I recall one case locally where a very seeming gentle kind elder was exposed as a wife beater. His wife left him and moved congregation, he was removed as an elder and publicly reproved.
Is it rare for it to be handled this way?
oz
Profoundly Shock, Sadening and Traumatic Account of Mary Aguilar
by Scott77 50 Replies latest jw experiences
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peaches
depends on the kind of elders you have and the kind of congregation....they all have their "personalities"
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Scott77
depends on the kind of elders you have and the kind of congregation....they all have their "personalities"
peaches That is correct but IMHO, all elders regardless of their 'personalities', are tied to the WTS's unwritten policy of blaming the victim rather than the abuser. Raher than stop it, it perpetuates the cycle of violence. This has to stop. Its unhelpful for elders to tell the victim to stay for the sake of god's name. Why not tell the abuser to stop the abuse for the sake of the same?
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TheOldHippie
I don't believe much of what she says - there are just too many beatings in order for it to be trustworthy. She is beaten so intensely that her face is not recognisable, but after that the beatings are intensified in frequency and force? And amid all this she goes out door-to-door? Or, was she not df'ed? And while door-to-door and at meetings she enters with unrecognisable face - ans nobody wonders? No, I find that quite simply not trustworthy at all.
We had a sister here who one day turned up with a beaten eye. It did not take long before a meeting was held with the husband - but it DID take long before his voice was heard once again at the meetings. It took five minutes before everyone figured at what had happened, and things are good today, but people still can be heard saying do you remember back then when .....
There is a funnt cartoon of a dog sitting at his computer, writing - and saying to his dog friend that "on the net, nobody knows you're a dog." Very hard at times to find out what can be believed and what can not - but this one, I do not believe.
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Scott77
I don't believe much of what she says - there are just too many beatings in order for it to be trustworthy. She is beaten so intensely that her face is not recognisable, but after that the beatings are intensified in frequency and force? And amid all this she goes out door-to-door? Or, was she not df'ed? And while door-to-door and at meetings she enters with unrecognisable face - ans nobody wonders? No, I find that quite simply not trustworthy at all. TheOldHippie There are instances in which JWs at Kingdom Hall Meetings are aware of what is going around but are powerless to take any action. Please, in this sad account, Mary Acguila as the abused victim, was doing her best as would be expected, (going to field services, meeting attendances) to be a good christian inspite of the repeated abuses. Its this kind of feminine courage, inner strength and wellpower that kept her going until the right time when she finally sought outside assistance which utimately and fortunately, lead to the stop of the abuses. To downplay or deny the attrocities inflicted by the abusive JW husband with apparent acqueinces of congregation Watchtower Elders, is to me, unhelpful. Its a great deservices to all those fighting to stop abuse of victims and help the sufferers to come out .
For those who are 'doubting thomas', this link I hope will provide additional information.
http://www.facebook.com/FederalJudgesANDProxy?ref=profile#!/FederalJudgesANDProxy
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PublishingCult
Can anyone confirm whether Mary Aguilar was the "Mary" who popped in during the last Six Screens Conference call . . . (diarrhea Mary)?
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Scott77
My experience with the JW's is that there is a subtle predjudice toward the treatment of battered women. The Elders would never think themselves to be predjudice, but many of them are.
An example of what I mean. When a MS, I heard this from a respected Elder. We were doing goodwill visits one evening. On one arranged visit, we found a sister home alone, the brother had left. She mentioned he was abusive and had struck her and wanted to know what to do, go to the police, etc....
He told her, it would be good NOT to go to the police, it could be handled within. (making her feel guilty not to bring reproach on JG's org.)
He tried to consol her, but mentioned to her how sisters with unbelieving husbands endure many more hardships, so why can't she? She could 'win him over' by her conduct. (wasn't he a JW already?)
Also, this is the worst point he made and shows more than subtle predjudice I felt. "Did you do something to cause this to happen to yourself?" Sure, she felt she was being smart with him, which caused him to slap her. (its now her fault)
Now in the car, the Elder showed to me he was very upset with the abusive JW and said he would be taken care of. In fact, he told me "he wished the WTS would allow him to beat this coward silly" He really felt for the sister, but his WTS training of 'keep it under wraps' and produce guilt to the victim was wrong.
dissed Great perspective on a Watchtower Jehovah's Witneses Elder after a shepherding call to an abused sister.
Scott77
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Scott77
"...An abused spouse many times will either commit adultery or make a false confession of adultery just to rid the abuser from their lives or will be tried and convicted of adultery just for having someone around to protect them, as happened with Mary Aguilar." jamiebowers Its been three years since this thread was posted. As an updates, Mary Aguilar is doing great today and has moved on with her life. I last heard she is participating in a radio talk show that benefits the less fortunate in New York State.
Scott77