@ mouthy - well you certainly have been through the mill and deserve a lot of credit and respect for making it thus far. Also for sharing your thoughts on a public discussion forum - hats off to you.
Believing the good die young is irrational and certainly not a Christian belief. Are there no good old people? Are there bad babies that survive? Sorry - it may be comforting to you having lost children but it doesn't make any sort of logical sense.
Asking me whether I would pray if I was holding my child with the nearness of his death imminent is putting me on the horns of a dilemma. If I say no I wouldn't pray, I may come across as a heartless, arrogant, immature atheist who hasn't had the shattering life experiences you have. If I say yes I would pray, it makes a mockery of my current atheistic position. Firstly my faith and hope would be in the skills of the medical community. Secondly I would recognise that infant mortality rates are much lower than say 60 years ago - and we have science, not religion, to thank for that. I strongly disbelieve in a magick man in the sky picking and choosing which babies live or die. Which brings us back around to what you were thanking God for when you survived the bombing? And what did the other 42,000,000 civilians who died do wrong? I guess every last one of them was young and good......:-)