Confessing

by STRUGGLE 116 Replies latest jw friends

  • joel
    joel

    larc,

    If my comments were inappropriate for Struggles situation...I apologize.

    My comments were my thoughts on confessing in general...and not intended to say what anyone SHOULD do in this area.

    Love certainly extended to one going through these type of decisions.

    Pax,
    joel

  • larc
    larc

    Joel,

    Your words were good words, and I'm sorry for bringing you up short like I did. I was trying to make a point to Struggling, that after five pages of advice and concern that we expressed, she ultimately is the one who has to make the decision. I know I sound harsh to you and her right now, and I know how much our words have meant to her, because I went back today and read everything she wrote to us. I am just saying Struggle, with all of our advice we can't decide. At some point you have to. Not deciding is what tears people up.

  • STRUGGLE
    STRUGGLE

    Indeed Larc, thanks for the support, I don't think you wre harsh. I've pretty much made up my mind. When I said a series of things I was talking about the elders, not a series of things that that I did. Again this is an investigating committee to determine if their is a need for jc. I told the brothers a man was involve, not what happen, but that something did happen.
    They know I talk with my brothers. I guess being the youngest this is something I have always done. Even people who still go to the hall speak to them when they see them. They never da'd themselves verbally or were dis'f. Besides who am I to judge?

    Joel thanks for the advice, I know that in the end Jehovah is the one
    who decides not man. I understood what you were saying.

    Edited by - Struggle on 12 January 2001 4:30:58

  • thinkers wife
    thinkers wife

    Struggle,
    Just one last piece of advice (I think). Speaking from experience, it is very hard to keep your head together when you are sitting in front of the elders. I tend to get hysterical and not think things through when put on the spot. Larc's advice to think it all through and decide exactly what you are willing to reveal ahead of time, is excellent advice. Kind of like making a grocery list and sticking to it once you get to the store.
    You know we all care about you and what happens to you!!
    Much love, hugs and warmth are coming your way from here.
    TW

  • thinkers wife
    thinkers wife

    Harmony,
    Your good sense and compassion come shining through in your posts. Again welcome.
    I'm wondering if we know each other. I know a girl named Harmony who is about your age. Wouldn't that be interesting.
    TW

  • peaceloveharmony
    peaceloveharmony

    tw-

    email me at [email protected]

    thanks for the kind words!

    wouldn't it be weird if we did know each other!

    love harmony

    Edited by - peaceloveharmony on 12 January 2001 14:30:5

  • STRUGGLE
    STRUGGLE

    Update. I had my meeting, they did not ask and I did not tell them.
    I did tell them that I was spiritually weak, tired, I don't go out in service, that I love this man, I don't know if I can stay away from him. Have been to his place before. They will talk to the other elders, and I have another meeting later this week.

    This is the best I can do now. Jehovah is my judge, Jesus Christ my redeemer. If this means I miss out on paradise, then so be it. It is my choice. I am at peace with myself at this point and time.

  • RedhorseWoman
    RedhorseWoman

    Struggle, you will NOT miss out on Paradise. Jehovah knows your heart, and he knows that your desire is to do good things. The WTBTS NEEDS to use the "carrot and the stick" to keep people out there selling magazines. They NEED to make you feel unworthy so that you will work even harder for the corporation.

    I don't know if you've read the thread started by MoodyBlue, but in that I posted a quote from Steven Hassan's website. He is a former Moonie, and is now working as a counselor for people who have been involved with cultlike groups.

    I know that you believe the JW's have the "truth", and I'm not trying to tell you that you should quit the religion. However, if you could read that list, I'm sure that you will understand more about "high-control" groups and the way they operate. People are always kept in fear of "losing out on paradise" if they don't follow all the rules.

    Jesus, on the other hand, gave a very simple message. He offered redemption to all who believe in him. Very simple.

    Struggle, you are in love. This should be a wonderful time of discovery for you. You made a mistake, and it has bothered your conscience. You've confessed to Jehovah....it is done. Please don't torture yourself with this. You are NOT repeatedly sinning, and you KNOW that the elders cannot "forgive" you. All they can do is to use punitive measures that will accomplish nothing in the long run.

    Many people spend their whole lives looking for a special person. You have found one. Spend time together, enjoy one another's company.....LIVE!

    Please don't beat yourself up any longer. ****HUGS****

  • thinkers wife
    thinkers wife

    Struggle,
    Glad to hear you are at peace with yourself.
    Absolutely RHW is correct, in everything she says. It reflects my exact sentiments!!!
    Read and reread it and take it heart. For it is true.
    Thank you for letting us know. Looking forward to hearing from you again very soon.
    TW

  • Carmel
    Carmel

    Well you guys have finally got to me! Gonna make me get on my mounting blocks and scream.. Who the hell do JW elders think they are to sit and examine the personal lives of the faithfull? If I recall the Jdubs were critical of Catholics going to confession, but what is the difference confessing to three undereducated, self righteous "elders"?

    Personally, nothing in a religion should set out to destroy the dignity of a person, no matter what the crime or "sin". Noone has the authority to assume they have the right to impose their narrow minded interpretation of the holy writ on someone else.

    Anyone going to an elder to "confess" is enabling the dysfunctional system.

    I'm sure by now I'm preaching to the choir

    carmel

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