I understand - I truly do
Witness 007 returns to wife and meetings..I give up! Sorry no choice!
by Witness 007 52 Replies latest watchtower scandals
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chickpea
mate, any decision you make
can be revisited and adjusted...
and if for the time being this seems
the most practical, in terms of your
wife's issues.... sometimes the short-term
decision sets us up for the long-term one...best best best to you in this circumstance...
you and your wife.... -
Witness 007
"Blues Brother" I NOW fully understand where your coming from. For the last 4 years I have been strict about not being a Witness and critisizing them non-stop. This has lead to my wife's depression and has backfired to the point of destroying my family which I can't allow. Many people here sometimes attend meetings due to loved ones...it's not worth ending relationships just because it's not "the truth." My wife cannot handle not having a "God" to watch over her, and Witness friends, she is unfolding at the seams and needs this.
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willyloman
007: If your wife is falling apart at the seams and needs this, you have already answered your own question. If there was a question. Do what you feel you have to do. Try to be happy. Just don't drink the Kool Aid!
Be your wife's friend. That's the only way to get out of this w your relationship intact.
Onthewayout makes sense; but for you, that advice might be more practical later on downstream.
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oompa
just OUCH! 007.......I have been considering doing a bit of what BluesBrother is doing.....going to occasional meetings, but wife knows it is only for social reasons and that i will never believe again....me going may be therapy for me too....a reminder of the tiny parts of JW-hood that i can be positive about, and that is basically that there are some good people there, and they are not racists, and they do have a high moral standard (too high imo)......
Your situation is certainly different. your wife must have agreed it was BS if she quit with you. this really seems more a mental issue, and even if she gets some jw friends, and there is no promise of that for sure......she may still have mental issues or depression, and ya....it is normal to be depressed if you have lost all your friends.........
However there is another HUGE issue and that is your marriage and why she asked to to leave?? you mention little about the separation. what is up with that? and you say "the drama continues".....drama gets old man........so i see mental, faith, and marriage issues here, and her loneliness too, how about you? were you lonely or enjoying your quiet time?........i like what OTWO said, don't pretend for her. if you do want to go a bit fine, but i don't see anything wrong with letting her know you still think it is BS, and maybe she does too?.......good luck man.......oompa
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watson
Be ready for the prodigal love bombing. It will feel good...
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Witness 007
Watson "Love bombing" makes me want to throw up on the Kingdom Hall carpet like the Exorcist. Oompa I have enjoyed my quiet time, but I'm that type of person. If I'm lonely I hang out with my wife or dogs no problem. She is more of the social type person. Dropping the Witnesses and hurting herself at work and being isolated from people has led her down this path....I can drop meetings anytime. She asked me about my faith in God now and I just said "I don't know" and I would attend meetings SOMETIMES to be with her and make some friends.
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apocryphal22
I remember a husband that went to meetings for 30yrs just to keep the peace. He didnt comment, sing, etc. I asked him about one time and he said once you get married there are things you just gotta do. Like taking out the trash, dishes....
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Satanus
Reminds me of some husbands that used to accompany their wives to meetings. One was a business man. Another an instructor who worked for the police. They never commented. We knew that they didn't believe. They were reasonably sociable. We always hoped that somehow, something would spark them to our truth. I can understand, now, why some husbands go along, peacably. It's the natural male instinct to be w their females. Sometimes, it's stronger in some guys. Good luck.
S
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cameo-d
She says we have no friends and wants to return to the Witness clan meetings as she is studying with Sisters!
There is her reason right there!
You gotta push the "friends" button.
Seems like you could search out some "couple groups" activities...to get her pointed in the right direction.
You both need uplifting, positive friends...not judgemental religious nut cases.
Is she well enough for something the two of you can do together with others...like maybe a social dancing club? Ballroom dancing? or maybe some group classes learning ethnic dances? It doesn't have to be expensive. My local community center/rec. center teaches dance classes ....everything from Hula to foxtrot and in-between.
What about a painting class together? Some colleges offer community courses that are not expensive. The two of you could do something new together and also be exposed to meeting a lot of new people who have interests the JWs would never think of.
Gardening club? Golf club? ....What has she shown an interest in? Outdoors? Indoors?
I don't think her mental health can ever improve as long as she hangs out at the KH.
She needs some direction and you need to take the lead.