by mrsjones5 46 Replies latest jw friends
Imagine when , to my surprise, my kids had there little confessions(about sex and etc.) to me as they turned 40..
I though they were little innocent witnesses/christians all the time.
Parents like nothing more than to put their kids on a pedestal and hide the truth.
Surprise!!!
The young girl has a long way to go.
I hope she doesn't give in with all the STD's/Herpes and Aids going around.
I also hope that her parents tell her how to prevent these things just in case she slips one day.
It's absolutely ridiculous, dear Josie (peace to you!)... but some of us cannot judge. At least, I can't, because it really isn't much different than allowing your children to get baptized as JWs (which I did)... if not indeed talking them into it. It's done for about the same reasons.
Parents like nothing more than to put their kids on a pedestal and hide the truth.
OMG, isn't that the truth, dear Snoozy (peace to you!). I have/have had friends/relatives over the years who make me CRINGE with the views they voice of their children when I know a very different story (because I have children - wanna know what's really going on a in congregation? Ask your children; they know). I don't judge such ones, though, because it is very sad when, years later, they must acknowledge something in/about their children... usually born out in conduct... that they refused to see early on. Indeed, I believe their over-discussion/excuses made when the children were young(er) was often why their children turned out as they did in many cases (self-fulfilling prophesy/judging others/others' children for the same things).
we've done the birds bees and contraception chats cos you cant always rely on plan A
I grew up in the 'hood, dear Nelly (peace to you, as well!), and so young parenthood was the norm, not the exception. And I never fooled myself that my children would turn out like the "good" (HAHAHA!) Witness kids they grew up with. I always thought my children, more than any others, could very well be the scandal... because of MY background and life. Didn't EXPECT or HOPE for it, but certainly didn't... couldn't... rule it out. I had a pretty... ummmmm... "colorful" life before the WTBTS - almost from birth.
BUT... I didn't want my kids to hear the TRUTH about sex from the streets. I didn't want some young, dumb, and full-of stupidity kid telling my kids what would happen if, and/or what wouldn't. So, I started from about age 5 telling them the "clinical" side of it all and answering ANY question(s), in an effort to debunk the "mystery" of it all. Got to the point where they really didn't want to hear about it anymore. Then, when they each turned 12 and was about to start middle school, I give them the "emotional" talk... and a "gift" - a foil-wrapped condom "coin."
I told them that it was NOT permission to have sex, not at ALL; however, I didn't want them to catch... or make... anything they couldn't give back, get rid of, or take care of. I told them that things "happen," and we are not always able to exercise self-control in the heat of a particular moment, and so IF they found themselves in a situation where self-control just wasn't going to be an option... to use it. I told them to keep it on them, in their purse or wallet, at all times because you never know. I reiterated that it was NOT permission to have sex... that if it were up to me they would NEVER need to use it because when they did have sex it would be with someone "safe" and at a time they had no concerns about... but that I wouldn't always be with them, to help, guide or stop them, so they might have to make the decision on their own... and I hoped they would make one they could live with.
I believe that while a few of the things I tried to teach them may not have sunk in this one did.
Peace to you all!
A slave of Christ,
SA
You're a good mom Shelly.
Maybe TOO "good," dear Josie (peace to you!)... LOLOLOLOL! The boy is 28, the girl 33, both are single, neither have children... and neither have either (marriage OR children) on their immediate horizon. Both say they "have things to do" and so "marriage/children aren't an option" right now. I, however, see at least 2-3 new gray hairs every day. Ah, well...
Again, peace to you!
A slave of Christ,
SA, who ain't getting any younger and would like to at least be able to "play" with my grandchildren before I'm way too old to do so - LOLOLOLOLOL!
**I didn't want some young, dumb, and full-of stupidity kid telling my kids what would happen if, and/or what wouldn't. **
my first period was pretty horrible as it wasnt something mentioned in passing but not in realistic terms. and to be dragged round london all day with one of those ill fitting belt contraptions cos thats all my mother had in the house was a nightmare. it dawned on me i wasnt very savvy when it came to body matters, so i fixed that.
my next door neighbour was approachable, i asked her to fill in the gaps and she sat me down with her kids and taught me the nitty grittys, it wasnt something i felt comfortable asking at home cos of the assumed sin factor involved (ask and youre contemplating or doing so a question could set off an interogation)
i made sure it was the opposite for my own kids. they know they can ask or tell me anything without having to feel embarrassed or worrying that i'll freak.
Ok so my question is What do these fathers do about there son's purity? remember it takes TWO to tango.
I think that when a child, no scratch that, a young person, understands the difference between the act of procreation - sex and the act of love, inimacy and passion, that person will be far better equipped to deal with the pressure for sex then someone that has an unhealthy view of it.
