For those still in- why do you (really) stay, and what would it take for you to leave the org? (page 4)

serenitynow!

Me, I can handle losing you. I'll move on."

Misery, I couldn't even read the rest of what you wrote. I can't believe your mom could look you in the face and say such a thing. I am so sorry for you.

simon17

i may have to leave if they catch me living a double life.Being marked will be unbearable

Really? I think thats actually the easiest. You have no real guilt of leading a double life because people know you basically are. Your true friends and/or family will stick with you. The people you don't care about wont. And you dont really get bothered. You're a pariah to everyone you dont want to talk to lol. No expectations!

elderelite

x2 what MLE said...

I need to add though, serenity, that your original question comes accross as said like a self richeous bitch. Your avatar is a princess... i hope that is not your real life persona as well. I apologize in advance if I have misjudged, i have not interacted with you a lot on this board, if leaving was easy for you then bless you.

But statements like

For the so-called conscious class, those of you who know it's all a disgusting lie, what is the real reason you stay in? I find it hard to understand how ones who

know what the org truly is would continue to be an active JW."

or

Is it really for family, or is it just fear? Fear of the "world," fear of starting over?

What exactly would it take for you to just walk away?

only make me hear a spoiled little girl, full of contempt for those below her, who struggle with something so easy as walking away from the org. Grow up dear. Life for adults is not always black and white. Adults have to think of more then just themselves and their own short term self satisfaction, such as they may get from flipping the bird to the org and skipping merily away.

again, if i misread or misjudged, i will put on sacloth and ash, but at 4pm EST thats what that question read like

miseryloveselders

uh ohhh, grabs popcorn.........

wasblind

I agree with leaving, My heart goes out to the awaken ones who put up with so much for the sake of loved ones

everybody has a different situation, it shouldn't be viewed as being weak or scared, when leaving one thing and

going into another, one should tread with caution, not jump off of a cliff blind folded. That's why I didn't get baptisted.

what they considered slow progress, I considered treading cautiously.

serenitynow!

Your avatar is a princess... i hope that is not your real life persona as well.

As much as I would like for that to be true, in reality my life, mostly as a JW, was extremely difficult.

if leaving was easy for you then bless you.

I wouldn't say that leaving was easy. Maybe it was easier because I was already inactive when I found out it was a cult. I still went through alot of emotions when contemplating what consequences may come with me making a stand as an exJW. My immediate family knows my views, my extended family does not. I fully expect to lose my extended family. Nevertheless leaving has made me happier and more content than I have ever been. I am starting over from scratch. I have to get new friends, start dating in the "world," and have to somehow navigate through this scary new world alone.

And let me assure you, nothing in my life has been easy.

spoiled little girl

You couldn't be wronger.

full of contempt for those below her

I don't consider anyone here to be "below" me. If that's the feeling you took away then that's something that originated from within you. There is a saying I once heard, "noone can make you feel inferior without your permission."

Grow up dear. Life for adults is not always black and white. Adults have to think of more then just themselves and their own short term self satisfaction, such as they may get from flipping the bird to the org and skipping merily away.

A bit condescending I think. I am an adult; and started functioning as an adult back when I was still in high school. As it is at this point, I do not have even one parent who I can lean on for any kind of help- emotionally or financially, and that has been since I was a child. As my sister said of our mother who is severely mentally ill, that she might as well have been a crack mother for all the good she did raising us- we didn't good direction on how to live a normal life inside or outside of the org.

I don't consider extricating oneself from the WT cult to be something self-indulgent, selfish. I consider the WT to be like an abusive spouse. Everyone has the right to live a life free of abuse. It is a basic human right. I know that it is not easy to leave such a person. I know that one must make plans to make that move. Having known women who've been in that situation, I know they end up sacrificing alot by leaving. I think that if you are abused though, that it is better to leave and face the uncertainties and hardships than to continue in the abusive relationship. In my personal situation, I felt that staying was more damaging than leaving.

What I would like is for all the people who feel they must remain in for reasons of family ties, fear, etc, please see a therapist, especially one good with working with people in cults. I think that would help tremendously in helping you to see things from other perspectives, and maybe give you some ways to facilitate your exit.

elderelite

That particular statement was crafted specifically to be condescending. It was also crafted to reflect the tone of your OP. Part of being a grown up is understanding how what we say MAY be viewed by others. Being respectfull is part of social interactions. declaring anyone who stays a coward is, dear child, imature in the extreme. I hope as you grow in your life outside the org you continue come to appreciate the need to repsect others so they may in turn find you respectable. I hope you find in your life's path someone or something ( I recomend a dog) that you love more than yourself and would sacrifice for.

I am however, disapointed to find that my inital assesment of your post was correct.

Self righeous bitch

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Self-righteousness

serenitynow!

declaring anyone who stays a coward is

Saying that a person is fearful is not the same as saying he/she is a coward. There is nothing wrong with fear. I had alot of fears myself. I faced them; did a pros/cons type list. It helped to deal. I would like to get at the reasons that people stay. I think that if those reasons are addressed, maybe a solution can be found.

Why are you so defensive? Why is it that me asking why a person who knows the truth yet stays in the org so distasteful to you? You should be content with your choices, I am content with mine.

Elderelite, I know that I've touched a nerve with you; you're obviously very angry. It's up to you to look within yourself and be honest about why what I've said caused you so much anger.

bitch

That doesn't bother me a bit. I've had to be one at many times in my life. It's how I've survived.

serenitynow!

I feel that I should mention this- I am a single person, with no dependants to be concerned about. When I speak of family, I mean mother, sibling, aunts, uncles and cousins. For those with a JW spouse or children, I know that your situation has to be very difficult.

I love them too much to cause that kind of division.

This mindset is what keeps alot of people trapped, I think. It wouldn't be you causing the division, it would be the WT. What I have had to come to understand is that I cannot take responsibility for how others choose to react to choices I make in my life. I cannot do anything if my family chooses to shun me over me leaving the religion. I love them, will miss them, and be glad to welcome them back should they change their minds about shunning. I personally feel that I have devoted 35 years to the demands of the WT, and that must stop.

wasblind

Hi there Serenity,

I read your post and I find that there are a lot of reasons why people stay,

and I think that anyone who is concious, have considered the reasons, and

they have to find their own solution. It may not be what someone else sees as a solution,

but that's no ones choice to make but theirs.

For those still in- why do you (really) stay, and what would it take for you to leave the org?

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