Did You/ Do You Believe Marriages Are Supposed To Be Forever?

by minimus 63 Replies latest social relationships

  • ColdRedRain
    ColdRedRain

    You want to know why divorcees as a rule of thumb are a bad thing to touch? Here's why:

    over 60% of all marriages fail because of these main factors:

    1: Handling of money

    2: Infidelity

    3: Incompatibility

    Now, why should I as a man risk half my wealth on an investment that has only a 40% chance of failure that would wipe me out if I failed, especially since the investment failed beforehand? Should I invest half my wealth in Ford stock hoping that it would rebound and pay great dividends or would it be stupid to do so? Now, granted, there are a lot of women that failed at their marriages through no fault of their own because their husbands were clearly manipulative douchebags.

    On the other hand, a lot of those women had an idealized Hollywood vision of what love is, and no basis in reality the hard work a relationship has to go through. Or they wanted a sugar daddy. Or they wanted arm candy. They proved that they sucked at marriage beforehand.

    So again, why should I put down money on an investment that has failed before? Is it because it's the "right" thing to do? No, the "right" thing to do is to make sure that I have marketable skills that can support a family and so does she. It's also the right thing to make sure that the person I marry would have a realistic world view. It sounds sort of dubbish, I know. But then again, dub marriages don't fail because of those reasons, they fail because most dubs also have a hollywood version of what marriage is supposed to be, and they see marriage as a ticket to free sex rather than an investment, a commitment, an institution to raise a family and a contract.

    Marriage was first started as a contract between a man that needed to ensure that both parties had to make sure that there would be somebody around to defend the house and to make sure that the next generation survives. Men had to be men and women had to be women. A woman that couldn't help on the farm or cook was a liability. A woman that went out to hunt was also a liability, since men by our biology are quite dispensable (Billions of sperm vs 400 eggs). If the woman died, the man would have to both have to and since few women see men with children as something that makes him a capable mate, they bolt. (Ask any single father about dating, it's difficult if not IMPOSSIBLE!) Modern society's changed how the social contract acts.

    Even though how our society changed and now women bring in money as much as men do, we forgot in the societal transition from a traditional marriage and household to the modern one, how to raise children (Both men and women). Many children these days aren't taught how to be assertive (I.E. Men being men and women being women). We let the public schools raise them. Schools are designed to teach facts, not moral lessons. Why? Schools in general have to make sure that everybody gets a fair shot to learn. If people didn't get a fair shot to learn, society will produce low quality workers. So you have children whose confidences are propped up without earning a confidence boost. Hence why it's good to get your children involved in sports ASAP (Another reason why Dub marriages fail: everybody's given a false confidence boost instead of being allowed to compete for something and they don't know what it's like to fail or deal with frustration other than "leaving it to Jehovah").

    That's a perfect recipe for man children and girly women. And hence, why you have many women that IMHO, make for HORRIBLE wives and who are more prone to making a marriage fail. You have a group of egocentric adults who weren't taugh to stick up for themselves, learn good social values (Don't be dishonest and respect other people, play fair and sometimes accepting that the world isn't fair), work hard for anything or be self sufficient. Hence, the record amount of infidelity (A good parent would have trained dishonesty out of a child by a certain age), incompatiability (A child would have been taught the lesson of "If you choose any person to partner yourself to/hang out with/etc, you'll just get any person") or outright failure of many of these marriages (Look before you leap).

    Again, that's a reason why I don't touch a divorcee unless there are special circumstances. They failed before, they'll fail again. I'm not risking half of what I'll earn for somebody who'll give me a 60% chance of screwing me over because of infidelity, incompetence or an attitude clash. When I want to go out, I never take my bike when the forecaster says "a 60% chance of strong to severe storms, may produce damaging winds, hail and frequent lightnining". I simply take the bus.

  • truthsetsonefree
    truthsetsonefree

    I like the five year idea....

  • beksbks
    beksbks

    Whoa!!! Issuezzzzzzz!

  • wha happened?
    wha happened?

    I was a newly baptized JW when I married and I thought it was for eternity. Well the wife had a habit of sleeping around so........, so much for that theory

  • BurnTheShips
    BurnTheShips

    As a general rule, married people seem to prosper more, have better health, etc, compared to lifelong singles.

    Just sayin'

    BTS

  • mrsjones5
    mrsjones5

    I want my marriage to last as long as possible.

  • FlyingHighNow
    FlyingHighNow

    I have been asking myself, "If over 50 % of all marriages in the USA end in heartbreak and divorce. And if the 40 % who remain married include those feeling forced to stay together for the kids, religion or economic reasons, then how many of those married couples are truly happy? Content?" 20%? 15%? Less.

    I am asking myself if perhaps there could be different arrangements from marriage, to replace marriage. Can we ever find someone so compatible that they we don't end up finding the other falling too short in the measure? *Sigh*

  • mkr32208
    mkr32208

    Marriage for life was great when everyone lived to be 30... However living to 80?

    Of course we are going on 14 years...

  • rebel8
    rebel8
    The MAJORITY of people I know who are married either have cheated at least once or have mentioned regret to ever having married.

    From this comment one of the possible conclusions is there is something inherently flawed with marriage itself.

    There are other possibile conclusions.

    Maybe these people you know are not a representative sample.

    Maybe they got married too young or there is some other reason why they are not happy.

    Maybe they are just making bad decisions.

    I believe it is possible to be happily married long-term. I have urges just like everyone else--quite often in fact--but I choose not to act on them. I weigh the consequences of my options and find fidelity to be a better choice.

  • minimus
    minimus

    I think many do not look at consequences. I know of a number of men who are very vocal that they do NOT cheat on their wives. I asked how 2 could make that statement when both guys were getting BJs while on a fishing trip. They sincerely stated: "Blowjobs are not cheating".

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