The Friends Ain't So Friendly (page 3)

StAnn

Whether thay are good, or bad, the individual Witness is caught in a cult, and has to deal with the cult mentality.

VM44, although what you say is true, my mother and one of my brothers take particular delight in the nastier aspects of the WTS. My sister and another brother, both of whom are still in, I believe have great difficulty treating people badly. Same family, same congregation, but two of them have hearts and two of them don't. I think the cult mentality keeps the two decent ones trapped in it for now but that the other two thrive in the cult mentality.

StAnn

Where's Cowboy when you need him? Cowboy, get in here and lighten this up with some fun animation and emoticons!

StAnn

White Dove

StAnn,

You make a lot of sense. I might add the incurable cowards to that list. What other choice is there?

WTWizard

I remember the first year or so after I became a witless. I used to look down on worldly people as being somehow unclean, even though somehow I didn't really believe it because I was once a worldly person myself. And I looked down on anyone that was disfellowshipped. This is programmed into the witlesses, telling people to avoid "bad association", treating worldly people like pee (or poison, depending on who did the talk in your Hell), and that you can get disfellowshipped for associating with a disfellowshipped person.

And they are not clear where the boundaries are. One could blunder into trouble with the congregation, since neither the members nor the hounders knew the boundaries. Often, the hounders would interpret the boundaries differently on different days, and with different people, in order to fill their agendas. No wonder people are so afraid of helping worldly and disfellowshipped people.

milligal

I think there is a real distinction between those that enjoy the nastiness and those that hurt over it; for example, my JW mom constantly calls me and tries to tell me that 'true' witnesses don't believe that shunning should be done with cruelty. Not so, for other members of the family who would walk away and leave me in a burning house.

Some people love the self elevation, the drama (that's a big one-some people are drama queens), and I think I am starting to believe that some people just aren't made of the same stuff as others. It is supported by the 1974 John Milgram study.

Layla33

I agree with the topic because even the nicest of people are still in cult controlled by people that have judged other people as beneath them and that they should essentially be destroyed. As long as you are part of that mentality and you either passively or actively participate, you are just as guilty, and sorry it is not nice. Now most of my family is still in this, some are very high up people, I am extremely close with my grandmother, and father, but I don't paint rose colored glasses over who they are no matter how much I adore them - they are still indoctrinated in this cult and that is our one clash/difference.

Some wonderful quotes:

Studies into obedience to authority have given some scary results.

Whether thay are good, or bad, the individual Witness is caught in a cult, and has to deal with the cult mentality.

Amber Rose

As I read this post, I immediately thought of the study mentioned by millgal. It also brought to mind Abu Ghraib and an other study done in the 70's dealing with prisoners and gaurds, and also my in-laws who boastfully declare that they would never turn thier back on or shun a family member (because they are superior to JW's who do such things). The truth is no one knows how they will react in a certain situation untill they are out of the situation and look back and say "My god, what have I done?' - either good or bad.

Too often we are too quick to paint others as monsters and ourselves as saints. There's more monster in all of us than we are willing to admit.

tartarus

wasn't there a Simpson's episode about that? Them buzzing each other at a shrink's office, what a loving family.

moshe

No wonder people are so afraid of helping worldly and disfellowshipped people

Exactly. The JW's will avoid doing volunteer work just to keep from getting into trouble. You will never see a food/clothes collection barrel for a public charity at the front door of a KH, while the local church across the street will have one.

Layla33

Too often we are too quick to paint others as monsters and ourselves as saints. There's more monster in all of us than we are willing to admit.

True, but we are comparing individuality versus collective thinking, two very different things. We all have the capacity to be nice or not nice to anyone, but in a situation of a cult, where there is manipulation both overtly and covertly, the title is very accurate. "The friends" are not so nice. The idea that the people of a certain group are your friends is an untruth, when in fact, by just being given a certain label 95% of those in that group will shun you, mistreat you and treat you like an untouchable (something unclean and destable). THAT is psychological abuse. That is mistreatment of another human being on the words of strange men that 95% of the member of that group HAVE NEVER MET or seen for that matter.

Make sense? Group dynamics is my speciality and I am convinced that the entire reason I studied psychology and group behavior had to do with the actions of being raised in such a situation. Whether there are monsters in us all, in the context of the JW religion, you are a labeled a monster by simple virtue of excersing your right to free thought and free will ERGO (worldy, disfellowshipped, unclean, "the world", apostate, marked, etc) versus those that accept the group-think (the truth, friends, brother/sister, etc). The indoctrination is on so many levels, that even while there may be people that are "nice", they allege their confirmity to going with the status at every meeting they attend, every song they sing, and every time they go out knocking on people's doors trying to change them.

Any JW that is still an active member involved in that religion and doesn't shun, doesn't give their allegiance to the WTS and the governing body is in the very small minority. Most passionately believe it and practice it and they are NOT friendly when they are challenged with a person's assertion of free thought.

The Friends Ain't So Friendly

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