Being honest with yourself, could you have reasonably adjusted your attitude and continued on as a JW?

by miseryloveselders 84 Replies latest jw friends

• 

  Twitch

  No.
• 

  Nobleheart

  Knowing what I know now, it's impossible. To me that's wrong on many levels. I'd have to lie to myself, lie to my family, lie to ppl in the hall, and lie to people in the ministry. Those are simply too many lies.
• 

  NewChapter

  I had great friends at the hall. People that did so much for me, I could never properly express my gratitude. Hours of laughter and comfort. Of course, none of them are talking to me, even though I'm not DF'd or DA'd. I'm not angry at too many people personally, but the CULTure makes me angry. I could never, ever, ever return. But then, I don't have family held hostage there. If I did, I may be able to return just to keep things smooth with them. Perhaps to execute a fade, (if I had been df'd and reinstated) just so I could talk to them. But, like I said, I'm not DF'd or DA'd, and they still don't talk to me, so maybe that wouldn't work anyway.

  I could never EVER work in the ministry. How is DB going to do that knowing what they know? I mean, even just sitting in the car would be supporting the ministry and making it visible. I just couldn't. I couldn't talk to a study or new person without trying to warn them. RUN. And of course, if I actively warned people away, that would get me DF'd anyway. So, I guess I couldn't act with a clear conscience AND stay in good standing.
• 

  journey-on

  A few years ago, I had a period of about a year, where I got all warm and fuzzy thinking about the tight knittedness of the witnesses and reminescing about some of the people, the comfortable routine of it all, and the security that comes with being part of a group that you've known for so long. I let an elderly sister talk me into attending a few meetings, thinking I could play the part. It didn't last. As I looked around the hall at the faces one Sunday, it felt like The Stepford Wives. They looked foreign to me in a way that's hard to describe. I just knew it was wrong to be there because the Watchtower Bible & Tract Society of Jehovah's Witnesses is wrong. I knew it and felt like a dog returning to its vomit. I don't want to use the word evil to describe it, but cultish and unspiritual may come close. The real Divine is not there.
• 

  mrsjones5

  Being honest with yourself, could you have reasonably adjusted your attitude and continued on as a JW?

  No, to do so would have been a lie. That's basicly why I never got dipped and left.
• 

  hotspur

  No - not at all. It reached a crescendo when every piece of literature I read made me angry. Every meeeting I atteneded left me emotionally drained because I was having restrain my inner self. Assemblies? Don't go there...... never experienced such a haughty lot of two-faced people ( for the most part).
• 

  bafh

  I know my experiences don't speak for everyone elses, but I have to say I just don't have a serious axe to grind with anyone in my congregation or JWs for the most part. My beefs with the organization stem from how much my upbringing has affected my life as an adult, and not being able to express all of my views with fellow JWs for fear of ostracism. To put it simply, I'm not a fan of the WT's micromanagement as they go beyond whats written.

  This is how I feel. I'm sort of on the fence about some of the theology. They could be right, or they could be wrong. We simply don't have enough information. I've often classified myself as an Agnostic JW - because while I believe in the basic Christian tennets, there is so much prophecy that we don't have perspective on - or the right to come to any definitive conclusions. Everyone has the right to believe what they want, and although my family was effed up, it can't be blamed on religion. My family would have been effed up no matter what religion we happen to be. I don't have an axe to grind, and I'm not particularly angry. I would like to just walk away without being threatened with not communicating with my family again (particularly my nephew). So, I'm doing a fade...and it's more strenuous this time than last. I think if I can be faded this time, I'm not ever going back...I don't think i have it in me to do again.

  I'm almost 40 years old, and I'm tired of living my life on hold. I think if I were a personality that fit in to the social structure of the congregation easier, I could fake it. But I'm not, and I can't. And frankly, when it comes right down to it: I don't care. I don't care enough to struggle with my doubts. I don't care if I do actually die at Armageddon or by the hand of God. I am not afraid of heaven, hell or death. I just don't care.

  And, at the same time - I have a lot of sympathy for those who do feel bitter, angry and all the other negative emotions that get expressed here. You have every right to feel that way. I used to about some things...and I'd just like to suggest that everyone work on letting that anger go - for the benefit of no one but you...being so angry and bitter is not good for us. But forgiveness and compassion make our lives better especially if we are able to forgive people who don't deserve it.

  BAFH
• 

  mrsjones5

  We simply don't have enough information.

  No baby, you don't have enough information but it's out there if you want it and are willing and not afraid to look.
• 

  yourmomma

  I wouldnt agree that we dont have enough informatiom. We have enough information that proves the watchtower is a lying and destructive cult. Now, some people never read through all the information. But many who have could never go back.
• 

  snowbird

  I couldn't.

  As Mary Magdalene bewailed, "They have taken away our Lord ..."

  Syl