JWs REFUSE to Reason! (page 4)

ziddina

"... Forgive me, but i think your wife is trying to guilt you. I think she is trying to provoke you, to stroke the right strings in you, so you will be mad at her and she can rationalize what she is doing to your family. ..."

Like Bohm and Ding said...

This comment of hers puzzles me and makes me wonder...

".. i will fall out of love with you. you don't quite understand that. I dont want to go on dates anymore. I don't want special time with you anymore. ..."

I find it extremely strange that, if she's in love with you, DEEPLY in love with you, that she'd toss off the opportunity to reconcile with you, and thereby get you 'back' to the KH...

Another poster on one of your previous threads wondered whether your wife might be acting uner the direction of the elders in this... I'M wondering whether she has another JW guy waiting in the wings, in spite of her "martyr" act...

But again, that whole "martyr" act gives HER the POWER in this situation - at this point in time...

Brother Dan, you still haven't told us - DOES YOUR WIFE HAVE A WELL-PAYING JOB????? Can she support herself??? AND the kids???? Are her parents nearby - AND active Jehovah's Witnesses???

There are a lot of factors figuring into this situation...

Zid

SweetBabyCheezits

Dan, I apologize for the advice on the Mormon parallel. These folks are right - your wife has all defenses up and reason has no influence. My wife had already been hearing my doubts for years before I used the Mormon analogy. She is ultimately the one who had to see things for herself.

I'm sorry I didn't consider that, I just wanted to help.

ziddina

Uhm, SweetBaby, I thought it was good advice, myself, when I first read it... My 'doubts' about your advice were way back-of-the-mind stuff...

ziddina

Brother Dan, I have a really, REALLY difficult question for you...

WHAT would it take - according to your wife's way of thinking - for her to come back to you and accept you as her 'husbandly' head, again???

I have a pretty good idea, but I'd like to hear it from you...

Would you need to go to the elders??? Declare that your faith "slipped", but that you're back on the right track?? Attending ALL the blasted meetings would be one requirement; see my advice to contact Undercover for advice on how to stay "sane" while attending the meetings...

I also wonder, what would SHE do if you suddenly did a 180 and zipped right back into the Watchtower Society with (apparent) zest and zeal?? Would she come back to you then? Would she consider you "good" husband material??? Especially since she's not that active, herself???

Is she looking for an excuse to break up the marriage???

The fact that you've sent several incriminating emails would have to be worked around... If you do decide to go back in - UNDERcover - you may want to figure out how to pre-empt any potential blackmail or manipulation of you, by your wife if she decides to use those emails against you...

Sure hope some of this helps...

Zid

OUTLAW

Another poster on one of your previous threads wondered

whether your wife might be acting uner the direction of the elders in this......Ziddina

It`s probably an Elder and every JW she asociates with..

With nothing better to do than meddle in someone elses marriage..

The amount of negative re-enforcement these people are willing to provide,is staggering..

It`s you against,literally an Army of JW`s..

........................ ...OUTLAW

Nice_Dream

Your wife is only 6 months postpartum? She may be having a difficult time caring for 2 children or struggling with PPD. This on top of everything just adds to her stress. I know that this is not your fault, and you need to be true to yourself. But just so you can see where she's coming from. She's just protecting her kids the best she knows how, just like you want to. She's totally blinded by the cult. I know you love your wife, so I think you really need to stop before she does something really crazy.

I know you're both hurting right now, and I hope that you can patch things up to make her see that your family is #1, despite your differering views.

Ding

Brotherdan,

I'm sending you a PM.

GLTirebiter

(BrotherDan said on another thread)

I hate that I'm making her fall out of love with me.

Don't buy into a guilt game! You didn't make her fall out of love. That's her own decision; her reply to you shows it's a conscious choice. You didn't tell her she had to choose between her husband and the Kingdom Hall, you told her she did not have to choose. That decision is between her and the Watchtower organization.

ziddina

Right on, GL Tirebiter...

She sure sounds like she's on a power trip; being FEMALE and being raised [???] in the "truth", can generate a LOT of hard feelings towards men - believe me, I know...

It almost sounds like she's releasing some long-pent-up frustrations and angers; again, I wonder, is she gainfully employed??? Or - as is more likely - a stay-at-home mom???

Being a "stay-at-home" can be detrimental to one's self-esteem; add to that the effects of the Watchtower Organization's frequent "implications" about a woman's "place", and Brother Dan could be looking at a LOT of resentment...

Jes' my two-cents worth, since I was a secretly-rebellious female while I was "in"...

Zid

WTWizard

That's what makes dingbats and witlesses out of them. And, one I used to work with was like that. He trashed the department, giving false prices on supplies and wasting huge amounts of other supplies and ruining things "in the name of saving time". He never did anything objectively, such as seeing how much time was actually wasted in hooking up the extra equipment compared with the time saved. He never looked at whether his new policies were in fact ruining fixtures and/or equipment. Rather, he just continued imposing them until he got fired for an unrelated incident.

Such hard-headedness also works to make field circus miserable. You go out in field circus. You had better results doing things your way (and have the numbers to prove it), or you are more comfortable and can stay out longer. Yet, because some dingbat already has the system decided, you have to do it his way and suffer. Then, when you get fewer studies or can't stay out as long, they have strokes. It also results in many a child getting spanked and beaten, and threatened with more, for not going along with the program all day.

JWs REFUSE to Reason!

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