Dating a JW for 3 yrs (page 3)

Ding

When his parents say they want to see you progress in the truth, that means they want you to become a 100% committed, baptized Jehovah's Witness.

DON'T jump into a marriage because you fear you'll always be alone if you don't.

Millions of people have done that and end up with years of misery, wondering how much better life could have been if they had had a better self-image and waited.

There are plenty of great guys out there to choose from who would be happy to marry you without trying to force you into some legalistic mind control cult.

If you or your children ever need a blood transfusion, your bf will NOT give consent.

He'd be disfellowshipped if he did.

JWs think people are better off dead (hope of a resurrection) than having a life-saving blood transfusion.

They really DO think that!

Magwitch

Run like Hell! Save yourself and your future children a lot of heartache. Find a man that has similar religious views to yours.

garyneal

I amazed at the number of people posting here lately who cannot seem to find anyone outside of the witness faith to consider marrying.

I guess I was one of them 8 years ago. There are a lot of things in life that will make any marriage difficult. These should be the happiest moments in your relationship. If you are not happy now, it will not get better when you get married.

Anyone will tell you that once you get married and / or start living with another person that is when things change and get very difficult. If your relationship is on shaky grounds now (and it is) it will only get worse upon getting married. This is true even if the man is not a witness.

Now add the fact that he is a lapsed witness with an uber dub family who would not be satisfied unless you become baptized and join their little cult. Guilting you to believe that you must be a witness to please God (actually I believe the opposite to be true).

Witnesses cannot be true to themselves and that is why they carry that heavy burden of guilt and take mountains of tranquilizers. Do you really want to become involved in something like that. Remember what Madea says, "I can do bad all by myself." I learned the hard way that sometimes it is better to be 50 and single and happy than to be married and miserable.

It is one thing to be single wishing you were married, it is quite another to be married wishing you were single.

wannabefree

Do you want to spend your entire life waiting for Armageddon to come soon?

Do you want your children to miss out on everything that you enjoyed and have happy memories about as a child?

Do you want to raise children to always be in fear of dying at Armageddon if they aren't loyal to Jehovah and his Faithful and Discreet Slave (the Governing Body of Jehovah's Witnesses)?

How do you feel about your Children being indoctrinated meeting after meeting ... assemblies ... conventions, day after day, year after year, that they should feel guilty and spiritually weak if they aren't reaching out to pioneer and God forbid want an education?

Do you want to give up all of your friends who are not Witnesses because they are bad association and raise children who are only allowed to have social interaction with other JW kids and adults who will drop them like they have the plague if they aren't following the Witness path or one day decide to leave?

If this guy you love believes JW's have the truth, everything else is from Satan. He will return. It will not go well. As the head of the house, he will be expected to raise his kids the JW way, whether you believe or not.

Be aware. A Jehovah's Witness is not just a member of a religion, it is their identity.

Nathan Natas

If you marry this guy you will find your quality of life significantly diminished virtually overnight as Jehovah and the elders move into your bedroom and demand that your JW husband exercise his "headship" over you. Even if you remain in infidel, your husband will see to it that if your children ever need a blood transfusion, they will be sacrificed to Jehovah instead.

Really, don't do this. Save yourself.

"When the rabbit screams, the fox comes running, but not to help."

justbreathe825

You are all so right....but yet when you love someone

we r supposed to have a talk tonight...I am ready to tell him that when we have a family i won't let my kids step in a kh. i don't want them exposed to all that brainwashing.

If he agrees...great althought there would be a chance that he's just lying to shut me up.

if he doesn't i think i have to break it off...that would be a sign of his committment and expecting his family's committment to the religion just to please his parents...which would be pathetic.

Ding

As long as you are having the big discussion, you might want to ask him about his WT view of male headship in the family and how that would affect decisions like religious upbringing of the kids, blood transfusion decisions, your kids going door to door witnessing, what he expects you tell your kids about why mommy makes Jehovah unhappy by not attending meetings, getting batpized, and any other specific issues you find to be important.

Also, how are you going to handle it when you want to do something with hubby and he's out knocking on doors spreading the Watchtower message?

Another question for you to consider based on what you said above: If you can't trust him to tell you the truth about such things, what does that tell you about what your marriage would be like?

GLTirebiter

First, welcome to the forum! (if I haven't already said that to you). I'm glad you're asking these questions before taking the plunge into mixed-faith marriage to a Witness.

I am amazed how many young JW guys/gals, become inactive JWs, don't live in accordance to JW dogma, rules and regulations, then get their "worldly" (JW term for someone never a JW) boyfriend/girlfriend). Then, they get these non-suspecting non-JWs in love with them and get engaged or married. Then, revert back to JWdom, and get their BF/GF to study with JWs and hopefully get baptized.

Even if you don't study and don't get baptised, there is still a lot of pressure. The UnBelieving Mate (UBM) who wants to remain that way will be love-bombed at first, but eventually becomes a second-class member of the Witness family when they resist conversion. Meanwhile, at first their spouse is earning sympathy points for trying to bring you into the organization, then is seen as spiritually weak because they couldn't make you "come into The Truth". That would likely occur sooner rather than later when the JW is the husband, who is supposed to provide strong "headship" and control the family's spiritual life.

Nathan Natas

He will agree, and when the time comes, he will change his mind and you will be SCREWED.

DON'T DO THIS.

How did you ever come to be dating this guy in the first place? Do you realize that it is probably because as a non-JW girl, you were a lot more "fun" to be with, and unlikely to go running to the elders when he pressed you for sexual favors? He's a two-faced snake who used you for what he saw as your "low" morals. Now he want's to lock you in.

If you marry this guy you will bitterly regret the day you said , "I do."

pirata

When someone loves you for what they want you to become, and not what you are, they are in love with their fantasy, and may always see you as falling short of that fantasy.

Dating a JW for 3 yrs

Share this