30 Years Old and Going on My First Date Ever -- Urgent Advice Needed (page 5)

sir82

When you meat her, you'll know if things really click or not.

Oh my....

Isn't that a bit much for a first date?

Robdar

It might be a better idea to keep your meat to yourself, sailor.

SnakesInTheTower

NEJ:

I just want to get some real life dates under my belt so I can get to that point. I have some complaints about E-Harmony, but that's a whole other thread.

that is essentially why I went on eHarmony...I feel bad in a way..the gals were my guinea pigs....always hoping for something to click but not counting on it..didnt want to set myself up for failure. I was on eHarmony for 13 months... the two women I went on in person dates with were both single moms..we went to places like Panera (called something else here), and another restraunt in a mall..went looking at x-mas stuff.....but no spark, but we enjoyed our dates. I think all of the gals I emailed or phone called were single moms except for one...and she and I remained online/phone friends for awhile but I knew we were not compatible. She eventually ended that friendship.

Those dates helped me to get over that first date problem, having been raised a JW...the initial dates gave me some idea what to expect, not make some mistakes again. On the eharmony dates, I never kissed either of the two on the first or second date (there were no third dates)...the chemistry was just not there.

Conversely, when I went on the first date where I asked someone out without the assistance of eHarmony, a date with my now fiancee, the chemistry was (and is still) there but I wasnt sure about how much/if, etc kiss was appropriate...at the end of our date as I was dropping her at apartment....she answered that for me immediately. She gave me a long, deep, and passionate kiss...took my breath away....

as for what where we went on that first date...I took her to a local diner for breakfast (brunch) where we shared a meal...omelets...which is still her favorite and I make them at home for us on Sunday mornings......then across the river to a historic river town for coffee at two different places...(my original romantic plan was to go to a winery, but turns out we are both coffee addicts, so plans can be changed as you go) a walk along the river (on the Katy Trail), more coffee and people watching, lots of talking..... the chemistry was there...but at anytime, had it not been, I could have ended it diplomatically..... I had an agenda....list of possiblethings to do...but only revealed them as we went along.... the more comfortable we got, the more time we wanted to spend together.....

We went to the same places a few months later, in a different order, when I proposed to her on a bench (yes on one knee), under a tree, in view of the river, along the Katy Trail, at nearly the same place as she first took my hand on our first date . The diner and the historic town are still our favorite places to go on a daytime date. We only recently, after over 5 months, went on a night time dinner date (for her birthday)....

..My first couple of dates with women from eharmony went OK...but I guess my first "real" date (non eHarmony) went well....she and her 8YO son now live with me we are planning a January wedding. NEJ....I hope you enjoy your first date, no matter how it goes. Allow yourself flexibility in the dates....what you might have planned might not be something she likes..... spontaniety is great alongside some planned aspects of the date.

I am no expert...just damned lucky to find the love of my life (but understanding exactly how you feel.) Good luck.

Snakes (Rich )

aSphereisnotaCircle

neverendingjourney

that is essentially why I went on eHarmony

You and I started posting on here right around the same time, if I remember correctly. I followed your story for a while, but for the past 6 months or so I haven't been keeping up with JWD as much as I used to. I just find myself having less of an interest in all things JW. JWism at times feels like a distant memory. It's just that reality decides to bitch slap me in the face every now and then, like with the this whole dating thing, for instance.

I remember reading some of your posts a while back where you mentioned going on some dates via E-Harmony. I also remember reading about your new g/f, although I had no idea you were engaged. Congratulations! I know you were considering sending in a D/A/ letter. Did you go ahead with those plans or did you decide to let things be? I must have missed your update posts on that. Anyhow, I appreciate your advice. Wish me luck.

Luo bou to

What Keysore soze said

And be sure to talk incessantly about your previous love interest . How devoted you were to her and how she broke your heart. This will let her know that you are the kind of Guy who can make a deep commitment.

Oh and Good Luck. You'll need it if you follow our advice

serendipity

Ask questions. When men don't ask me questions, they don't get to a second date.

Good luck! Let us know how it went.

rabidewok

Hi, Just remember that No means Yes and you will be fine! Just kidding, be yourself always and you will never go wrong. Sometimes your compatible and sometimes not. You will know within the first hour. Hope i helped

cameo-d

Hi neverending.

My advice would be...

...if you are up to a one on one personal conversation....Oompa suggested phone talk for awhile before meeting. I think thatis probably a good idea.

...if you want to keep things light and social, plan activities where there will be other people around and have group fun. Like the hayride idea someone suggested. Or maybe a river cruise on a party boat. Or a "tourist attraction" that may be of interest. (theme park, zoo, museum, ) Maybe check your local library for guest speakers/authors events.

...For a first date, I would suggest daylight hours rather than evening. Maybe a lunch date or an afternoon activity. Good suggestion earlier....always include a food event in your entertaining. Even if its just a hot dog stand in the park.

...The two hour time limit per Robdar is good advice for first date. (Reminds me of the suitor's candle!)

...a "smooch" on first date is too forward.

30 Years Old and Going on My First Date Ever -- Urgent Advice Needed

nelly136