Elder called last night and they are stopping by tonite for a 'visit'.......

by troubled mind 82 Replies latest jw friends

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  troubled mind

  I have no problem having them in my house because believe me if they can not follow common courtesy and pleasant conversation THEY WILL BE SHOWN THE DOOR ! (my son asked if he could sit at the kitchen table and clean his guns while they are here ,ha)

  I guess I am not worried about this at all ....because i am a different person than I was four years ago ,I am much stronger and content in my life .And believe me they no longer hold any kind of power over me as far as I am concerned . I want the oppurtunity to say to this old time "friend" a few things right to his face . I am in no mood for games of hide and seek .

  I will play nice if he plays nice .

  It is something I think I have to do for myself a sense of empowerment I guess is what it is ....idk
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  Darth plaugeis

  Good for you Troubled mind. I know you will feel alot better. I did. After their last visit which was their last visit I knew I had nothing to miss or regret. Hiding only makes them feel superior. I said it before I'll say it again Truly being Free from them is awesome.
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  AudeSapere

  I don't envy this situation.

  Be prepared for the "Do you still consider yourself one of Jehovah's Witnesses?" question.

  I agree with Besty: One elder, he's been thinking of you. Two elders, could be foundation of a JC.

  If you decide to go ahead with the meeting, I hope it goes your way.

  -Aude.
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  daringhart13

  oh no.....as an ex-elder.....

  DON'T DO IT
• 

  undercover

  I had elders reappear after a long stint of nothing to do with anything JW. I spoke of it on a couple of threads. My situation was different...they contacted me a week or so before the Memorial. I was worried about it being more, but it ended up being their typical "contact the inactive and make sure they're aware of the date/time/place for the Memorial".

  Another thing could be that it's getting close to CO visit time, which means the elders will be scrutinized about whether they made an effort to reach all the inactive ones in the territory since the last visit. Let's hope that it's something like that.

  My visit ended up anti-climatic. They tried to be encouraging without really harping on any one subject. They never pushed or questioned or anything. It was almost like once they left, they checked off a box with my name next to it...till at least next year.

  It is a stressful situation...I had all this worked up how I was gonna deal with any accusations. But I ended up letting them do all the talking. I didn't offer anything, I didn't answer anything. And comments were quick and to the point. I learned pretty quick they weren't there to address any one thing, they were just checking off a list of calling on inactive ones. In that case, it's best to just let them ramble on. Once they say their thing, they're more apt to want to leave when you show that you're not going to open up any more than you already have.
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  I quit!

  Sometimes I wonder if they ever really give up. They came and saw me probably a good 15 years after I sent a formal letter of resignation.

  I've never done this but I think if I ever get another chance here is what I would do. I would agree to meet with them but the catch would be I would invite them and their wives over for pizza. If they don't consider themselves friends enough with me to eat with me then there would be no point in meeting with them. I doubt they would come on those terms. If it is too short of a notice for them I would tell the to hold off on the meeting till they can come for dinner.
• 

  yknot

  Let us know how it all works out.......

  (Thank you willyloman...... I assumed that Mr.Troubled Mind had not been an Elder before.....so ignorance of procedure and suggesting them hand over the pub cards was for 'dramatic' purposes to convey the depth of stumbling--- granted being pain in the boat I would make the Elders explain why and back it up with BOE LTRs---)
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  Darth plaugeis

  Last post from me today.

  I'm confused.. some have family still inside, so I can understand alittle of caring what Elders motives are. I have children who are very active and yes I am to blame for raising them up that way believing I was doing the ABSOLUTE RIGHT thing. Once you realize you are involved in a CULT, it is simple. Who cares what they think or want to do to you? I am not judging anyone, I stopped judging when I left. I'm really confused about hearing 2 Elders and it is a JC. They could accuse me of Worshiping the Devil, and eating children as part of the ceremonies. Why would I care, if you stop going they create lies about your life or lifestyle. The experiences I've read here show me that what I thought was only happening to me, opened my eyes. Many have said it "They don't care for you. They don't show love for one another" we have all seen it first hand. I wouldn't waste my time sitting with them today. I wouldn't waste my cell mins. talking to them on the phone either. I'm glad I met with them when they showed up. I felt free after. Again I know everyone's circumstances are different. So I am not judging. I have no idea if they DF'd me or Marked me or anything, and to use another link I saw the other day from this forum Jimmy Cracked Corn.... After my meeting with Elders, years later some MS's came to my door, knowing I was living there. I showed them in 2 minuets what a NC17 movie was all about if they already didn't know. Healing takes time and sometimes you never heal ... sad but true. I respect everyone on this board and the comments are truly HEARTFELT and sincere. My Dad taught me (not a JW) if someone stabs you in the back, don't let them do it again. We all were stabbed in the back. When you were strong in the truth,and had a problem in your life,did you feel the love from others or was that problem minimized or it was your fault. You weren't strong enough in the truth.. you don't rely on Jah enough. Remember hearing that? I guess I hear alot of becarful and things like that and it is good advice for those still unsure what they want to do. If you decide not to meet with Elders, correct me if I'm wrong, they can still have a meeting about you,without you. Like I said I'm just confused at what seems to be worrying about Elders from those who know they are Nobodies. Sorry for the rant.

  You can a meeting about me,if you want Hahaha

  Love you all

  Darth Plaugeis

  ps I'm out of posts bye
• 

  truthseekeriam

  My husband and I decided not meet with the elders under any circumstances because we are pretty sure they are to get us. They have used my friends to come in and "act" supportive in order to gather information and then they disappear and wont answer my calls or texts.

  I'm personally so done with all of them and I wouldn't trust any elder. Please be careful, I can't help but to think they are trying to get something on you because we all know it's not LOVE.... I hope I'm wrong, but I have tons of reasons to never trust them again.
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  OnTheWayOut

  I know you are probably being encouraged here to join Ex-JW groups and I would not say they are wrong as they will understand your problems better than anyone, certainly better than me. However I wonder if they are not like other 'therapy groups', you will just sit around still talking about the 'truth' and related matters. Probably now is the time to make new friends who know nothing of your past. Join the local woodwork, camera, wildlife, or whatever group appeals, something completely different.

  St. George, I don't totally disagree with you. Joining something completely different is a good thing, and if it is what you or others want, then it's a great thing. But joining the local ex-JW group is good too. The Chicago group is considering the group "therapy" type of setting, but it would not take the place of the monthly social group.
  
  Notice this from http://exjw.meetup.com/29/

  Are you inactive? Disfellowshipped? Disassociated? Are you trying to fade away gradually from Jehovah's Witnesses? Are you struggling with doubts? Are you an unbelieving family member or friend of a Jehovah's Witness? Were you raised around Witnesses and feel out of place around others?

  Leaving Jehovah's Witnesses creates hardships due to judgmental attitudes or the shunning from friends and family who are still active members in the religion. We hope we can all be of support to each other, while fully respecting each other's views, whatever they may be now.

  Friends and non-JW family don't fully understand. We meet as a Support/Social group for ex-JWs/Friends because we have been there. We carry no agenda and no requirements from you. You can remain anonymous if you want to or share all you want. We only advertise "Meetup" on our table and don't even tell the venue that we are Ex-JW's, just that we are survivors of similar circumstances. Most meetups are for a meal or may be for coffee or drinks. The vast majority of meetups are in public places around/near Chicago.

  Our totally nonjudgmental group hopes to help each other learn and share experiences about successful and enjoyable lives outside of the JW religion. There is no discrimination of any sort in our group. At meetups, we may discuss our differences but we never belittle other thoughts.

  No fees, no literature, no pressure. We just "meetup." That's it. If you want to talk or just listen as we encourage each other, that's great.

  It is hoped that people move on with their lives and get outside interests/friends, but also for some with loss of family contact or with family still captives, this is really a benefit.