Good topic Miz.
Welcome Bafh!
Miz, you said and not being able to express all of my views with fellow JWs for fear of ostracism. To put it simply, I'm not a fan of the WT's micromanagement as they go beyond whats written. At the same time, I have to admit that there's plenty of institutions everyday people are a part of, that during their involvement with, they cannot speak their mind too openly. Such as school, or your place of employment. Why should we expect any more with any religious institution?
Not being able to have open discussion is one of my biggest problems. True, many institutions have guidelines in which to follow. The WT takes it to a whole different level, though. It has positioned itself as a High Control Group.
In a classroom, the student is allowed to ask questions of the teacher. Often times, this gets the whole class engaged in a meaningful discussion. This is not allowed at a congregation meeting. The instructions for how to conduct a meeting and how to participate limit any real thinking. This trickles down into private inter-JW conversations. JWs learn what to say and what not to say, whether we believe it or not. We parrot the "correct" responses and typical language as we have memorized (read: been indoctrinated by) them. If someone unfamiliar with JW teaching heard us speaking about doctrine it would sound like incomprehensible jargon. Asked to explain doctrine free of jargon (i.e., explain it in your own words) and the average JW gets stumped. Or, try saying to a fellow JW that you see some convincing arguments for evolution and watch the jaws drop and let the squirming begin. Non WT thought is not to even be considered.
At a place of employment, employers appreciate feedback about how to improve operations, be more efficient, and correct costly mistakes. Most businesses hold monthly meetings where employees have a chance to discuss concerns. In the congregation, there is no such forum. Question doctrinal error = apostasy. Critique a poorly functioning servant body = working against Christ's appointed representatives. Suggest a more effective method of preaching the good news = going against the Society's direction. It doesn't matter if you are right. In these cases, if you have anything non-flattering to say about the Org, you're wrong by WT default.
All I would like is the opportunity to take some of the issues that perplex me and discuss them openly with the people I love the most. I'm not free under the WT umbrella to do that. I'm positive that I have found truth beyond the walls of the WT. But if I think it, I'm guilty of thought crime. If I speak it, I'm guilty of apostasy. I risk being cut off. There is not "agree to disagree" option. There is no "I respect your opinion-you respect mine-let's coexist peacefully" option. I'm being made an enemy simply because of a few disagreements. The power that the WT holds over the minds of its followers is frightening.
So, to answer your question, I can never go back to robot mode. To adjust my attitude would be to turn my back on real truth. So for now, I'll slug through it.
