by leavingwt 195 Replies latest jw friends
Maybe there's different kinds/levels of forgiveness
yea...i'm beginning to think that we all have our own personal definitions of it. I notice that what I consider 'forgiveness' doesn't fall in line with what many people think of. I tend to think of it as forgetting and acting as if it didn't happen. If I can't do that, then it's not forgiveness. That's my take anyway, for what it's worth...
I like this video of Derrida discussing the (im?)possibility of forgiveness.
But - if that person apologized, blah, blah, blah, but yet stole again and again, you can't forget that. You know that they can't be trusted therefore you protect yourself from them and their habits. You haven't forgotten and by not forgetting and taking steps to protect yourself, you haven't forgiven them. You can't forgive them...they've proved themselves unworthy of forgiveness.
I think in a case like this, you can forgive the nature of the person (which is more of an acceptance of who they are without wishing them ill, and in fact still wishing them good in their life and moving on), without necessarily putting yourself into known and continued harm.
I think that is a different level of forgiveness.
Tammy
The power of forgiveness is totally unknown to those who haven't truly experienced it or granted it.
To those who have experienced total forgiveness, it is priceless, I testify to that!
True and total forgiveness can be granted form those who have received it themselves.
Blessings in Christ,
Stephen
But if you forgive someone of whatever trespass they may have committed, doesn't that automatically involve forgetting?
No, cuz you may have forgiven, changed how you felt for the person, and let it go but the offender may not have changed, and if given the chance will mostlikely do it again. Now if the offender has acknowledged the wrong, apologized, and tried to make amends for the wrong essentially changing themselves then I would say forgetting the wrong would come into play (there are exceptions such as pedophillia and other heinous crimes). But the kicker is you have no control of the offender, you only have control of yourself. IMHO forgiveness is not neutralized by not forgetting.
I think forgiveness is important although I have had difficulties in the past with it. Eventually I do forgive because I dont see the sense in reliving the past or being torn up about it.
In my mind forgetting is completely being able to erase the memory out of your mind..
You can forget about it for the time and possibly for a long time but someday something will trigger that memory..so you didn't truly completely forget..
Sometimes for a while just seeing that person will trigger the unpleasant memory.
I also think it matters if you think that person did something intentionally or not and also the severity of the pain.
Being a ex-JW is an excellent example..some are fine,just glad to be out and away, the bad memories are a thing of the past, the pain has diminished to a low (not true for all) and then they visit here...the memories resurface..the pain is renewed, they forgive but they didn't truly forget.
Snoozy..
Wow, I guess I am all kinds of bad. I have all kinds of things that I refuse to forgive. Period. And, it doesn't bother me that I don't forgive. I don't feel the need to forgive, but I recognize others as having the need to be forgiven. The other person's repentence carries no weight if the offense was sufficiently heavy. That's just the deal.
It depends on how you define "forgive".
I'm siding with Mrs. Jones. Forgiveness means letting go of anger and not seeking retribution. It doesn't entail forgetting, pretending there really wasn't any harm, or not taking precautions to prevent a recurrence.
Forgiveness does not mean enabling the very act you forgave, rather it is a way to seek peace within yourself and with others despite the offense.
For a hunter gatherer, staying mad and seeking revenge took up a lot of the time and energy that was needed just to stay alive-, However, kings have the luxury of time and the use of their subject's energy to hold grudges and to get even.
