For those still in- why do you (really) stay, and what would it take for you to leave the org? (page 6)

serenitynow!

I am.

But I don't think this Cheryl Burke should be on there. She's not a star- I ain't never heard of her. Unless she's a dancer.

wasblind

I could be wrong, and if I am , I stand to be corrected

But I think My Man took a stab at ya

serenitynow!

Do either one of you look like Cheryl Burke or Eliza Dushku by any chance?

Ok, I googled this Cheryl Burke. Hmm. Misery, I'm seeing what you like. Do you live in Ohio by chance?

geevee

I only hope that your families love you as much as you love them... Someone said they love theri family "unconditionally" which is noble, and how a lot of people are.

But... are you accorded the same respect? Does your JW family love you unconditionally? I wonder. Some may say they do, but the reality may prove to be different.

In the end, ones' happiness has to come from within. If I can be happy on my own, with myself then I don't really need their approval. I am happy to share time with them and love them, but I don't need them to return it to me.

My wife and I were going to do the slow fade, until the book study conductor said that the people [who were on TV in relation to a story about pedophile activity within the ranks of JW's] were liars and apostates! It was more than I could swallow, he wanted me to confirm his statement and I could not in all good conscience, so I picked up my books and walked. I stated that they were victims and that the borg has hurt them.

We have never been back. How many of my "friends" rang to see how we were? People I had grown up with... "0" zero, none. My friends, people who I cared about... "Unconditional", what a joke.

Why would I want to pretend that I support that? Please be careful where you place your loyalty is all I am saying.

Broken Promises

Do either one of you look like Cheryl Burke or Eliza Dushku by any chance?

No, I’m prettier (and I am a brunette)

dssynergy

I have to say, that Serenity's opening comments did strike me as very judgmental. Seems to me that one of the complaints that many of us share is that JWs are judgmental. I don't come here to be judged because I'm struggling with something that seems easy for others. I can go back to the KH for that.

So, don't think that because you are "out" and have no ties, that you are any more or less free than the rest of us. The reasons for staying are just as important as the reasons for leaving and there is no cut and dry answer. Even if our situations seem similar, none of us know how it feels for anyone to go through their particular experience or process. We all do it alone.

ds

dozy

This has been a fascinating thread and I'd like to thank everyone for their posts. Misery's post was especially interesting and poignant.

Like many of you , even though I knew that it wasn't the truth I tried to manage the situation for a few years , even while serving as an elder. I tried to justify it on the basis that I was helping the brothers , defending them from some of the self righteous power mad abusive elders. And it did encourage me to study the bible & base my life around Christian activities. I had a good life as a JW & many friendships build up over many years.

Some of you have adult children who are strong JWs and this must be very difficult to cope with potential shunning. Luckily my children are younger and they gradually reached an age when I had to decide whether I wanted them to become JWs or not . I couldn't continually go through the farce of bringing them up nominally as witnesses. I just suddenly decided to leave “cold turkey” with the Sept 2007 KM condemning studying Hebrew or Greek the final killer for me. For me it was like going from “hero to zero” in a matter of weeks. One minute I was giving talks at special assembly days & heavily involved in JW activities – the next viewed as a pariah. Shunned by parents and siblings even though not DFd or Dad.

Family ties come up strongly in the posts. The phrases “losing you” and “disappointing others” have been used quite a few times. I had an impassioned conversation with a elderly relative who told me that he never wanted ”his family to disappoint him by leaving the truth.” Another occasionally texts saying that she doesn’t want to “lose me”. These are strong expressions but ultimately selfish ones. We are the ones that have been disappointed and there is no reason for people to lose us.

Best wishes to all posters.

For those still in- why do you (really) stay, and what would it take for you to leave the org?

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