5. That great KH smell!
4. Going to the meetings makes you really appreciate a cold beer.
3. Studying the Watchtower and Awake mags is equivalent to a college eduction...what a deal!
2. The beautiful Kingdom melodies, they still haunt me. (Dark days are here, Man lives in fear.......)
1. Where else can I hear a two-hour rant/WT study on the subject of masturbation on a Sunday morning?
Juts for fun: Stupid reasons why you WON'T leave the JWs
by outofthebox 57 Replies latest jw friends
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Sway
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Scarred for life
Oh, Sway! You're killing me! ROFL! I've been out for a long time but I know exactly what you're talking about. You guys are really making me laugh. Y'all are way too much fun to be JWs.
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mcsemike
Listening to a talk on rendering the "marital due" (Jesus, what a god damn stupid euphenism) and realizing your wife hasn't been in the mood for the past two months. And realizing that half of the sisters in the 1980's wore dresses with hideous floral patterns halfway down their shins and had shoulder pads sewn in so they could block any tackle you tried in order to take them down.
Then, as a book study conductor, having a brother approach you and ask if masturbation is a sin even though he's married, because his wife is trying to earn her salvation using "chastity points", earned by NOT having sex with her husband and coming out of the bathroom wrapped in five towels so that nothing shows. And you eagerly grab a WT bound volume since YOU want to know the answer as well because your wife and his wife are both using "theocratic virginity" to make it through Armageddon. And if you want children, she will try the method Mary used to have Jesus.
I also miss not seeing the $250,000 chandelier in the Jersey City Assembly Hall which reminded all of us that our meeting places are "humble, modest, and not gaudy or materialistic". In addition, I don't get to see a new parking attendant who is 16 years old trying to direct traffic in the 8 level deep underground parking garage across the street from Jersey City and see him direct traffic in such a way that two cars crashed either into each other or into a steel beam.
Working in first aid because I was a servant and my ex-wife is a nurse and seeing several dozen sisters come up and try to ask my ex-wife for "feminine items" while trying not to blush or let me know why they were there (like I didn't) and me wondering how dumb all these women could be for leaving home for 16 hours and not bringing what they needed. (I should have put up a "donation" box. I wonder how that would be recorded? Operating expense or donations to the "worldwide work".)
Being forced to take chocolate pudding (tasted like it was made at the farm) instead of safe vanilla and watching your two year old ruin her little dress, her hair, her face and hands, not to mention the seat.
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WTWizard
Because I really want to start the whole world into the Second Dark Ages.
NOT!
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saywhat29
Because I really like it when Brother. XXXxxxxx carries the mic and i can watch that a** move up and down the aisle.
You can't get that out in the world, now can you?
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TinyDancer124
It's fun to tease the brothers by being the only sister in a low-cut form fitting dress.
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ColdRedRain
Because I don't have a digital tv yet and it's cheaper than a DTV converter.
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Quandry
Because nobody can clean the bathrooms like I do....
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saywhat29
ROFL!
Quandry, for the win!
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Quandry
Thank you, saywhat
By the way, I used to pride myself on cleaning the baseboards, or in the bathrooms, the tops of the stall dividers, or anything else I knew wasn't cleaned as often, so that the KHall would shine to Jehovah's praise......wonder who is doing it now....