30 Years Old and Going on My First Date Ever -- Urgent Advice Needed

by neverendingjourney 49 Replies latest social relationships

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  wantstoleave

  How exciting!! Above all else - just be yourself. Don't stare at her alot, because that will creep her out. The odd glances are ok, then sneakily look away and she'll feel flattered. But don't ever stare. It's just a big turn off.

  Like someone else said, don't overdo the aftershave. Just a dab. Women do like clean smelling, fresh men. Make sure your hands are moisturised and not rough and cracked. Even if you don't hold hands, she'll look at them - trust me. Oh, and fresh breath. That's a must!

  Take her somewhere public, where distractions can take the conversation on a tangent. Try not to do one on one at a cafe or restaurant unless you're really good at keeping conversation.

  Turning up with a single rose would be a nice touch. Not cheesy and it doesn't overdo it. Just shows that you're a gentleman :)
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  neverendingjourney

  Be affectionate but do not kiss her goodnight.

  I don't plan to go in for the kiss unless I sense a really strong connection. I think women are very nervous on internet dates because you never know who the other person really is, and rightfully so. I'll save that for later dates.

  the Botchtower Corporation experts!

  Listening to those guys...what a fantastic way to screw up a relationship! Their dating advice sounds like you're seeking out a business partner, not a lover.

  Bring a sweet bouquet or a single daisy or rose.

  I'm thinking of bringing along a single yellow rose. Hopefully that won't come across as desperate or tacky.

  Talk about the NEW WORLD ORDER and how 9/11 was an inside job.

  I met her on E-Harmony, not a Ron Paul convention.

  As a lot of people know here I met Mrs. Flipper on E-harmony-been happily married 3 years.

  I remember reading your posts describing how you met your wife. That's wonderful! I'm not necessarily looking for a wife. I just want to get some real life dates under my belt so I can get to that point. I have some complaints about E-Harmony, but that's a whole other thread.

  Turning up with a single rose would be a nice touch. Not cheesy and it doesn't overdo it. Just shows that you're a gentleman :)

  Thanks for the advice!
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  yknot

  Yellow Rose?

  I thought a yellow rose symbolized friendship or 'I am sorry' hoping these roses bring you joy, roses?.....(unless you know in advance that yellow is her favorite color rose)

  May I suggest a white, white with a blush of light pink at the tip or pale delicate pink instead........ white suggests sophisticated sincerity, while light pink suggest romance or beauty.

  ...... best wishes.....
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  Nosferatu

  Be affectionate but do not kiss her goodnight.

  
  
  WTF? Why not? It's a date, therefore END IT LIKE A DATE! If he doesn't kiss her, he'll just make a female friend. He doesn't need another friend, he needs a companion.
  
  

  Bring a sweet bouquet or a single daisy or rose.

  
  
  NO NO NO! Bring nothing but yourself. A rose will show her that you want to be romantic, and women do NOT like romance with a guy they don't know. It's creepy. Again, bring nothing but yourself. Besides, if she doesn't like you, you didn't waste your money on stinky flowers.
  
  ...and Elsewhere has been reading my brain
  
  Here's my recipe for a successful first date:
  
  First, you pick the day, time, event, and place. DO NOT make it a shitty boring evening. In other words, no movie and dinner. Like elsewhere said, make it interactive. A coffee date is always perfect for a first date. If you decide she's worth persuing, take her somewhere else after the coffee date. If she's a bitch or she's ugly, end the coffee date and take her home.
  
  Taking a woman somewhere else right after a coffee date will speed up the process a little bit. Again, make it something interesting and interactive. Mini-golf, bowling, rollerskating, or even shopping works great.
  
  Arrive late on the first date. Five minutes is good. It gets her thinking about you, where you are, what might have happened to you, if you're still interested, etc. One thing you'll learn in the dating world is that women like the assholes more than the nice guys. Doing the occasional "asshole" thing (like showing up late) will score you points. I could go deeper into how it works, but we'll leave that for another post.
  
  Don't talk about mundane things. Be playful. Make fun of her for always getting the gutter ball, pat her on her head and tell her she's cute, etc. Let your fun, child-like qualities shine.
  
  TOUCH HER. This is really, really important. I don't mean grab her ass, but touch her non-sexually. You need to give her a physical indication that you're not afraid of her, and that YES, you ARE sexually interested in her. To be sexual, you need to touch. If you don't touch, you will never be sexual with her. Get into a poking war, tickling matches, play with her dangly earrings, rest your leg against hers, basically ANYTHING that gets the two of you touching.
  
  After you've been having fun, touching, teasing, and all the good stuff associated with the first date, you will have NO PROBLEM going in for the kiss at the end of the date. In fact, she may speed things up herself by initiating the first kiss during the date, or holding your hand - if she's having a good enough time.
  
  And that my friend is a recipe for a successful first date. If you don't get to the first kiss by the end of the SECOND date, then you have made yourself a new friend and will continue to find yourself mate-less.
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  Nosferatu

  This is a concept known as "negging." Apparently it works wonders.

  The example Elsewhere gave about 'being clumsy' was NOT a neg-hit. A neg is an insult disguised as a compliment, and should ONLY be used on women who are snobs or are stuck-up. Best one I ever used: "That's a nice wooly purse, did your grandma knit that?" It's not a direct insult, nor is it a direct compliment. It's a little bit of both.

  It also should ONLY be used on an initial approach. A woman who has already opened up to you will be insulted if you neg her. There is a right time, a right place, and a right woman to use a neg-hit. If used correctly, it will get that stuck-up bitch to open up to you.
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  JimmyPage

  Like everyone else said, just be yourself. But if you really want a second date, say "There's nothing I like better than going down on a woman for hours at a time." Hope that helps!
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  Robdar

  There is a right time, a right place, and a right woman to use a neg-hit. If used correctly, it will get that stuck-up bitch to open up to you.

  Only if she is an idiot who likes to date assholes.
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  rebel8

  1 flower I'd say is fine if you have already had Internet/phone chats. A bouquet, IMHO, would make me think either this man is a bazillionaire trying to wine and dine me or he's a little too pushy. I wouldn't dismiss him just for that, but I would be trying to assess what's up.

  This is good advice:

  A coffee date is always perfect for a first date. If you decide she's worth persuing, take her somewhere else after the coffee date. If she's a bitch or she's ugly, end the coffee date and take her home.

  Re the kissing, I always felt after a kiss-free date: he's not attracted to me, and obviously because I didn't take the initiative either, I'm not attracted to him. Spending the whole first date dodging a too touchy-feely guy is bad, on the other hand.
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  keyser soze

  Here are some helpful tips that have worked well for me in the past:

  1. Women like compliments. If you think she has nice breasts, or a nice backside, don't be afraid to let her know.

  2. If you notice other attractive women in the restaurant, feel free to point them out to her. This will show that you are observant, and attentive to detail.

  3. Spend an inordinate amount of time talking about sports and cars. This will show her that you are articulate, and capable of carrying on a meaningful conversation.

  4. When reaching into your coat or wallet, make sure a condom "accidentally" falls out. This will show her that you are responsible, and always prepared.

  5. Call your mother at least three times over the course of the evening. This will show her that you are a sensitive, caring and family-oriented guy who loves his mother.

  6. Most important of all- when dinner is finished, and the bill comes, hand it to her. This will show her that you are an enlightened male who doesn't buy into archaic gender roles and stereotypes, that you don't feel emasculated when a women buys you dinner.

  Best of luck to you!
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  RubaDub

  Just be patient.

  When you meat her, you'll know if things really click or not.

  Rub a Dub