Has your " Self Esteem " Improved After Leaving Jehovah's Witnesses ? (page 4)

flipper

Thought I would bump this thread up for any who are having challenges after exiting the witness cult in getting on in life to regain self esteem. Just know that it will get better my friends. Lots of us care and have been through this leaving the witnesses as well. So I welcome any comments from some who have learned to regain self esteem and how they have moved on. Anybody is free to comment if they are having self esteem issues as well. Hang in there

White Dove

"It's important to recognize that we are sinners and deserve to die."

Now, that's some sick s*it!

Just drop the guilt tripping already!

isaacaustin

flipper check your pm pls....

Quirky1

No more suicidal thoughts, thinking this was the only way out.

Drinking much less.

Look forward to being with family and freinds more.

Thanks Flip!!

Farkel

:Has your " Self Esteem " Improved After Leaving Jehovah's Witnesses ?

Self esteem as a Jehovah's Witness hovers between zero and lower-than-zero. If one can get one's self-esteem from (on a scale of 1 to 100) zero to only ONE after leaving, that may not seem like much, but mathematically, that is an INFINITE increase in self-esteem.

Even a low self-esteem is a monumental leap from no self-esteem. Self-esteem is impossible in WatchtowerLand(tm), because as we all know, that condition is all Bible-Based(tm).

Farkel

Finally-Free

Then she stated, " You know Dad , none of us deserve to live - we all deserve to DIE ! " My heart just dropped into my stomach ! She continued, " It's only a free gift that we have a chance of life - because we inherited sin from Adam and Eve. Only by Jesus sacrifice are we worthy to have life ! "

I haven't heard that line of reasoning in a long time, and completely forgot that I used to think the same way. That kind of negative thinking doesn't motivate a person to strive to accomplish anything in life. If anything, it promotes hopelessness. As a JW there were times I just wanted to shrivel up and die. Once, when having surgery, something went wrong. I was not completely under yet, and I heard the panic in the O/R. At the time I thought I wasn't going to wake up - and I didn't care. It was actually a relief.

My sense of self worth has come a long way since then.

W

Dagney

After hearing you are underserving of anything, just pondscum fortunate enough to have come into contact with Jesus' brothers (tm), yes, self esteem improved after leaving. But it's a struggle to fight the messages you heard for so many years. Getting better every day. But still a struggle.

GoingGoingGone

My self-esteem as a JW was actually not too bad. I was a pioneer, then married to an elder, exemplary family, etc, etc, etc. I was a "good example". I was also your typical people-pleaser.

When I finally realized how wrong the WTS was and left, I understood how much of my self-esteem was tied to what other people thought of me. My friends ignored me, my husband threatened to leave me, and the elders made 'visits' to try to 'encourage' me. I felt like I was worthless, a disappointment to everyone who mattered.

Today, my self esteem is tied to who I am as a person, and is measured by MY opinion of myself and no one else's. I am a good person, a good mother, a good wife and friend and neighbor and goshdarnit I've got lots of talent, too, even if I never did go to college! Of course I care what other people think of me (that's just human nature I guess.) The reason I want to improve myself today is so that I can be proud of myself, and be a better person tomorrow - not so that I can please someone else.

I think there's a special kind of freedom in that.

GGG

Nowman

Definitely improved self esteem here...its been 16 years + since I have been out. I was 18 when I left to be a part of the big world out there as a non-JW. Looking back, I never realized that I had self-esteem issues, but I did. Part of it was me being a girl and trying to measure up to "society" but a big part was because of what I endured at home while a JW.

In fact, from the age of 15-22 years, I had an eating disorder. When I was 15, my parents went on that Fit For Life diet that was popular in 1989 or 1990...I was always a chunky kid up until about late 8th grade-early freshman year of HS. I started to lose weight because of this diet my parents were on (you don't mix certain foods together like starches & veggies & meats together etc). It was awesome, I had never been thin! I had gone from being 5ft 135 lbs, down to 105 lbs and I ate. I also went to school, I pioneered with my mom, and I worked part time. I was very active.

Well, when I got down to 105 lbs, there were times where I was so busy, my weight would drop to 102-103, and my parents noticed. It became a rule in my house that Nikki had to be 105 lbs and no less. So, at certain random times, my dad would say "get on the scale". If I was 103.5 lbs, they would make me eat a bunch of cookies and milk after we would get back from the Tuesday night meeting for example. I remember the 1st time it happened, my mom had made these great lemon cookies. I ate them alright. The next day, I wake up, and my dad is waiting for me to get on the scale, well I was still 103.5 lbs. I pleaded with him to understand that I was eating, and that I did not understand why I did not gain a pound from eating all those cookies the night before. He told me then to go eat some more, so I did.

This went on for awhile and eventually I was so stressed out everyday wondering if my dad was going to ask me to get on the scale, that I wore certain clothes so he would not bother me, in fact, I avoided wearing black pants for sure!!!

Eventually, my best friend had confided in me that she had bulemia and it worked (in my mind, not thinking about the harmful consequences of it). So, I started throwing up. It was a control thing, it started when I was still at home, and it ended when I got pregnant with my daughter at 22. Up until that point, I wanted to do it, I wanted to get back at them for making me a freak, so to be speak.

In fact, alot of what I did when I 1st left at 18 was to get back at them, I would think about them while I threw up. I was so self-destructive in everything I did. I found that I was so unbalanced, and unsure about so many things about myself, what the hell was wrong with me?

I got better, the mind of someone with an eating disorder does not go away, you just have heal and not act on your thoughts. It was tough but I got through it. I excercise daily and try to take care of myself. I am 35 years old now and much more comfortable in my own skin than I ever was and I feel for those here that are not at that point. Yet, a big part of it is because of life experience, and just moving on. Find out what makes you happy, and its OK to not know what makes you happy either, but find out.

Sorry for the book but this thread brought back memories of how I was trying to find myself by myself, my parents stopped speaking to me once I was DF'd, I was so hurt by them. They stopped talking to me, when I really should have cut ties with them the day I turned 18. I think they felt I runined their lives when I left, well they runined my childhood with the backing of the org. All they did was make me feel worthless, and I am not even close to being worthless!

So, those of you that feel worthless or not good enough, I assure you, you are not. Its that strong JW cult mindset, do not let it take over you, you are worth it.

Nikki

Bubblie

My self esteem is always being worked on by me since leaving the Borg and last year my divorce. I know I am a good person who tries not to hurt anyone. I love being with other people who treat people like this. Mean people are not part of my world right now. Toxic people need to stay away and leave me alone.

Kit

Has your " Self Esteem " Improved After Leaving Jehovah's Witnesses ?

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