by brotherdan 121 Replies latest jw friends
brotherdan, I saw this the minute you posted it.
OMG OMG OMG! I'm sooooooooo sorry man. That's just awful! I don't care if you or anyone else might say it was a long time coming; it's just the worst. I can't say I know how you feel but I imagine it's a lot like getting hit by a speeding train! Just terrible! You have my sympathies dude. I hope everything will be alright...
V665
I still feel really bad.....(I am sorry)
Ya I couldn't see it with IE either so I switch to Firefox....
(fight for my sister, be the knight in shining armor she believes you to be.......sweep her off her feet and slowly waltz her through the exit)
Sorry to hear about what is happening. Please feel free to vent. if you need to talk, PM me.
To think we had a thread do you really care about those on this site.
I think it is evident .... yes we Do!
If it will help, feel free to PM me.
Some hard nosed advice.
1. If you can't immediately talk her out of separating, watch your joint bank accounts so she doesn't withdraw everything and clean you out. If necessary, withdraw the money yourself and switch it to your name or at least come up with some temporary distribution and put the money in your individual names.
2. Please be aware that if you have a custody fight or other court battle:
A. The JWs will all testify against you, including people you thought were friends. You'll be amazed at how evil a husband and father they'll make you out to be.
B. Anything you've posted online that might be relevant to the issues will be subject to discovery by her lawyers. That means they can get their hands on it and use it against you.
3. Therefore, unless she changes her mind immediately, consult a matrimonial lawyer asap and disclose everything to him/her. It'd be best to get one who has some understanding of the Watchtower issues or at least someone who has handled nasty religious fight cases.
4. In other words, hope and pray for the best, but plan for the worst.
Brotherdan, I don't know what to say. I am so sorry for what you are going through, I literally feel sick about it. It's just not right. I wish I had words of wisdom, I don't. I will pray for you too. If you feel like talking about it, pm me for a number.
You'll get through this.
The ruthless organization truly breaks up families.
For over two decades I did not see it, now it is so obvious.
A family is worth saving. Pray brother.
Faith in Christ doesn't cause a division because of differences, religion does that, it is sick.
.... I'm just at a loss here
Hang in there.
Thank you everybody. I'll get through it. I'm just shocked and numb. I did pray about it and I do have a strong sense of peace that I have the right motives and am trying to do the right thing. I'll get through it, like the Beatles said, "With a little help from my friends." And you guys are the only ones I've got right now. So thank you thank you thank you!
brotherdan, I'm one of those who can't see the first page of this thread but that'll be fixed as soon as I get home from work. I just wanted to let you know that I'm thinking of you and cannot believe this is happening to you. Hang in there darlin, I know you've been gut punched but things will get better in one way or another eventually. We're all here for you...
Wish I could see the first page...
I don't know how to switch to "Firefox", plus I'm afraid to just download any old thing from the internet...
But, if I understand things correctly, your wife has stated that she wants a separation???
Wish I could read her email, and grasp the nuances and fine points...
First of all, "Jehovah" hates a divorcing... Or divorce. Whatever.
Secondly, has she recovered from the trip yet?? Or is she still sleep-deprived? That could be a HUGE factor in the way she's looking at the situation.
Also - and I DO NOT WANT TO RAISE YOUR HOPES, but... Perhaps she feels [in her gut/heart/whatever] that there's something wrong, too; only she's been so thoroughly trained to be a "good little JW girl" that she cannot conceive that it is the ORGANIZATION that's generating her feelings of unease.
So, she 'sublimates' her fears about the organization into YOU - viewing YOU as the 'source' of her 'troubles', when in fact she has doubts that she cannot - at this point- feel comfortable even admitting TO HERSELF, let alone anyone else... [anyone with a degree in psychology; did I use the correct word here - 'sublimate'???]
Tough to fight - open up - this sort of self-delusion...
My thoughts are with you and your family. I hope that she reconsiders her decision. If she is not earning a good wage, perhaps only a stay-at-home-mom, maybe the harsh realities of being the SOLE provider for her children will prompt her to view the situation with a calmer head...
Zid
Here's her email again. I typed it out this time.
i appreciate you being honest.thanks.its sad because from this point on everything will be different. its a long time coming so I am not suprised.just sad.heart broken.numb.i dont know how you think that we can fake it to our children.we are not united anymore, we are on a separate path.it is hard enough to make a marriage work in general,but when you are on two different roads I can't fathom how that would work.maybe we should separate for awhile.i dont think it would be wise or fair for Carter to see me upset all the time.he has already gone through so much.i guess i just need to think about what I need to do.
then the second one:
i feel ill right now.i honestly dont want to talk about it anymore.i get it.you no longer want to be a jehovahs witness.i get to spend my life debating with you and defending myself.sounds perfect to me.what I always imagined.sorry if I dont feel excited about the future.
