Family is gossiping about me, and then I get a letter

by nextdoorgirl 82 Replies latest watchtower bible

  • nextdoorgirl
    nextdoorgirl

    I called it, didn't I! She was too dumb to understand (no comprehension from my previous letters, I guess) that defamation of character happens if its TRUE or NOT. If its motivated by so-called "love" or not. I thought I made it clear, but she didn't get it. So, I wrote back:

    Defamation of character is based on damage, not accuracy of information. It doesn't matter if it was true, or believed to be true, false, intentional or non-intentional. It doesn't matter if it was based in love or concern, or out of maliciousness.

    If it DAMAGES MY CHARACTER, I can protect myself with a lawsuit and I can recieve damages for the hurt (possibly irreparable damage) caused. Regarding slander (based on falshoods), I don't know what they spoke.

    I DO KNOW that they have talked about me and it harmed my reputation. That is defamation of character, true or not. Accuracy of information is irrelevant. I still have a case.

    All talk that may harm my reputation, and you know what that is, such as "I'm worried about her spirituality"--that will cause others to withdraw from me--must stop immediately. If I notice a trend that people have withdrawn from me, I have evidence of harmful gossip.

    You wouldn't have contacted me and grilled me on personal issues if you hadn't heard this talk. Your actions are my proof. They planted the seeds in your mind and you sought to confirm it, and now you are not associating with me. Meanwhile, I have confirmed nothing. Regarding "retaliation": I am trying to warn them, so I do not HAVE to sue them AFTER my reputation is damaged, but you won't give me their names. If I can get their names from you, I can warn them to stop talking about me, and I won't have to sue to recoup damages.

    Provide their names to avoid unnecessary lawsuits and so I may protect my reputation by giving them warning. Only your actions of withholding information, would cause me to have to subpeona you to get you to testify what was said and who said it. If you tell me now, we can avoid all this. AND, they can avoid getting sued by me after I get the facts from you in court, because I will have given them warning. It is not "retaliation" or "revenge." It is a preemptive effort to warn them to stop damaging my reputation. It is to PROTECT my reputation, and it is a defensive maneuver in response to the damage they are causing.

    You help everyone, by warning of the harm of gossip, and helping me to face my accusers directly. And, for additional incentive, its the Christian principle for me to follow. Go to your brother to settle things. I am trying to do that, and I am asking you to help me.

  • nextdoorgirl
    nextdoorgirl

    I hadn't seen it til now, but she slipped in a comment right after I stated after her last comment:

    (me) Defamation of character is based on damage, not accuracy of information. It doesn't matter if it was true, or believed to be true, false, intentional or non-intentional. It doesn't matter if it was based in love or concern, or out of maliciousness.

    If it DAMAGES MY CHARACTER, I can protect myself with a lawsuit and I can recieve damages for the hurt (possibly irreparable damage) caused.

    (her) Did you completely ignore everything else I said? I guess so. All you want to focus on is the negative. I can't talk to someone who is acting unreasonable. Sue all you want if that makes you feel better. But it is wrong. And you will be held accountable. And if anyone has slandered you they too will be held accountable...not by you, by Jehovah. And she also slipped in: I refuse to argue with you. I'm done. Goodbye. right after I said: If I notice a trend that people have withdrawn from me, I have evidence of harmful gossip.

    You wouldn't have contacted me and grilled me on personal issues if you hadn't heard this talk. Your actions are my proof. They planted the seeds in your mind and you sought to confirm it, and now you are not associating with me. Meanwhile, I have confirmed nothing.

  • OLDCROW
    OLDCROW
    Don't worry about my spirituality, that's between me, Jesus and God. That's our business. Its out of your power, out of your control and out of your knowledge. Its way too big a job for you or anyone else. 'Each one stands before God on his own.'
    NDG, out of everything you shared, i like the above best. very powerful.
  • donuthole
    donuthole

    @nextdoorgirl

    It was interesting to read your exchanges with your "friend". I'm sorry that you are in pain and lacking love. May Jesus continue to supply you with what you are not getting from family and others that ought to be giving you such. It is a shame that natural affection cools and particularly shameful when it happens according to religious discrimination.

    I think you made excellent comments regarding the love that we are to show indiscrimately - I do worry though that your talk of love and forgiveness is perhaps undermined by your repeated threats of lawsuits. Retaliation might not be the best course of action, particulary in view of the example and teachings of Jesus. I know it hurts very much to be wronged and lied about. However, Jesus himself submitted to being numbered as a transgressor, accused of being a blasphemer, convincted as a criminal, and hung as an accursed one upon a tree. He did all of this without self-defense, either in word or action.

    God's peace be upon you!

  • OnTheWayOut
    OnTheWayOut

    It was kind of interesting to read your exchanges. Thanks for posting. You done good.

  • nextdoorgirl
    nextdoorgirl

    Thanks OldCrow, Donuthole and OTWO. I suppose you are right about the lawsuits, DH. But, I don't believe in playing the victim, nor martrying myself.

    If I was raped, would I not press charges? I will protect my reputation (threats of suing remind them they are breaking the law), and recoup damages AFTER the fact. Because, really, I am trying to PREVENT them from talking about me, not retaliate ATER the fact. I want it to stop now, so I don't have to sue.

  • nextdoorgirl
    nextdoorgirl

    Thanks for all your thoughts, guys. Does anyone have any thoughts for what to do next?

    Just leave it be? Or pour on the guilt, as Ynot was suggesting, like: It discourages me to feel so unloved knowing people are saying I don't love God or the bible anymore, and I don't want to be a Christian anymore. And it just breaks my heart that I would have to threaten to sue my fellow workers in the faith to protect my reputation.

  • kathleenp980
    kathleenp980

    Hello !
    I am also a new member. Would a newcomer be warmly welcome here? Good day you guy !

    __________________

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  • yknot
    yknot

    Welcome Kathleenp980........ of course a 'newbie' is welcomed here......though I would strongly urge you to be aware of spaming sites that have no relevance to the conversation ........ or spaming of any commerical sites in general for the sole purpose of advertising.

  • yknot
    yknot

    Vote: Pour on the guilt like it was kerosene!

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