I think the government should make people wait five years after meeting each other to be married. They should require long engagments. And classes. Couples should be required to take classes and go to workshops and extensive counseling before they are allowed to get married. In many states you have to wait a year to get a divorce. The waiting time should happen BEFORE the wedding. Communal living might work better in the long run. How about couples who live next door to each other and go to their separate homes each night?
Did You/ Do You Believe Marriages Are Supposed To Be Forever?
by minimus 63 Replies latest social relationships
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minimus
Yeah, get the gov't involved. That'll make things better!
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FlyingHighNow
Minimus, the government IS involved already. They require blood tests, license, someone who is legally able to marry a couple. There are all sorts of laws and regulations that affect marriages. There are waiting perios and separation requirements for divorces. You can't just move out and go and marry another person or you will be guilty of bigamy or polygamy. The government could do us all alot more good if their involvement actually worked to discourage incompatible, ill fated couples from hasty, ill prepared decisions and weddings. Maybe the divorce rate would drop and couples could actually make marriages work.
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Barbie Doll
Yes I believe in Marriage and it should be forever.
Only when you are treated right and they don't abuse you, It works both ways.
I feel they should live together first.
I lived with my man for 15 years before I Married him.
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Alco Cop
A couple (man & woman) in a committed relationship should be forever (or death... whichever comes first). I think the term "marriage" itself is way overrated. "
the government IS involved already" Yea, in fact the govt will give two men a marriage license. WTH? Today, a marriage license is a contractural agreement, nothing else (and contracts can be broken, there may be a penalty, but you can get out of a contract).
True love for a partner, I mean actually caring for, appreciating, trusting, and loving each other, in a committed / monogamous relationship, comes from deep inside the individuals and I think (I hope) it can be forever.
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ColdRedRain
So I have "issues" because I would try to choose carefully because the risks of a failed marriage is so high? Most people would call that "choosing wisely".
It's true that the gubment's involved in marriage. But it's to make sure that the marriage contract is enforceable and not something that isn't worth the paper and ink it's printed on. IMHO, government is way involved in marriage as it is anyway. In some states, a person can't marry somebody of their own gender, because the government got way too involved. Two people should make a contract towards each other for anything they want to make a contract about, assuming that both parties aren't of reduced capacity. If it's harmful for one party or the other, too bad. You should do the research beforehand before you get into a contract. (Which is what I'm doing right now so I don't have another failed relationship). The government getting involved any further consists of social engineering, which is something you don't want government doing.
If you want to have a marriage that's renewed every 5 years, it's your business. Write a contract with your partner saying "If we don't feel the same way about each other in 5 years, we'll nullify the marriage". But if you're going to get married to a person and you don't expect that relationship to last more than 5 years, why even get involved in the first place? It might just be better to stay single, party, sleep around (Use protection and contraception first) and go your own way. Some people aren't just fit for commitment and that path might make you happier than staying in a stagnant relationship and breaking the other party's heart.
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beksbks
You have issues because you are talking about finding a best friend as though you are buying a house. Good luck on that.
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ColdRedRain
If my best friend were to be entitled to my house if we divorced or lied about me abusing him or her and would get my house until I was proven innocent, then yeah I'd be picky.
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yknot
What is the point of getting married if you don't think it will be 4-ever?
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John Doe
"til death do you part." So yeah, if one thinks it's not forever, they probably shouldn't be getting married.