Letting go, does it really ever happen as an X- JW? (page 3)

PEC

Nothing is as simple as we hope it will be.

Philip

dinah

True, PEC.

But we do make friends here. We are kinda scattered out. There are people here that I really love, even though I've never met them in person. That is what keeps me coming back.

*waves at Flyin'*

The longer I am away from the borg, and the more I talk to my new friends who have no knowledge of what being a JW means, the more I am aware of how weird our lives were. That being said, I think we do let go, but little by little, and depending on our personal circumstances. I have some friends who have moved on quickly; perhaps they were never as invested as I was. For myself, it is a slow process.

Cate

Lady Lee

Like the recovery from any type of trauma recovering from being in a cult takes time. Being on a board like this certainly helps the healing process.

I have referred several times to a book about a woman who was kidnapped and kept as a slave for 7 years. After she escaped her kidnapped was arrested and during the trial the issue of brainwashing came up. She could not understand why she just couldn't behind her. She was home. She was safe. Her kidnapper was in jail. No worries. Right?

Her father helped her see emotional/psychological abuse needed time. He said that if she had been run over by a Mac truck no one would expect her to walk away and say no problem. It would take time.

We can do ourselves a lot of good by sharing our experiences and learning that we aren't alone, we aren't to blame and we aren't crazy. Like Big Tex I left before the internet so leaving in isolation was very hard. And it took a lot of time to even realize the effects of living in a cult. Heck it took me ten years to realize I was in a cult.

Information is power and by learning the truth about the supposed authority of the WTS breaks a huge wall of denial that so many lived with.

Now we can deal with all kinds of issues here. We can read the stories of others and get an idea of what they are going through. But until something happens to us we can't work through certain issues. I'll give you an example.

Last year my grandmother died. My mother never bothered to call to tell me. I've read the stories of others. I knew what to expect but until it happened to me I could not deal with that particular issue.

As much as we learn here there will be issues that you won't be able to deal with until they happen. My sister's suicide and my mother's non-reaction to that. My daughters getting married and having to deal with their father again. My mother moving out of town and not telling me where she was moving to. The birth of my grandchildren and again the contact with my ex.

I anticipate the death of my mother (hopefully not soon) will raise a few issues. And there might be others I can't even think of right now.

I think you get the idea. it is a lot easier if a person has no family who are JWs or whose family leaves with them. My youngest daughter who has no children wonders how she could lie to her child about Santa Claus. I tell her that she doesn't have to worry about that yet.

I've seen people deal with how to explain an almost empty resume when applying for jobs. You just never know when something might pop up that connects to a past life in a cult.

As we go through each event or issue we build up the skills we need to deal with the next one. Over time it gets easier because we have gone through these things before.

Hope that helps

restrangled

Yes, Lady Lee and others it helps. I keep questioning myself as to why I have to return here and read, vent etc. It all makes sense the way you put it.

Thanks again,

r.

jamiebowers

I want to be informed about what's happening in the borg, because my mom is still firmly entrenched. And I appreciate the education and social support that this board and JWS provide. I try to be of assistance to many people, especially battered women and young people. When I first heard this song, it made me think of the exjw community: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TBO6_u6Mb6s

Quandry

Damn it never ends.

No, it never really does.

drew sagan

Jehovah what now?

I've pretty much moved on in my life, but like to talk about JWs every once and a while so I stop back. It was a good 7 years of my life and I learned a lot about it. Additinally my wife still has family in the org so I like to stay up on what is current. If I had no connections to the WTS then I think I would just forget about it altogeather. Either way I tend to let it all have little effect on my life.

oompa

can't shake it off....can't shake it off................oompa

Letting go, does it really ever happen as an X- JW?

PEC