oompa,
I'm gonna focus on you for a minute...forget your wife.
You gotta let go a little bit.
We know that you've got a lot of shit happening in your life. I sense that you want to "fix" everything, including your wife, in one fell swoop and make everything hunky-dory and ya'll will live happily ever after. You want instant closure. It ain't gonna happen.
Take it one day at a time. Show that your love is unconditional, not hinged on some agreement of religious principles. Don't sweat the little things. Save your hard discussions for the most damning of JW beliefs or practices.
You'll never convince her in one session that the "truth" is all crap. Take it one day at a time...and one issue at a time. You'll take three steps forward, maybe one or two steps back...but you'll still be a step ahead of where you started.
We've talked, you know my situation...I've figured out that as long as one mate remains loyal, even if just in thought and not action, to the bOrg, there will always be tension. It may go away for periods of time, but it's always just under the surface...waiting. When the calm times are around, enjoy them, nurture them. When the JW issues arise be prepared, know your subject and stand your ground...but maintain that your love for her is genuine and everlasting, no matter her personal belief system.