by restrangled 41 Replies latest jw friends
I have been here over 2 years, some of you for many more.
I come and go with postings. There are so many fighting history with current marriages to JW's, time put in as Elders or what ever title you held.
Some of us grew up in the worst possible time period,....description is not always possible here.
Sometimes I feel we can;'t get beyond it.....We just keep talking about... is that bad or is that OK?
Sometimes, I get sick of myself.
r.
Sometimes I get sick of you too!
Ok, just kidding:) I know what you mean. I left nearly 30 years ago and here I still am, chatting with you all. My mom is still in, that's my excuse. I am still trying to figure things out, too. In addition, letting go of the belief doesn't mean that ones experience in the Borg is simply of no more importance. I chat online with JWs and am there with other Ex JWs. I think my mental and emotional separation from the WT is evident in the way I can communicate. I am sympathetic to what everyone has been through, but I don't demonize individuals or even EVERYTHING about the Borg. I have seen the world as it is for 30 years, and I understand what draws folks into that mess. In any case, I think I have 'let go' in the ways that matter, but I think it is like forgiving a person for hurting you. You can go on with your life, you can be civil and get along-even still love them. But you will always have an internal flinch when a particularly hurtful memory of that time comes up. You don't forget.
RESTRANGLED- Having been a Jehovah's Witness in our past is kind of like having been married to someone else in your past. Or a relationship you had. You don't have it now - but it will always have been a part of your history. You move on - take the good lessons you learned from the experience, and try to forget the bad experiences, learn from those as well and not repeat getting mind controlled again.
I think many of us can move on and be productive, and have happy lives. What helps me is assisting others to exit the JW cult by giving them thoughts and encouraging them to be and think free. I get fulfillment in that. Thus turn the negative cult experience I had into a positive in helping others get out ! just my 2 cents
JW Daughter, I think you summed it up for me:
But you will always have an internal flinch.
r.
Restrangled.."Sometimes, I get sick of myself.".......LOL!!..You are so funny!..I walked away in my teens..My children are grown.....And..I`m still dealing with the trama..............One poster said it was like we all survived a plane crash.....Maybe there is no escape.....Perhaps all we can do is cope...
...OUTLAW
Being a JW is a unique experience that changes you. Or if raised in it it forever sets your course in life. This isn't necessarily bad, but it is like was said here, an ex relationship. maybe one that you have a kid with. I know I've moved on, yet I know I will probably always be involved with the ex-JW community.
Isaac
You know, I have always loved OUTLAW....why?
He grew up during the same time period, raised his own kids and more as I remember......is a major cook, ....and never brags about any of this.
What a guy, and someone to look up to as an ex-jw. Thank you Outlaw...you are a good friend on line..... and someone to admire.
r.
I remember reading somewhere that what doesn't kill us makes us stronger. I'm not sure I'm stronger, but I believe there's a chance my bull s**t detectors might be honed to a razor edge.
I think I realized I had accepted my Witness history and the relationships that went with that period when I quit trying to change those relationships. I'm not visiting those subjects in my mind in either busy or quiet times. The first Witness relatives to shun and snub me started 17 years ago. I would not welcome contact from those people at this time. They've proven to be defective in character in a way I'm not interested in visiting again.
I've accepted my mortality without regret. I did begin pragmatic management of my family's finances at a pretty early age so we don't have the issue of financial insecurity in our old age unless extremely bad luck befalls us. I've come to realize that security is health, not money, and that success is having friends. In that context, I'm secure and successful:-)
I've been out probably about 18 years and on this board for 6. I haven't been able to let go because my father and two sisters are in it. With my father's recent passing, that still leaves 2 sisters and their husbands and my father's wife. My interest for this stuff wavers. But I like to know what's going on instead of forgetting about this stuff entirely. If I retain something that can help my sisters out when the time is right, great! I don't want to get into a discussion with them and have them discount me entirely because I still think they believe something that changed 5 years ago.
Flipper's analogy to an ex-wife is a very good one. We had a love for it once and something happened and we're no longer together. How much you think about your ex depends on your circumstances. Do you still have friends in common? Do you still drive by the place you used to live? Do you run into each other?
I think you can let go though. The people who have let go aren't on this board to chime in though.
As it is, since my father's passing, I've sensed a kind of weight being lifted. My sisters are both in different states and are quite a bit older. I barely remember them being home. They're not as close as my brother and I. Sometimes they're more like some other type of relative than sisters. Maybe like cousins. And unlike my father, I don't see or talk to them that often. So I'm not talking to a JW every week. So I realize my interest in JW things has dropped considerably, although my recent brushes with them at the funeral have them fresh in my mind.
There have been so many interesting reponses.....Thankyou! So much to think about!
But I have another problem. After being almost 30 years out, and my Father dead 10 years ago. My mom decides I am a piece of shit to be denied her love because of the latest little WBTS top gun, who told her I am worthless. She writes a letter filled with scriptures and delivers it on my birthday that I am loved but basically a piece of shit because I smoke and she will no longer be my mother based on the Society's rules.
Just another JW...punch in the stomach.
That all changed when she developed cancer and needed me to go with her to doctors.....you know family....not religious friends.
OK, its all been changed, everything forgiven.
2 years later, ......here I am.....who cares, my feelings don't matter, it's how I found this website...2 years ago...out of frustration and anger....Damn it never ends.
r.
