psychologist was studying the Nazi phenomenon and wondered why people would behave that way. he concluded that you could find enough Nazi's to fill any concentration camp in any American town.

  It's hard to admit, but humanity is something we have to think about and be sure we are making right choices. It doesn't come naturally to everyone.
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  milligal

  I just wanted to add in addition to my above post, that I am also torn about this phenomenon, be it witnesses or Nazi's I don't know that people aren't just sneaky and manipulative and enjoy the drama of shunning. But it seems they share company with the majority of the population-at least when the above study was done.
• 

  DaCheech

  I, also notice a df'd person at a mile away.

  but I try to look with a look that says "take it easy, it will get better". I never stare, nor do I just turn my head in 180deg.
• 

  milligal

  Dacheech-I don't mean to belittle your attempt at kindness, but do df'd people really need to feel honored over a look, a wink, or a smile? Does that make the shunning any better? How about a 'hey, good to see you.' ? That would be something, but a 'look'? That still perpetuates the idea that they are unworthy of being spoken to, or openly acknowledged. My witness mom tried to comfort me by telling me that some brothers will smile or wink at df'd people (therefor I should not feel bad about coming back) I said 'mom, since when am I such a bad person that all I deserve is a wink? Am I supposed to get excited about this?'

  Anyway, just wanted to share that thought with you in case you hadn't heard anyone else felt that way.
• 

  DaCheech

  honestly milligal, I don't see df'd people in the street.

  I do see them at KH............ and there is a Nazi syndrome there.

  sorry for the ones in this situation, but any day this CAN happen to me, and I would feel worse if people TOTALLY ignored me
• 

  StAnn

  I don't mean any disrespect, and I do acknowledge that there are plenty of Witnesses who are indeed "heartless, cold, evil people who found a belief system that lets them indulge their true, sadistic natures." But I also know that there are others who have goodness, divine spark, and decency, and have been in for many years -- and still are.

  Nameless One, I know that there are a people in the WTS who are very torn about their affiliation. They anguish over how to treat people, they have nagging doubs about whether they are doing the right thing. They hesitate before following orders. Those ones in mental and spiritual turmoil, I can understand them. They're the ones you're talking about.

  Then you have the ones I was talking about. The ones who delight in following orders. The ones who feel personally superior because they just shunned someone who did nothing more than change their mind about their religious affiliation. The ones who can't wait for the destruction of millions at Armageddon, referring to them as only "bird food."

  StAnn
• 

  VM44

  Whether thay are good, or bad, the individual Witness is caught in a cult, and has to deal with the cult mentality.
• 

  StAnn

  I was a JW my whole life, and I never ignored a df'd person with a flat tire, delighted in the impending death of anyone, treated anybody in a cruel or heartless manner, or did anything remotely heinous or "Nazi-ish".

  Cog, then this post doesn't apply to you. I should have been more specific.

  My baby brother lives in Phoenix and is DF'd. His daughter lives with his ex-wife, who is still a JW. My "elder" brother went to Phoenix recently and had dinner with the ex- and our neice while he was there. Before he left Ohio, my dad asked him to stop in and see our little DF'd brother and my elder brother said he'd try. Elder brother sat at the dinner table in Phoenix and, in front of my neice, bragged about how he wasn't going to go visit our little brother because "he made his choice" and he's dead to him now, ad nauseum. Of course, he said all these lovely things right in front of DF'd brothers little girl. And, of course, he didn't have the balls to say any of this to our dad. He lied to our dad and said that he didn't have time to see our brother. When I told Dad that he had time to have dinner with the ex-, he told Dad that he "ran into her" at a restaurant so they sat together. Lies, lies, lies, he went to her house to eat. My elder brother, the one who is so interested in geneaology, would have been in the high command of the Nazis. He pretty much knows the JWs are full of BS, he's said so, but he likes the "prestige" of being an elder. His wife has already left the JWs because of their dishonesty. More importantly, he plays this game and puts on this act because our mother has disinherited her children who have left the JWs. He's in it for her money. I'll bet he leaves within six weeks of her funeral.

  I don't think he's an anomaly. He was a pioneer for years and is very respected in his congregation. Everybody just loves him at the KH.

  StAnn