by rafreuter 53 Replies latest jw experiences
Raf,
It's gonna be like groundhog day. Every day, you're gonna wake up and face the same little stings, the same self-alienations, tell the same lies if you want civility, and relive the same hurts. What's happening now will only happen once. If you go back, it will happen over and over again.
Here's a quote that's been very important to me:
"Then the Buddha addressed all the monks once more, and these were the very last words he spoke:
'Behold, O monks, this is my last advice to you. All component things in the world are changeable. They are not lasting. Work hard to gain your own salvation.'"
What I take from it is this - if you want freedom, you have to work for it. You don't get it for free. Remember what Jesus said "He who puts his hand to the plow and looks back is not fit for the kingdom of God."
Same meaning for me - figure out what you need to do, and DON'T TURN BACK FOR ANYTHING, because if you do, you'll realize one day what you really lost when you lost sight of your goal, and that realization HURTS.
Bon courage!
good luck with that raf, but please dont end up married for apearance sakes.
Hi Raf,
I wanted to leave the truth when about your age but first needed to leave home to get out of the control of my overbearing parents. When I moved out I felt so lonely even though I was living around new friends. I tried to hang out with other people all the time, wanted to get into a relationship even though I wasn't ready for it and spent lots of time doing hobbies.
I was still going to meetings at that time but it was a massive shock to leave home even though I didn't have to contend with "losing my family". I think fragile was the state that most described it.
When you're not sleeping it has a negative impact on your wellbeing, perspective and will aid confusion. You've done a brave thing to stand up to your family and religion and state you want to be honest in how you live. This has clearly been a shock to your system to see your parents so upset and that you seem to be the cause.
You haven't done anything wrong. Your parents have been programmed to view your reasons for rejecting the truth as worse than a criminal act. Even leaving home on good terms is still very hard for someone of your age. To leave and have this huge disapproval hanging over you is going to cause you distress.
If you choose to go back, do so on your terms. Go back but stand by what you believe in which is that you do not want to go to meetings and that you will be the person you are. Just be honest. Maybe rather than going back you can just spend some time with your family.
I hope goes well for you.
MMXIV
Raf: If you need to go home, then do so. You're in the process of developing your adult identity and if making peace with your parents is necessary, then it's necessary. Some of the most comforting words I encountered as I was leaving the "truth" (HA!) were these: "There is no wrong way to leave a cult." I think Steve Hassan said that, but I might be wrong.
Just remember that it's probably not "forever" and your whole, wonderful, shining life stretches before you...Please, let us know how things are going. We'll be here.
Welcome, cherrypye! (Ok, I know that's supposed to be a pizza but I think it looks like a delectable one-crust cherry pie!)
We'd love to hear your story, if/when you want to share.
Growing up JW (when we were about 5 to 10 yrs old) my bro had a friend who always wanted to be with us, the girls, cooking, sewing, everything girl. I didn't understand it then, but I do now. It makes perfect sense. He's gay. Never a choice he made. He never got baptized, left the jws and lives an openly gay lifestyle. I still love him and his partner is great.
You are who you are. Embrace it. Do not let some man-made religion influence you. Be who you are!
U need to stay true to yourself, and u willNOT be able to do that being a witness! Do not give yourself a time table u can't do that it takes time to get yourself together. Were u happy before u left home and attending the meetings? Do you think u will be truly happy if u go back? I suggest that u take as much time as u need to figure your life out. You have friends here! Love always Dawn
Hey Raf - welcome to the board. I'm not Gay and have never been in your position but can still sympathise.
Make the most of your life, get an education and don't ever go BACK,
Cook my Socks - your comments are completely innappropriate for this thread. This poster does not need your ill informed opinions based on a book of myths and legends written by homophobes and mysonginists.
