How many Elders does it take to change a light bulb?

by karter 51 Replies latest jw friends

  • Heaven
    Heaven

    None. They wait on Jehovah to do it.

  • Lozhasleft
    Lozhasleft

    Too many...they dont like changes...

    Loz x

  • Finally-Free
    Finally-Free

    Are you referring to the typical or antitypical light bulb?

    W

  • Black Sheep
    Black Sheep

    The light is still there but it is invisble

  • betterdaze
    betterdaze

    None.

    Get the women and kids to do it after they've already cleaned the restrooms.

    ~Sue

  • RR
    RR

    Light? I didn't even know they had light

  • Elsewhere
    Elsewhere

    Heaven: None. They wait on Jehovah to do it.

    Damn, you beat me to it!

  • Hopscotch
    Hopscotch

    Well my guess is that for an issue as serious as a dead or inactive light bulb they would have to consult their elders manual first to find out what the exact procedure is. If it turns out that it is a matter that the organisation decided was sensitive and possibly subject to legal repercussions, they may have to compare their handwritten notes in the margins of the elders manual to make sure they have the procedure right. If there is still a bit of doubt about how it should be done they would no doubt contact the legal dept in Bethel for the procedure. Of course the instructions from Bethel would be given verbally with absolutely nothing in writing, just in case it turns out it wasn't the right way to do it after all and someone decides to sue them. So all in all it would take at least 3.

    However, there is always an elder somewhere who likes nothing more than taking matters into his own hand and following his own procedure to get things done his way. So in some cases it might take only one elder to change it - in fact it may even get done before any of the other elders even knew there was a problem with the bulb. If the bulb had actually blown he may even sweep the broken bits under the carpet so no one finds out about it.

    Hopscotch

  • AllTimeJeff
    AllTimeJeff

    The elders will wait for the CO visit to blame it one a couple of their number. A couple of ministerial servants who are reaching out will blame these elders two. No one will notice the color of their noses.

    When the CO visits, he will ask the pioneer sisters how long the lightbulb will be out. The PO's wife will get with the CO's wife and complain about the lightbulb and the two elders who are responsible for this condition.

    The CO will bring this up at the Servant/Elders meeting Friday. The two hot shot ministerial servants will offer their coached replies in front of the elders, looking more and more like they will be appointed. After being dismissed, the CO will pull out 1 WT bound volume, 2 letters to the elders and the flock book, and read everything ver batim. Though none of it applies, at the end of it, because the CO says it applies, it will. It will all go in a supplementary letter to the Service Dept, nicely worded, which will "recommend" that the two elders no longer qualify for allowing the light bulb to get burnt out.

    Once this report comes back, two elders will be deleted, two more appointed, and the light bulb will be changed by 2 elders sons, both in their late teens, who will be "reaching out" and appointed at the next CO visit because they don't have enough MS's now.

    Moral of the story. Kiss a lot of ass.

  • Heaven
    Heaven

    Heaven: None. They wait on Jehovah to do it.

    Damn, you beat me to it!

    Elsewhere, you made me LOL!

    There are actually some good answers to this question here and all are valid. I chose this one as this is the one that my parents seemed to adhere to the most over the last 20+ years. Once they got dipped they stopped doing stuff just like this. It is such a sad and sorry life.

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