Marital Due and the KS

yknot

I just did a 'quick' search and 'marital due' doesn't appear to have made the 'list' of issues addressed in the KS!

Did I miss something????? If NOT..... WHY???

Seriously, WHY???

Shouldn't the blantant repeated refusal (not justifiable under illness, ability, or discernable reason) be an issue addressed?

I know of couples south of my congregation where the Brother has not paid 'due' for over a decade and I am sure many others on the board can cite Sisters who refuse to 'put out' without reasonable merit. Cases such as those where one refuses reasonable reconcilation of the matter.

Seriously the 'I am going to be a holdout to punish you' has always been present so why not address the matter so that Elders can threaten reproof or JC. I mean come on they micro-manage everything else!

I would also like to think this should include the 'selfish' lover who gets his rocks off without even trying to give mutual pleasure...

Doesn't 'due' have 'due course'??????

(sorry yall, I was reviewing Chapter 12.......)

love and be loved!

Lady Lee

OH boy This is how I see it

Shouldn't the blantant repeated refusal (not justifiable under illness, ability, or discernable reason) be an issue addressed?

It is addressed in the marriage talk and in the books about family. marriage or Keeping you family life happy and in WT studies.

I know of couples south of my congregation where the Brother has not paid 'due' for over a decade and I am sure many others on the board can cite Sisters who refuse to 'put out' without reasonable merit. Cases such as those where one refuses reasonable reconcilation of the matter.

Well if one of them actually does complain to the elders they would be counseled on it based on the above information: books about family life. I think thi sis a clear enough subject that it might not require a special entry in the book.

"reasonalbe merit"? How would you define that? Wife ha done 4 loads of laundry and chased a couple of kids around all day, cleaned the house and prepared supper so husband can run in the door, scarf down a meal and then they rush to a meeting. When they get home he wants th edue and she is tired. Or has a headache - sometimes we do get them.

I suspect few people wiill actually go complain and when they do they are going to get "the talk" and go home where nothing will change so why go back?

Seriously the 'I am going to be a holdout to punish you' has always been present so why not address the matter so that Elders can threaten reproof or JC. I mean come on they micro-manage everything else!

They can and do. But not everything can be in the elders book. If it is covered elsewhere they can use those comments.

And they can always call Bethel

I would also like to think this should include the 'selfish' lover who gets his rocks off without even trying to give mutual pleasure...

Hey do you know my ex? They had sex. That is the "due" It is for him. Not her.

Doesn't 'due' have 'due course'??????

Nope

elderelite

this acctually has been addressed, sort of. There is a letter to the boe that talks about in the even a mate is unfaithfull the inocent mate can't hold out forever as punishment while caliming forgiveness. Its sort of a grey area if I remember right about how long, years was the impression.

as for those who are simply married to someone selfish... tough luck. You should know before you got married...

and sex isn't part of marriage. its sanctioned by marriage, but not REQUIRED in marriage.

Once again, thank you WTB&TS for your input and finding a way to ruin the most basic and primal of all human needs/desires

Lady Lee

How can you say it isn't required. The scriptures about the marital due all have to do with not withoholding it.

elderelite

LL, you misunderstand. thats not my personal view its what the WT protray's. its in print. I dont have my cd rom installed to pull the quote but I have it in my bag (i 'll get it shortly) and there is an article that specifically says that if the marriage becomes sexless for whatever reason the mate that is suffering has to suck it up and be happy anyway. its in print.

Lady Lee

wow Bet that was published after 1985

elderelite

LL, I'm so sorry... I have just looked thru my bag and cannotput my hands on it.. however I have it marked on the cd rom and will pull the referance tonight/tommarow (wanna do it for myself at this point)

Scully

It's funny (funny "strange", not funny "haha") how the JWs are indoctrinated to believe that marriage is the only proper venue for sexual relations, and yet it seems that The Marital Due™ is one of those areas where spouses feel entitled to punish each other by taking The Due™ against their partner's will (ie, marital rape per modern jurisprudence, unless you live under sharia law), antagonizing and pestering their partner to perform to the point where they are doing it to make them shut up and quit bugging them, or withholding The Due™ as a form of punishment.

There's nothing at all that rings true to the vows they take to each other -- to love, honour, and cherish -- in any of those scenarios.

Why the hell even bother with marriage? That isn't marriage - it's masochism.

I'd much prefer to be in a loving, respectful relationship without commitments that is free of that bull$h!t, than to be imprisoned in a "marriage" like that.

blondie

*** w73 6/1 p. 352 Questions From Readers ***The innocent mate may even have contributed toward the unfaithfulness of his or her marriage partner. If, for example, the wife has deliberately deprived her husband of the marital due, she bears a certain responsibility for what has happened. She is not altogether without blame from God’s standpoint, for the Bible admonishes: "Let the husband render to his wife her due; but let the wife also do likewise to her husband. . . . Do not be depriving each other of it, except by mutual consent for an appointed time, that you may devote time to prayer and may come together again, that Satan may not keep tempting you for your lack of self-regulation."—1 Cor. 7:3-5.

------------------------------I can remember 2 elders showing this passage to a sister telling her she was partially responsible for her husband committing adultery.

metatron

Unwritten solution: get your wife really angry at you, then do a prostitute, then immediately tell her and have her explode. Then, quickly confess everything to an elder and cry about how sorry you are and how your wife doesn't forgive you.

Result: they reprove you and you are scripturally free to divorce.

Lots of elders know about this and will discreetly go along with it. One guy claimed he was absolutely overcome with passion and couldn't help himself. I had to laugh because he remembered to carry a condom and use it. His wife did really hate him, unfaithful or not.

metatron

Marital Due and the KS

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