W007, that was pretty good
How many Elders does it take to change a light bulb?
by karter 51 Replies latest jw friends
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wasastar
The local elders may not proceed without first contacting the RBC. The RBC will schedule a visit to the Kingdom Hall. A local building and repair committee will be appointed. This will generally be comprised of those without any experience in changing light bulbs, however they do love the spot light. This committee will then make a recommendation to the BOE regarding this change. After multple meetings and hours of useless discussion the BOE will present a resolution to the congregation. Which the congregation WILL PASS. The RBC will appoint someone to assist the BOE in preparing a budget for this project. After nearly a year the budget will finally be approved by the congregation.
Now the project can be scheduled. Likely this will be at least six months in the future. At that time several semi skilled bulb changers will travel 300 miles to complete the task. The completed project will be praised as a modern miracle and of the highest quality, though in reality it is mediocre.
The project will undoubtedly be at least 6% over budget. This will result in years of correspondence with the branch to resolve this issue. By the time this is completed the congregation will have shrunk by 40% and will be absorbed into another hall. The Kingdom Hall will now have to be sold. However before this can be done anothe bulb needs to be replaced.
wasastar
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ziddina
Hah! Pretty good, WasAStar, and probably chillingly close to real life...
If anything about the JWs and the WTBTS could be called 'real'... Zid
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StAnn
The light is still there but it is invisble
BlackSheep, this is my favorite of them all! Kudos to you!
StAnn
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sir82
Well it depends...are there any branch letters outlining the procedure?
If not, what does the Flock book say?
Nothing? How about the Organized book?
Still nothing? Better do a search on the WT-CD.
Still no? - call the Branch service department.
"Why doesn't one of you just unscrew the old one and screw in the new one?"
We'll have none of that kind of independent thinking here! How does the slave say it should be done? That's the way we'll do it.
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Heaven
"Why doesn't one of you just unscrew the old one and screw in the new one?"
* GASP! * (with indignant tone and hands on hips) Jehovah's Witnesses do not 'screw' anything!
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Finally-Free
Question. If someone forgot to underline his Watchtower study one week, would he still qualify for the privilege of changing a light bulb?
W
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mindmelda
One to screw it in, while making sure everyone knows how much he's sacrificing for them, and three ministerial servants to kiss his arse while he's doing it.
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palmtree67
If they make it feel guilty enough, it will change itself.
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Mythbuster
They call New York and determine if they are in a changing or non-changing state.