Elder called last night and they are stopping by tonite for a 'visit'.......

by troubled mind 82 Replies latest jw friends

  • Think About It
    Think About It

    He finally opened up to me his feelings ,basically he said what would be the point of going back, they have already proven themselves to be conditional friends. He realizes you can only be accepted if you fit the mold of at least 10 hours of service time ,doesn't matter if you have a good heart or are a descent person you just have to fit the mold.

    I like what you said in this part. After 4 yrs they want to visit!!! Like your husband said, they have already proved themselves to be conditional friends. Would have been a good opportunity to tell them that and that there is no need for a visit. You know where the KH is and will be there if you feel the need.

    More than likely this is a visit to snoop or fish for how you answers questions. The "Do you feel this is God's Org?" question is bound to come out. You've got 2000+ posts......I doubt you are interested in going back. The best thing a person who wants to leave can do is to take their presumed power & authority over you away from them. I like when people just leave and don't follow the WTS rules that they have to DA or be DF'd.

    P.S Just seen this posted by OTWO. Oh, and I disagree with the "advantage" of meeting in your own home. If I met with elders, it would be someplace I felt free to leave at anytime. It's easier to walk away, just saying "I gotta go," than insist that someone else do so.

    I actually like this approach. You could tell them your hubby was taking you out for a treat and to meet you at McDonald's or something for a sundae. If they are really wanting to encouage you this would be a good fellowship setting. If they want to grill you, they will be more apprehensive and if you don't like where the conversation is going you can always come up with a reason to leave. I like this approach, because it's even though you are meeting with them you are taking some of their presumed power away.

    Think About It

  • mindmelda
    mindmelda

    I'd call and cancel if you don't want them over. Find a good excuse, not that hard.

    You're under no obligation to see or talk to anyone you don't want to. Even the police have to have a search warrant.

  • Scarred for life
    Scarred for life

    I don't think it is rude to cancel. It is your home. You did not invite them. It sounds to me like you have no real reason to see them or talk to them. Your time would be better spent finding out about the next ex-JW meetup. Time to move on and make new friends.

  • LittleSister
    LittleSister

    Good Luck

    It’s great that this has been a catalyst for you and your hubby to open up to each other he is right these guys aren't coming because they care about you, but because they feel its their duty.

  • besty
    besty

    1 elder after 4 years = somebody's conscience got the better of them

    2 elders after 4 years = 2 witnesses to everything you say = DF in absentia if they so chose

    I would cancel the meeting and say you will get back to them when you are ready. Nothing good will come of this, other than if you tell them to F**k off.

  • chickpea
    chickpea

    good luck with whatever the outcome of the evening is to be

    thought i would share a line of reasoning i used once...
    it wasnt actually a shepherding call TM , just a car group TM
    stopping over a few years back to give me an invitation
    to memorial TM , and my response to "we miss you" TM was:

    my family and i are so much happier now that we no
    longer marinate in a doomsday atmosphere... i just
    can't go back to that

    (no one calls any more, and yet it seems i am yet
    to be announced from the platform TM since there
    are those who still offer public greetings.... )

  • Kum Vulcan
    Kum Vulcan

    There is something else you can throw at them suggest.

    Pull out a tape recoreder and state that the session will be recorder for your personal archives. If there are words of encouragement, you can listen to themm over and over, right?

    In any event, they can't call it a JC hearing. Taping is a no-no , as youl probably know...

    Tell us how they did .

    -KV

  • Scarred for life
    Scarred for life

    I think if you allow them into your home you are giving them power. Do you really want to do that? You have control of your own life now.

  • yknot
    yknot

    ... I suppose if you really don't wanna talk but don't wanna cancel either......

    You could very politely write a few words and hand them the letter when they arrive.....

    A nice middle of the road..... commentary might be:

    Dear Brothers,
    We appreciate you calling on us. However after 4 years without receiving any encouragement or notice of our absence (Luke 15:4-7), it feels awkward and 'forced'. I am not sure what we could really say to each other besides the standard suggestions of meeting attendance and FS. Please know that we do keep abreast of all things Watchtower, we do discern Heb 10:25.....but well to be honest with you..... We have been stumbled and talking about it at this time just brings up heated and unpleasant emotions. It is not just a mere case of forgiveness, rather feelings of distrust and lacking confidence enough to enable respect. We ask that you pray for us, showing mercy and even perhaps consider your past actions so as not to stumble others in the congregation. Until these things can be resolved in our minds and hearts we are ever waiting on Jehovah. Again we appreciate you taking the time to 'reach-out', when the emotions have stopped simmering, we shall seek to rekindle our relationship with the congregation of (Insert offical name specifically-not the WTS as a whole) or perhaps consider another congregation. (Actually, now would be the time for us to seek our publisher cards from this congregation so that we may transfer them when have regained our spiritual strenght--) Other than contacting us about retrieving our publishing cards over the course of next week, we ask you to respect our privacy during this tribulation, should we feel the need for guidance or whatnot not found in the publications, we will seek to speak to a qualified Brother immediately. Until then, please refrain from calling on us in such a manner as this visit again.
    Sincerely Brother & Sister Troubled Mind
  • dissed
    dissed

    I agree with others, its not too late to postpone cancel the meeting. This happens all the time in the sheperding controlling work. Their feelings will not be hurt, and you and your husbands stress level will remain low.

    And congrats on you and your husbands lines of WT communication opening up further. That is really great news!

Share this

Google+
Pinterest
Reddit