Has your " Self Esteem " Improved After Leaving Jehovah's Witnesses ? (page 5)

flipper

WHITE DOVE- It is pretty sick the witnesses think we deserve to die . It's twisted and sick both.

ISAAC AUSTIN- I PMed you back ! Thanks !

QUIRKY- I'm glad to hear you are doing better ! Great ! It is amazing how much in fear the organization made us feel badly about ourselves. I'm glad for you ! Keep the good work up !

FARKEL- Exactly. Good point. I mean the witnesses take almost ALL of a person's self esteem away , so like you say after exiting if anex-witness can get back just a little confidence and self esteem - it's a great achievment !

FINALLY FREE- I'm glad your self worth has gained much momentum after exiting the witness cult. I agree totally with what you said. The witnesses teach people that they aren't worth anything , being as we are all " sinners " deserving of death. Ridiculous. I feel by pushing people that direction the WT society really fosters depression in people .

DAGNEY- I hear what you are saying. Being called " pond scum " is never any fun - unless you are a Koi fish or pond fish. Last time I checked we are all valuable human beings with giving hearts ! ( Contrary to WT society theology ) So you are right , it takes years sometimes to lose that indoctrination we had in our negative assessment of ourselves. It's hard work like you say, but it can be done !

GOING, GOING, GONE- Excellent post ! I agree with every comment you make. I too try to be a better person, not to please others for outward appearance, but because it makes me feel good about myself and helping others. It sounds like you are that way also, and you have done a lot of work on yourself in moving on from the witnesses ! Good for you.

NOWMAN- I'm so sorry you went through bullimia and it made you so unhappy for years. I'm glad you have healed in time and worked through your issues to become happier. The witnesses don't expect us to be happy after leaving , they expect us to wilt up and die.

BUBBLIE- Very good point that mean people are NOT part of your world right now. No doubt it has allowed you to pursue some peace in your life. I agree, I try to avoid psychic vampires who suck the life out of you and I avoid toxic people as well ! It's healthier

flipper

Wanted to bump up one of my more positive threads from my archives., Feel free to comment. Thanks, Peace out, Mr. Flipper

Mad Sweeney

Thank you for buming it, Flipper.

I have family who the experiences in this thread will help.

Personally, I have always had high self-esteem and that's probably a big part of why I didn't excel as a Dub. Many of the guys I grew up with were elders before I ever even became a MS. I refused to play the game the uber-Dub way. It also is a primary factor in my getting out. I had enough of being told how to live my life by people who don't know anything about it. I never gave the Borg 100% of my faith; I knew they were wrong about a lot of things and had been mulling over possible reforms in my mind for years.

I don't think the Borg wants people with high self-esteem. One of the first things they do is try to break that esteem down. I guess I'm lucky they couldn't do it with me, despite being an almost born-in.

But my family is a different story. My wife had horrible self-esteem while a Dub. It is growing slowly since leaving but it's going to be a long process. Wounds of the soul heal slowly.

Thanks for this thread.

flipper

MAD SWEENEY- You are welcome my friend. I think many of us have JW family who have been affected by the WT society in losing their self esteem. I do hope these experiences will help. You must have a similar personality like me - on the independent thinking side- because I never wanted to reach out for elder either as I had been a MS for 6 years in my 20's. I always had some doubts , especially since 1989 at age 30. But it took me until 2003 to finally exit due to fear of losing family. But I always had high self esteem and didn'yt give ALL my brain to the WT cult either.

My first wife ( now my ex-wife a JW I was married to 19 yrs. until 1998 ) NEVER had any self esteem - she's still fanatically in the cult and influences my 2 JW daughters against me. But I have a happy life with my non-witness wife , my son who is out - and enjoying life in general. Just have to make up our minds to move forward and be happy

finallysomepride

Yes, my self esteem has gone up since leaving but looking at plp who having never been jws i believe i still have along way to go to reach where I should be, much like the pride i should feel about my self it has increased too after being surpressed for so long by jubbawabbaland, hence my user name.

Scarred for life

Great thread. Yes, as you pointed out Flipper in the OP, I have come a long, long way since leaving the JWs. But as my username indicates I do feel that my JW upbringing has left me scarred. I agree with Shamus above . It is something that I need to work on every day. If I don't or if I have a blow or disappointment I don't recover well. I think it's because I don't have that solid foundation. Thanks for the reminder to keep moving forward and to work on that self-esteem DAILY.

flipper

FINALLYSOMEPRIDE- That is great that your self esteem has shot up and increased since exiting the witnesses ! Right on ! Good for you. It does take time. It took me a good 3 years or so until I finally felt less intimidated by the elders and the control they had held over me. Once we are away from the controlling environment- it becomes less scary or intimidating. Life is good with freedom of mind isn't it ? Peace out, Mr. Flipper

Scarred for life

I would say it took me about 3 years to get past the intimidation and control also.

flipper

SCARRED FOR LIFE- I hear you. It took me about 3 years as well to get over even using the catch phrases like " the truth " or " brothers " and " sisters " or " faithful slave " in conversation. Glad we got our freedom

jambon1

Good topic.

Yes, very much so.

I viewed myself very negatively due to the constand bombardment of 'nothings ever good enough'. In actual fact, I was a very good dad with a decent honest business & a lovely wife. Lots of positive things in my life. Yet I was constantly down on myself & rather depressed.

Very much changed days now though. The mental conditioning is gone forever. And I'll not let what happened to me happen to my children.

Has your " Self Esteem " Improved After Leaving Jehovah's Witnesses ?

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