by STRUGGLE 116 Replies latest jw friends
Yes it is indeed a struggle! I was thinking about confessing everything at a later time. Not revealing everything. Again I know from past experience I may be really digging myself in a hole.
I don't want to stop seeing him, yet at the same time I don't wish to break Jehovah God's law again. This is my thinking, if you do wrong you put a smile on satan's face, not my goal, while at the same time you hurt Jehovah, our life giver.
Hey Struggle,
By some of your expressions, may I ask if you've been raised in the jw organization?
if you do wrong you put a smile on satan's face,
No, imo, if we do wrong, we must first consider who taught us that it was wrong/not wrong. If we then, on a personal level, consider it wrong, I don't think Satan is really, really, that interested in us. Rather goes back to the thinking of Satan and his demons watching to see if the sisters were wearing bikini/thong underwear.
In retrospect, perhaps he has other things to do than watch sisters in bed or in their underwear.
As for you, my dear, how much actual reading and Biblical research have you done on the organization you're throwing your life and happiness in front of? There is an excellent book called Crisis of Conscience by Ray Franz (very balanced and insightful) which would behoove you to read - and hopefully your significant other would read also. Look at both sides - investigate.
You are presenting yourself as the victim in this scenario - you're not. It's up to you to decide what you want - educate yourself. Quite being torn into by your emotions. If you want this man as your own - go for it. If you want the WTBTS, find out who the hell you're giving your life to.
Obviously, I've had a bit too much wine and I still feel you, girl, are the one in power - if you only decide to do so......
waiting
Edited by - waiting on 28 December 2000 20:38:8
Yes I was raised in the truth. Third generation JW. But I did'nt get baptize until I was in my 20's. Yes I am torn emotionally. Sometimes I just want to go away and start all over where no one knows me.
What is interesting is that I could have married a brother. But he stop going to the meetings. He has been dis'f for two years. Now ironically here I am dating this quote, unquote wordly man. Who by the way is really nice, with good values.
Go ahead girl and enjoy your wine!
Edited by - Struggle on 28 December 2000 21:17:50
Hey Struggle,
We all get to crossroads in our lives, sometimes more than once. Whatever our choices, life goes on. I know it's not easy, but your "worldly man" sounds like he's found a place in your heart.
Maybe give yourself some breathing room? Read and study some about this organization who takes rule over your body & mind? Then, think about all your choices. Perhaps you can move away, perhaps not.
But you do have choices, if you sit back and look at them. Don't give them up so easily to other persons, whether to your "worldly man" or a group of three almost-strangers.
Think - and decide. It's your life. Enjoy it ultimately.
waiting
i agree with thinker, as far as GOD and our relationship to HIM is concerned. it's based on our relating to HIM and HIM alone. i really do not think a church or org. is needed, however we do need the fellowship of like minded ones who are seeking the LORD.
i personally love going to church and the one i go to is filled with great people. i miss on occasion due to what ever but feel no guilt when i do, unlike when i was a jw. i can have contact and fellowship when ever i want to with my FAther. don't gotta do no watchtower study to worship my GOD!!!!
i never did study real hard..i could scan a paragraph , underline it, highlight a few quotes and be done in 20 min. most of the books were sooo boring, there was no challenge to read them, as i love to read and do it alot.
but, the bible is a whole new realm for me since i met JESUS. it's exciting, new, eye-opening and hope full('cept the geneology parts..yawn)
i think when we sin and disobey our CReator, we know it, and don't need a committee of men to rake us over the coals, digging for dirt in our lives. the coolest thing i ever learned was that GOD truely forgives us, and it's between HIM and us..not 3 guys in a kh back room
and having HIM in our hearts makes us want to please Him and do better, though we are sinners, but that's why Jesus died for us... a perfect plan!!!
happy new year all
Struggle, I can understand your feelings of being torn by your relationship. However, as you've already seen, finding a husband in the "truth" does NOT mean that you have found a good man.
So many sisters have held on to the mistaken belief that all you need is the unity of a marriage "in the Lord". This is a fallacy that has been proven time and time again. One sister in my original congregation was the daughter of an elder. She pioneered, and married a pioneer who quickly became a ministerial servant and was well on his way to becoming an elder.
They had four lovely children and everything seemed to be absolutely wonderful.....until he murdered a woman in order to get money to support the cocaine habit he had been hiding for years. He is now in prison.
Then, one of my best friends married an elder's son. He beat her, tried to run her down with their car when she was pregnant, and later molested their daughter. Nothing ever happened to him because his Dad had a lot of "pull" in the congregation. My girlfriend was considered bad association, however, when she finally divorced the guy.
Do NOT throw your life away without researching exactly what kind of organization you would be sacrificing it for. Please take care and do what is best for YOU.
Edited by - RedhorseWoman on 28 December 2000 23:13:0
This is Thinkers Wife
Redhorse and Waiting have given some really good advice. Not to slight the others they have too.
I guess this is what I was really trying to say to you in an earlier post. You MUST decide what is is that you want. Then pursue that. Look in your heart and figure out what you really want. Otherwise you will continue to sit on the fence and feel guilty and be miserable.
None of us can tell you what to do. Well we could, but that wouldn't do any of us any good.
You just have to decide what it is that you really want. But be educated and make an informed decision.
Thinkers Wife
Thank You for the good incite.
I have seen within my congregation also where the brohters seem to side with the husband. One wife was subjected to extreme verbal abuse for years, she got no help when she went to the elders, finally she left, move out of state. This was not a young couple. Now he sits alone, and I am sure the wife has some peace of mind.
I know I have choices, but as I have stated earlier I beleive in Jehovah, and some passages in the bible are plain and simple. I'll
probaly have my meeting sunday or monday, I'll let you know what my choice was. And yes this man does have my heart!
You see if I don't tell everything, then here I sit at the kh listening to talks about sex, pricking still at my concsience.
I don't wish to offend any of you, but I am still going to my meetings with Jehovah's help no matter what, no church for me. If I did'nt go to the hall, then I would not go anywhere.
With out a doubt Jehovah is the final judge. I am off to work now and I hope you all have a good day.
One more thing, have any of you had someone close to you die and would like to see them in paradise? I have, that weighs on my mind also, about coming clean. Agape!
Edited by - Struggle on 29 December 2000 9:15:42
no problem thinker / thinkers wife
The new version of the forum software that I'm working on will let you have a separate alias (display name) to the one you use to logon with but you can't do that yet so you'll have to stay as thinker for now. If you want it changed I can but you'd have to enter it when posting (if you use the 'remember logon details' option it won't be too bad though).
I don't know what you mean with the search thing - is it to be able to search for post by person? I agree, that would be neat and useful. Just don't enter 'waiting' 'cause you'd be there all day!
Hey Simon,
Just don't enter 'waiting' 'cause you'd be there all day!
Well, at least it's entertaining in a perverse way.
Rather playful for your usual english manners, don't you think, Simon?
waiting
