done4: that's an extremely harsh and judgmental thing to say, that he has no self-respect. How do you know what is his motivation other than what he has said? How do you know that it is or is not self-respect that makes him follow this path. Can you grasp the idea that it might be self-respect that motivates him to help his wife, even at some personal cost? Responsible, caring and self-respecting people often do things that are difficult or will cost them precious time, freedom or resources. It seems that he is saying he is doing this because, for right now and for him and his wife, he knows it is right.
Witness 007 returns to wife and meetings..I give up! Sorry no choice!
by Witness 007 52 Replies latest watchtower scandals
-
-
oompa
hey....NOBODY can say if he has no self-respect!......that is pathetic and judgemental...and shopaholic....he did not say he was "willing to spend the rest of his life" in this outfit......he has already proven he is not!....and who are you or anyone else to judge that his is not an "authentic life"!!!.......cmon guys......let go of that flukkin jw mindset!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!.......crap....i went to the meeting today!......and ya........prob most of my friends and elders and for sure my wife knows i am a ragin apostate!!!!!!!......but i did it for my own reasons.....and it turned out well........oompa
not sayin i can do this a lot......but even after bailin on the memorial last year.....i plan on some drugs and or booze to help me go this year!......you miss that and you are TOTALLY APOSTATE!!!
-
LouBelle
There is always a choice.
She says she if nothing else, she needs the congregation, friendships, moral values, of the Witnesses: Question to you is: what has this got to do with you then - surely she can go on ahead and get fully intergrated with the witnesses again - why do you have too go give token service? To help her make friends....surely they will welcome her back.
-
steve2
what has this got to do with you then - surely she can go on ahead and get fully intergrated with the witnesses again - why do you have too go give token service?
Good question LouBelle. As an adult, a reasonable expectation is that this woman would enlist the help of the witnesses to resume contact with them and that she would not use - even unintentionally - emotional blackmail to appeal to her husband to help her go back. When a spouse feels obliged to support their partner's overly-dependent behaviours it's called "co-dependency". As unhealthy as it is, this is how some couples get through life. The clinical literature on co-dependency sheds a lot of light on Witness 007's experiences within his marriage/
-
Odrade
The clinical literature on co-dependency sheds a lot of light on Witness 007's experiences within his marriage
And you made this diagnosis, how? Through counseling sessions with him? Intimate knowledge of the details of 007's thought processes and decision making? Direct observation?
I love how people here throw around diagnosis and evaluation such as "co-dependency," "lack of self-respect," "confused," "hero syndrome," "inauthentic," etc.
-
steve2
And you made this diagnosis, how? Through counseling sessions with him?
Fair comment. I need to be more careful in how I phrase my comments. At the same time I don't want to be treating people like they're fragile and can't handle a different view of their expressed behavior. Goodness knows, if someone opens up about his situation, especially if it's involving a troubled relationship and feeling pressured to do something (e.g., goinmg back to the kingdom hall), he is inviting a variety of responses.
-
SouthCentral
I am going back as well after being away for several years. My children need the discipline and this is and religion is an excellent way for them to get it. My NOT going has actually stiffiled my family's growth. I know of the false teachings, but I accept the lies :-)
-
The-Borg
am going back as well after being away for several years. My children need the discipline and this is and religion is an excellent way for them to get it. My NOT going has actually stiffiled my family's growth. I know of the false teachings, but I accept the lies :-)
-
zagor
I've seen it before, some people just can't cope it mentally when they leave a cult, so for the sake of their mental health is almost better if they are there. We are not all of the same build some take a bit more time (and pounding) and for others... things go so slow that it would pretty much take rest of their lives to get it going. Hope it works out for you.
Wish you all the best mate!
-
steve2
My children need the discipline and this is and religion is an excellent way for them to get it.
Given the huge drop-out rate and the many serious adjustment problems experienced by young people associated with the witnesses, your faith in the religion is absolutely astonishing.
Still, you're the parent and must decide what you think is best for them - it's just a shame that you see such few options for the successful raising of children, especially options inovolving a religion that fails to teach individuals how to think for themselves.